Fix You
by sachi-sama
Summary: It's hard enough falling in love with someone when you hate everyone. Try doing it in a mental institution!
1. Chapter 1

_Prologue: __Fix You_

_(Coldplay)_

_[When you try your best but you don't succeed_

_When you get what you want, but not what you need_

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep_

_Stuck in reverse_

_And the tears come streaming down your face_

_When you lose something you can't replace_

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_

_Could it be worse?_

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try, to fix you_

_And high up above or down below_

_When you're too in love to let it go_

_But if you never try, you'll never know_

_Just what you're worth_

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try, to fix you_

_Tears stream down your face_

_When you lose something you cannot replace_

_Tears stream down your face_

_And I..._

_Tears stream down your face_

_I promise you, I will learn from my mistakes_

_Tears stream down your face_

_And I...]_

He wasn't sure when exactly it started. He only knew where it ended up. Everything was one way, then another. Life was up, then down. Suddenly though…he couldn't deal with it anymore. There needed to be a release…some way to calm himself down.

Then…it happened. The built up pressure he had felt for so long in his heart trickled down his wrist, relieving him. The cuts healed over quickly, no one really ever noticed them. Then again, no one really ever noticed _him. _There were perks to that though. He didn't really want to be noticed. He hated people. They hated him back. That's all there was to it. He easily wrapped his arms up and concealed his personal therapy from their prying eyes.

When high school started, things changed. Everything grew more hectic; it was unbearable. Suddenly the pressure in his chest felt ungodly tight, like he was being choked. Things were getting worse and worse for him…no one noticed though. No one ever did.

Who was there to notice him anyway? It was always only him. His dad was never in the picture to begin with. His mom was a classic case of suicide gone wrong. He had been by himself for most of his life, even before she killed herself a few years ago. He was 20 now. He had been only 15 when she had died. Hachimenroppi was convinced he was to walk through the world alone, forever. But that was alright. No one needed to be drug down with him. He was his own Hell, and he would remain confined to himself.

He had one family member that wouldn't leave him the fuck alone. His cousin, Izaya Orihara. The cunning man often intruded in his life, forcing him to talk about his insignificant little problems. He could recall when his cousin lifted his long sleeves a few years ago, marveling at the cuts.

"Did they hurt?" he had asked, carmine eyes filled with wonder.

"They felt wonderful." Hachimenroppi had replied.

Izaya was the only connection he had to his dad's side of the family. His mom had no family. Izaya's parents were wealthy, but never around often. So the sly raven loved to prowl in on Hachimenroppi's life, pestering him constantly about the cuts. There was always that stupid damn question…_Why? _

Why, why, why, why, WHY?

Fuck, he didn't know! He already said that he didn't know when it began. He only knew where it ended up. His bags packed, he looked up at the large stone building surrounded by an iron gate.

"This is your new home." his cab driver had said.

"_This is my new prison." _The raven thought dryly, looking at the fading lettering on the sign outside the fence.

_ Ikebukuro Psychiatric Hospital- Established 1962, _it read. But it was home now. _Home…_

_[Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try, to fix you]_

* * *

_My newest chapter fic! I had to have a Tsukioppi…They're just so cute and don't get much love! I'll add more to the story in the next chapter, sorry if this one seems vague. D: _


	2. Chapter 2

_I've decided that since I'm a music lover, every chapter will be named after a song that fits it! There will be lyrics integrated into the story toward the end. I can't believe chapter one got reviews already! It was so short! I promise to make up for it in this chapter though!_

**Disclaimer: **_Seriously? If I owned them I'd be keeping them prisoner._

_Red Is The New Black_

_(Funeral For a Friend)_

Hachimenroppi stepped through the large doors, observing his new surroundings.

"_My new habitat." _he thought dryly.

There were various people standing around, also many seated. The raven saw a few people that seemed to be around his own age, others seemed much older.

"_They'll probably die in here." _

Garnet eyes scanned over the large sitting room as he was led past it. There was a group of young adults gathered around the television, talking loudly. He caught the eye of one of the men with golden eyes, who grinned widely at him.

"Come on Orihara-san." The woman leading him muttered. He obeyed, still carrying his large duffel bag. She led him down a dimly lit hallway. All of the doors were numbered. They stopped in front of door number 115.

"This will be your room." she smiled at him.

There were two beds, two windows, one desk…

"I have a roommate?" he asked her warily.

"Yes. He should be in shortly once he's notified of your arrival. Before that though, you should get settled in. Your first therapy session should be happening soon." she smiled again, turning on her heels. "I'll notify the doctor."

When left alone, Hachimenroppi couldn't help but wonder how the hell he ended up in this situation. Well…he knew how. He was still just pissed off about it. Sighing loudly, he opened one of his bags and pulled out his sketchbook, sitting it under the pillow of the bed not occupied by random bits of clothing. He assumed his roommate was probably a slob.

The other side of the room was entirely scattered about. There were clothes here and there, bits of paper randomly tossed about. This could be a problem seeing as how the raven was usually so neat…Even so, he continued to unpack and fold his things into the chest that was at the foot of his new bed. He kicked his empty bags under his bed, and flopped down on it loudly. There was a knock.

"Orihara-san? The doctor will see you now." The lady from before said nicely. Hachimenroppi followed her again down the hallways that winded endlessly. They stopped in front of two polished wooden doors, before she led him inside the office. This doctor was obviously well off if they could afford such extravagant things in an _office. _

A man with large spectacles sat behind the desk, his dark brown hair high lighted with gold from the lamp that was positioned over his head. He, like the woman, looked overly friendly.

"Orihara-san! It's a pleasure to meet you! I'm Dr. Shinra Kishitani. I'll be helping you from now on!" he said enthusiastically, holding out his hand. The raven shook it loosely, but said nothing.

"Have a seat, have a seat." The doctor said, burying his face in files for a moment. "It says here you're a…suicide case? Hmm…"

"No. I never fully intended to die. I just like the cutting." Hachimenroppi said, annoyed. He had answered the same damn question so many times already.

"Ah I see. Tell me what lead to you coming here." Shinra replied, his glasses gleaming in the light.

"My cousin found me passed out in my room from blood loss. I guess…I cut too hard last time."

It was true. He had been frustrated at the time, and cut down harder than he had meant to. If Izaya hadn't been his creeper self and broke in when he did…Hachimenroppi would be dead now.

"Hmm…why were you angry enough to cut so hard?" The doctor asked.

"I…got fired from my job…" The raven said in defeat. He _really _didn't want to discuss this right now. The spectacled man seemed to understand.

"Ah, well we'll get more into detail later. Right now why don't you go have the others show you around a bit? We'll be having dinner in a few hours. Make yourself at home, Orihara-san."

"_Not like I have a fucking choice…"_

He managed to find his way back to his room, which was still empty. Angrily, he flopped down on his bed, scowling at the ceiling. He was disgusted with himself for having to be in this situation. He wanted…a razor. He needed it now. But he knew he wouldn't be getting one anytime soon. Hell, he may be locked up forever, crazy as he is.

"Um…e-excuse me…are you my new roommate?" a quiet voice asked from the doorway. Hachimenroppi turned his head to observe a tall blonde with large glasses and a white scarf. He was wearing a white turtle neck with a black sweater vest over it.

"Yes. You are?"

"Oh! I-I'm so sorr-rry! I'm T-Tsukishima Heiwajima!" he bowed frantically, his scarf ends flailing about in the air as he rose and fell.

"I'm Hachimenroppi Orihara." The raven said, still lying on his bed.

"Ha-Hachi-m-men…" The blonde stuttered, turning pink with embarrassment.

"What's wrong with you? Why do you stutter like that?" Hachimenroppi asked, mildly interested.

"I-I can't help it…sometimes…W-When I'm nervous…I have a m-mild speech im-impediment." Tsukishima fumbled with his words looking downright furious with himself.

"Oh. Well…if it's too hard for you to say…" The raven began.

"Roppi-san. Is that okay for me to call you?" The blonde asked brightly, taking the other man by surprise.

"If you call me that I'm calling you Tsuki." The newly dubbed Roppi said scathingly.

"I'm fine with that!"

"…Fine." What use was there in arguing with the man?

"Hehe. It's easier for me to say anyway…" Tsuki said, beaming.

"You stopped stuttering." Roppi muttered from the bed. The taller man blushed furiously.

"O-oh well…you're…n-not really making m-me nervous anymore!" he said quite fast. The raven observed him, feeling genuinely interested by the now flustered man.

"What are you here for anyway?" he asked.

"Acute stress disorder…I'm a little…high strung…" The blonde said as he sat on his own bed, facing the raven.

"_Really? Couldn't tell." _

"I see." Roppi replied. There was a long silence in which Tsuki fumbled with his scarf.

"You want to know why I'm here, don't you?" The raven asked, amused by the timid other.

"E-eh? Well…I did but I wasn't going to…ask if you didn't wanna tell me…"

"I'm a masochist." He really didn't want to explain anything else yet…

There was a look of complete loss from the blonde.

"It means I like to hurt myself." Roppi sighed.

"B-but…why would you wanna…?" Tsuki still looked completely lost.

"I hate myself. I hate everything. I hate life." The raven counted on his fingers, his head turned slightly to observe the other's reaction.

"You hate everything? Why would you…hate yourself enough to hurt yourself?"

There it was again. Why? _Why, why, why_…WHY.

"I don't know why, Tsuki." The smaller man said quietly. He didn't miss the look of sadness sent his way from the other.

"Eh…well, forget that now! We're having group therapy soon! You should come, it's really fun! And I can introduce you to everyone!" Tsuki said brightly, standing up as he babbled.

"I hate people too." Roppi said absently, making no motions to get up from where he was.

"Do…you hate me?" The blonde asked, adjusting his glasses. Garnet eyes swept up to look at him.

Tsuki was tall, lanky even. He was entirely shy. He was a slob. Roppi was willing to bet he was a klutz too, just from watching him move. But…he seemed to be a genuinely good fellow. One of the few.

"Not yet." Roppi replied smirking slightly. There was a huge smile sent his way from the standing male.

"Well…if you hate people, I can take you to my favorite place!" Tsuki stated.

"Won't you get in trouble for skipping therapy?"

"It's just one session…I want to make you feel welcome. That's my job as your roommate!"

"Okay then." Roppi said, rising from the bed. Once he stood up, he noticed the difference in height. He came up to the blonde's shoulder.

"Let's go, Roppi-san!" The blonde led the way out the door and into the hallway. The raven followed him absently, not really paying attention to where they were going. It was kind of nice having such a genuine man to share a room with. He felt like he wouldn't have to worry about arguments at least.

"Here we are!" Tsuki's happy voice said suddenly as he stopped. Roppi ran into his back at the sudden halt.

"O-oh I'm so sorry, Roppi-san!" The high-strung man said frantically, brushing off the smaller's shoulders.

"It's okay…" The raven muttered, still feeling the other's hands brushing him in apology. "I said it's alright! Stop apologizing!"

"Sorry…" Tsuki murmured again, turning red.

"Are you seriously apologizing for apologizing?"

"…Sorry…."

"You're really something else." Roppi sighed, brushing past the taller man into the room he had been led to. His garnet eyes widened in surprise as he looked around. There were easels mounted all around, paint was in jars on shelves. There were cups filled with graphite, charcoal, and colored pencils.

"You…took me to an art room?" Roppi asked in disbelief.

"It's my favorite room! No one should be coming here till later anyway. They're all in group right now." The blonde said as he went to an easel and flipped the page of the large sketch pad mounted there. "I painted this yesterday!" he smiled, turning the pad so the raven could see it.

There was a painted landscape across the canvas. There were mountains in the distance and trees scattered about. It looked like a photograph.

"You're…amazing!" Roppi said, enthusiasm filling his voice for the first time in ages as he walked to look closer. He ran his hands over the painting, feeling the masterpiece.

"T-thank you…" Tsuki blushed again, hiding his face in the large scarf.

"I'm complimenting you. Don't hide from me." The raven grinned, pulling the scarf down to reveal the flustered man. Their faces were very close together, causing the blush to darken.

Tsuki observed the slender man as his eyes wandered back over to the painting. He had dark red eyes, longish black hair, and very pale skin. He was thin, and kind of short too. His hands were also slender, his fingers kind of long. He wondered idly if the skin covering them was as soft as it looked.

"Did you hear me?" a voice broke his appreciative reverie.

"E-eh?" he yelped, snapping back to reality.

"I asked if you had any sort of training in the past." The raven sighed.

"Oh…no I didn't. I've been painting for as long as I can remember. It calms me down." Tsuki shrugged.

"I love art too. But I'm not much of a painter. I prefer charcoal and graphite on canvas." Roppi said.

"You're an artist too? I wanna see you work!" The blonde said enthusiastically, taking the other by surprise.

"Um…well…I have my book in our room…"

"There's plenty of stuff in here! Draw something now!" Tsuki urged, turning to find a graphite pencil and sketch pad. He found them, and brought them to his roommate, who looked positively uncertain.

"I'm not very imaginative…I need to look at something to draw it…" he admitted, taking the supplies from the taller man. Tsuki frowned as he sat down at a table, inviting the other to sit beside him.

"Then let's find you something to draw! What do you usually sketch?"

"Things I like…I don't get to sketch very often…" Roppi laughed mildly.

"Hmm…I'll find you something-" The blonde cut his sentence short as his roommate reached out to touch his hands, running his fingers over the skin.

"Keep still." Roppi warned, turning the palm over, observing the appendage.

Tsuki was at a loss for words. The skin he had admired earlier was now touching his…and it was as soft as he'd imagined. He kept his eyes locked on the other's face, admiring how the smaller man's eyes seemed to appreciate what they were seeing. Roppi suddenly reached down and picked up the pencil with his right hand, his left still holding up the blonde's palm.

Tsuki's own crimson gaze watched in awe as the raven's slender fingers went to work, sketching out his hand with excruciating detail. Every curve was drawn, every now and then the fingers would rub across the page, smudging and shading accordingly. It was finished rather quickly, but looked entirely realistic. The blonde was amazed.

"And you said I'm amazing! You're just as good as me, even better!" he exclaimed as the raven sat the pad on the table.

"You truly are something else…" Roppi sighed, amazed at the other male's enthusiasm over a simple sketch. He looked down, noting that he was still holding the man's hand in his own. Tsuki's fingers suddenly intertwined around his own.

"You drew me. Well, a part of me. Since you only draw what you like, you must like me right?" The blonde smiled as he rubbed his thumb over the white flawless skin.

"I suppose." Roppi shrugged, pleased by the sudden contact. The taller man's smile widened as he continued to caress the other's hand.

"I like you too, Roppi-san." he whispered genuinely. The raven looked up at him, locking their eyes.

What was with this man? Was he always to touchy feely? Why…was he enjoying the contact? There truly was something about this fumbling blonde he liked. He just didn't know what it was yet. His thoughts were interrupted when Tsuki ran his fingers over the center of his palm suddenly, sending an odd jolt of electricity through his body.

"Nnnn…" he let out quietly, scrunching his eyes closed as he tried to muffle himself. Tsuki chuckled slightly, and repeated the action.

"_Why does this feel so good?" _

The blonde was having his own moment of euphoria, pleased he could cause the other such pleasure. He ran his hand over the skin, leading down to the wrist. He frowned when he felt fabric under the sleeve. There were bandages wrapped over the skin there. He gently lifted the sleeve, observing the wrappings that lead up the entire arm.

"What's this?" he asked quietly, causing the smaller male to open his eyes.

"That's how I show my hatred for myself." Roppi muttered, pulling his arm away. Slowly, he unwrapped the white fabric, revealing the large slashes in the skin. Tsuki's crimson gaze widened.

"Roppi-san…" he said gently as he pulled the arm back within his reach, running his hands over the slashes gently.

"_Now he's going to tell me what everyone else does. How I shouldn't do this. How it's stupid. How I'm stupid…" _Roppi thought dryly, ready to argue.

Tsuki rewrapped the fabric over the wounds carefully, but said nothing. He pulled the sleeve back down, avoiding eye contact. Roppi watched him warily, confused by the actions. Suddenly, he was pulled into an embrace by the gentle man. It was tight, forceful, warm…comforting?

"I'm sorry…." Tsuki whispered gently into the raven's ear. Roppi understood that he didn't mean sorry for the discovery, or sorry that he cut himself. He meant…he was sorry for the events that caused him to do it. Sorry that the raven had to go to such lengths to calm himself. Roppi leaned into the embrace, bringing his own hands up to rest on the blonde's shoulders.

"You're unbelievable…" he muttered, enjoying the feeling of being held.

Tsuki laughed, his shoulders shaking from the force.

"Right back at you." he replied.

_[Something…Just to feel something…Just to feel something…]_

_Right, so the […] are the lyrics, haha. I hope this long chapter made up for the short prologue…Feedback is always appreciated! Review pretty please~!_


	3. Chapter 3

_This chapter is dedicated to ThreeGreenBeans and FallingForWerewolves because they reviewed last chapter! You guys are awesome!_

_Not That Simple_

_Dredg _

_[Remove my hands and feet. Watch me crawl on my stubs. Throw me to the street. Watch me fall on down, head first.]_

Roppi sighed for the tenth time as he was forcefully led to his room again. Tsuki had been dragging him by the hand everywhere for the past hour, taking him from room to room.

"Are you lost?" he finally asked the spectacled man, who turned red.

"N-No! I've been to the art room hundreds of times! I know how to get to our room!" The blonde said quickly.

"Tsuki. You have no idea where we are, do you?" The raven tried again. Finally, they came to a halt.

"I-I'm so sorr-rry Roppi-san! I got us lost!" Tsuki wailed, looking close to tears. His roommate observed him.

"It's alright. We'll figure it out together." Roppi shrugged.

He swore he heard the other man sniffle a little.

Roppi led the way this time, trying to navigate through the halls. He really wished he had paid attention when they were headed to the art room, but he had been careless and let himself zone out instead. He could feel the blonde struggle to keep his pace without falling. Really, this man seemed to be one big oaf. A likeable one though.

"You two! Stop!" a voice called suddenly. The two turned to see a woman with long brown hair and a stern stare.

"Dr. Yagiri…" Tsuki mumbled, looking immensely scared. Roppi just stared at her.

"Tsukishima, I don't recall seeing you in group today. And who's this?" she asked, motioning to the raven.

"H-He's m-my new r-roommate!" The blonde stammered, keeping his hand firmly locked in said roommate's. "I was…showing him a-around!"

She eyed them steadily, saying nothing for a moment.

"Don't miss group again. I expect to see you both there tomorrow. You should go ahead and go to the cafeteria. It's almost dinner." and with that, she was gone.

"Hey. Are you alright? You seem…nervous." Roppi observed as he looked up at Tsuki. The blonde seemed to be breathing very hard.

"I-I'm fine! She…just frightens me…" The blonde admitted quietly. "I thought you were going to get in trouble on your first day…"

"You were worried for me?" The raven was surprised; no one ever worried for him. Well, maybe Izaya. But that man's worry verged on obsession.

"…I…I'm sorry…" Tsuki muttered to the ground. The man must have found his shoes very interesting if all he did was stare at them. Roppi sighed for the eleventh time.

The cafeteria was large, crowded, and a cluster-fuck. There were patients scattered about everywhere, in no clear line. Roppi held onto Tsuki's hand tightly. All the humans in one room were getting to him. He wanted out of there, but didn't want to get his roommate in trouble for disobeying.

"Roppi-san…It'll be okay…" Tsuki whispered gently. He seemed to sense the other's distress. His large hand squeezed the smaller one in comfort.

"Let's just hurry so I can go to sleep…" Roppi replied.

"_A misanthrope surrounded by humans…and they call me the crazy one…" _The raven thought to himself as he was led to a makeshift line by the blonde. He looked around the large room, noting that many were passing him glances too. They must be curious about him because he was new.

'_Great…"_

"Roppi-san, this is Simon! He's our chef here!" The bright voice of the blonde stated suddenly. The raven realized they had made it to the front of the line while he had been zoning out.

"Um…hi." he greeted to the large dark man with bright blue eyes.

"Hello! You eat, yes? Food make you better!" Simon said enthusiastically.

"Food…you're saying if I eat I'll be sane?" Roppi said incredulously.

"Sushi cure sanity! I make you some sushi tomorrow, yes? For now eat this!" and the large man shoveled a ton of rice and what seemed to be shrimp on his plate. Tsuki got the same little speech about why food was important.

"That was…different." Roppi whispered to his roommate as they found a table.

"He's a patient here. They let him work in the kitchen because he was so forceful about food. He promises sushi everyday, but never makes it." Tsuki informed him.

It was obvious to the raven now that everyone in this place was in fact fucking crazy…including himself and his roommate.

"You seem freaked out." The blonde observed him.

"Ah…I…just keep forgetting where I am." The smaller male shrugged, picking at the rice. He felt a hand wrap around his.

"I understand, Roppi-san. It'll be alright when you get used to it."

The raven held his hand in return, feeling comforted by the blonde oaf. A tray was slammed down across from them.

"Hey there, new kid!" The blonde with gold eyes from before said loudly. "I'm Masaomi Kida! Nice to meet you!"

Roppi's first thought? He hated this fucker.

"Hello." he said politely. "I'm Hachimenroppi Orihara."

Another male walked behind the blonde, bowing slightly. He had black hair and bright blue eyes.

"I'm so sorry about him! I'm Mikado Ryuugamine!" he bowed again.

Roppi's first thought? He hated this fucker too.

A girl with glasses appeared behind the two boys. She said nothing, and went ahead and took a seat beside Masaomi. She nodded to Roppi.

"Ah, this is Anri. She doesn't like to talk much." Masaomi said looking at her.

Roppi wasn't too fond of her either. As long as she didn't talk, she could be tolerated though.

"So, Tsukilicious. Why weren't you in group today? Being a naughty Nellie?" Masaomi asked the blonde.

"No! I was showing Roppi around!" Tsuki defended. Three pairs of eyes flicked to the raven.

"What are you here for anyway?" Masaomi asked him rudely.

"Shouldn't you tell me why you're here first? That's common courtesy." Roppi replied coldly.

"Ah, where are my manners? I'm bipolar baby. My meds make me gentle as a lamb though." he grinned.

"Ah, I'm…obsessive compulsive." Mikado said as he put his rice on one side of the plate and the shrimp on the other. "Masaomi! There's an uneven number of shrimp here!" he squeaked suddenly. The blonde sighed, and ate one of them.

Anri continued to stare at her plate of food, as if she wished it would die.

"She's anorexic…" Mikado explained to Roppi. "Anri, if you don't eat they'll put a feeding tube in…" he gently whimpered.

"What reason do you have to be anorexic? You seem skinny enough to me." Roppi said to her. She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"T-Thank you…" she whispered, looking down. She put a tiny shrimp in her mouth.

Masaomi, Mikado, and Tsuki all looked at the raven appreciatively.

"I'm a self abuser." Roppi informed them, keeping his end of the bargain.

"Do you shoot up? We have tons of drug abusers here." Masaomi said.

"No. I've never used drugs. Well, I did shrooms once…but my cousin didn't tell me so I don't guess that really counts." The raven shrugged, putting more rice in his mouth.

"Haha! He didn't tell you? Oh that's hilarious!" The blonde across from him laughed.

"No. He made me tea and…let's just say I don't remember what happened for about 4 hours…" Roppi grinned.

"Masaomi! This chopstick is uneven with this chopstick!" Mikado cried suddenly, interrupting them. Masaomi sighed again, and gave him his own chopsticks.

"I get the feeling you two must be roommates." Roppi said to the two.

"Better than that. We're lovers." The blonde grinned impishly while the raven haired boy blushed.

"Don't tell! If they find out, they'll make us get new roommates! No one else knows how to arrange the pillows right! I'll lose it!" Mikado begged.

"Relax. I won't say anything. It's none of my business how you two live your lives." Roppi said, eating more from his plate. Tsuki looked sideways at him, then back down at his scarf.

"Trust me. It's complicated as hell being with him sometimes. I have to do everything to a certain degree or he flips. It's kinda funny." Masaomi teased.

"Masaomiiii! You're being a bully!" Mikado wailed.

Anri ate a few more bites in silence, then rose from the table.

"If you go throw up I'm cutting off your hair!" Masaomi called after her as she hurried to the door. She shot him a glare, but disappeared without another word.

"Hm. That's self abusing too." Roppi said mildly.

"Yeah…Anri really needs to focus on therapy or she'll risk being put in solitary…" Mikado mumbled, flicking rice off his plate. (It was the wrong size.)

"So this place is co-ed?" Roppi asked.

"Kinda. The girls come here for group therapy and food. They live on the other side of the building though. This place is huge." Masaomi said.

"Everyone here is pretty nice though. Well…not Seiji Yagiri. Stay away from him. Tsuki knows more about that than we do though." Mikado said, still flicking random bits of rice off his plate. His lover was catching them and eating them now.

"Yagiri? Like the doctor?"

"Yeah. She's his sister. She needs to be a patient here too if you ask me. But whatever." Masaomi huffed as rice went over his head. "I wanted that one!" he told his lover.

Roppi looked at the blonde beside him who was eating quietly.

"Who's Seiji?" he asked the male.

Tsuki tensed up considerably.

"He's…really mean…Don't go near him." he said silently. Roppi frowned.

"He bullies you?" he asked.

"He bullies everyone…He's schizophrenic…"

"_If he bullies you in front of me, I'll show him crazy."_

Roppi looked up, scanning the large room. His eyes rested on a brown haired boy that looked a little like the Dr. Yagiri lady. His hair was spiky and uneven. Roppi was willing to bet Mikado would go insane at the unsymmetrical hairstyle.

"I hate his hair!" Mikado hissed, looking where Roppi was.

"_Damn, I wish I had bet out loud…"_

Seiji had his arm around a girl with reddish hair and a scar around her neck. He was laughing at something, holding the girl close. He didn't look all that bad.

"Roppi-san…please don't stare at him. If he comes over here I'm leaving…" Tsuki whimpered, hiding his face in his scarf. Roppi observed him.

"What did he do to you?" he asked the blonde.

"N-Nothing! Just…please…"

The raven frowned, looking back up toward the man known as Seiji.

"_You just earned yourself a spot on my list, pretty boy."_

"Ehm…well, we're going to bed. Goodnight Tsukilicious. Roppi-Toppy." Masaomi waved.

"Toppy?" Roppi asked, confused.

"Oh, you're a bottomy? Whatever you like~."

"Masaomi!" Mikado wailed after him, both of them leaving the room.

"You're blushing, Roppi-san." Tsuki giggled.

"Shut up…" The raven hissed, looking at his plate.

"Let's go back to our room now. I'm kinda tired after today." Tsuki yawned. The raven agreed with him.

They walked into the main room where people were gathered around the television. A nurse stopped them.

"Heiwajima-san, Orihara-san. Here's your nightly medication." she said smiling.

Tsuki took it without question but Roppi stared at her.

"I just got here. How do I already have medication?" he asked her.

"It's to help you sleep." she explained. He glared at her, but took it.

Tonight at least, he wanted to sleep.

In the room, Tsuki fell onto his bed, pushing stuff into the floor. Roppi cringed at the mess, but said nothing.

"I hope I made your first day okay…" The blonde mumbled into his pillow. Roppi smirked at him.

"You made it excellent." he informed the taller man. Tsuki blushed wildly.

"Goodnight, Tsuki."

"Goodnight Roppi-Toppy."

"Tsuki!"

"Roppi-Bottomy?"

"Go to sleep!"

_[It's not that simple…I needed this from the start. To guide my way, to be okay. It's made life simple. I needed this from the start. To wake up…]_

_I hope you guys are enjoying this! I haven't really worked with Masaomi and Mikado before, but I think I did alright. Review pleeeeaaaassseeee! They make me happy!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Breathing Patterns_

_(My Hotel Year)_

_[You'll never know, how you sing while you're asleep. And I'm listening...I'm listening]_

For as long as he could remember, Roppi had never had an easy time going to sleep. No matter how much he tried, he always just tossed and turned restlessly in the bed. Whatever sleeping pills he had been given must have really been strong!

As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was unconscious. He had a dreamless sleep as always. Even in his own mind, he hated showing emotion. He never truly dreamed anymore. So he was _immensely _dissatisfied when he was brought back to the waking world while it was still dark outside.

Blinking irritably, he tried to look around the dark room and find the source that had woken him up. His crimson eyes settled on the form on the other bed in the room, across from him. The lump under the covers was whimpering and tossing about. Sighing, Roppi rose from his own bed and made his way to the bumbling blonde.

"Tsuki!" he hissed, hitting the lump. There was no response.

"Tsuki!" he tried again, hitting harder this time. Still there was nothing.

Roppi observed the male below him, mildly interested. What on Earth was he dreaming about? He smoothed out the covers with his hands, and brushed wild blonde locks off the sleeping man's face. Tsuki leaned into his touch, still whimpering. The raven smirked, genuinely interested now. He ran his hand across the blonde's face, gently brushing his fingers across the skin. Tsuki's hand reached up and found his.

Roppi was shocked with surprise, rooted to where he stood. Tsuki's hand intertwined with his, the large thumb brushing over the spot that had driven him crazy earlier. The raven hissed, drawing in breath as quietly as he could. He couldn't understand why such a simple touch sent such electricity through his body, starting at his hand. His mind went hazy as the blonde continued to caress his hand in his sleep.

"Hah...T-Tsuki...Stop..." he whimpered, hating how submissive his voice sounded. The blonde seemed to smile slightly in his sleep, as he tugged the hand closer to his face, inhaling the intoxicating scent that belonged to his roommate.

_"Well, his dream must've improved."_

Roppi was about to pull away when the blonde poked his tongue through his lips, licking the center of his hand. The electricity doubled.

"Nnnnn...ah...Stop..." he mumbled pitifully as he was pulled closer. One of his knees was on the bed beside the blonde, the other leg was hanging off into the floor. He had to resist the sudden urge he had to fall beside the sleeping man and share his personal space.

"Rrrrrpppiiiii..." Tsuki slurred, inhaling again.

The raven's eyes widened. Was the tall moron dreaming of him? Why would he be? Finally, he successfully managed to pull his hand away, falling back onto the floor in a heap. He was _panting _for fuck's sake!

Immediately, the blonde began to whimper again as he groped the mattress looking for the raven's hand. Roppi sighed loudly, and rose to stride to his own bed. He took his red and black jacket from the chest at the foot of the mattress, and crossed the room again. He placed his jacket into Tsuki's grasp.

The blonde inhaled the fabric, wrapping himself around it. His whining stopped abruptly as he buried his face into the black material.

_"__Is my scent seriously comforting you right now?"_

Scowling, Roppi retreated back to the safety of his own bed, away from those magic hands.

The next time he woke up, it was bright outside. He could tell it was still early though. He looked up to see his roommate looming over him, dressed in a red sweater with the same ridiculous scarf around his neck.

"Roppi-san…It's time for breakfast." He whispered.

The raven tried to roll over and tune the man out, but he was damn persistent.

"Hey! You really need to come with me! Afterwards we can go back to the art room and then we can go to group together and then-"

"Just because I'm your new roommate doesn't mean we have to spend every waking moment together, Tsuki." Roppi grumbled into the pillow.

There was a slight pressure beside him as the blonde joined him on the bed, still hanging off the side but _severely _encroaching into his personal space.

"I…really want you…to come with me…" Tsuki said gently, his hand reaching over to find the raven's.

Roppi sighed loudly, and then turned to face the man, noting how close together their faces were. He didn't miss the blush that was across his bedmate's face.

"Let me get dressed."

Tsuki beamed in response, then hopped off the bed to give him privacy. He stood in the corner, by his own bed, and fumbled with the material around his neck. Then, he looked down at his mass of covers and saw…Roppi's jacket?

How did it get there? Had he snatched it in his sleep? What would Roppi say? Would he think he was a freak? Oh no, no, no! How was he going to hide this? Then his field of vision was invaded by the shorter male, as he strode past him to pick up the jacket.

Tsuki's eyes scanned the raven appreciatively, admiring his…well,_ everything._ He was dressed in a red long sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His collar was a very wide v-neck that revealed just the right amount of alabaster skin. The black jeans he had chosen were rather tight, but fitting in just the right way. His arms were bandaged on both sides, all the way up to the elbow. Then, he pulled the jacket on, covering his addiction from all. All except Tsuki. His bright crimson eyes looked up at his roommate.

"Shall we?" he asked, chuckling a bit at his counterpart's flustered gaze.

They walked to the large cafeteria again, though this time it was mostly empty. Roppi realized that it must have been earlier than he imagined, and they were simply awake before anyone else.

_"__Great. My roommate is an early bird."_

They strode to the front of the line. Greeting Simon who immediately promised them sushi and everything else in the world. Roppi got simple eggs and toast. He gazed over at his roommates plate, and saw…

Well, he would say they were pancakes. Or at least they were supposed to be. The once fluffy cakes were currently drenched with so much syrup that they looked like they were trying to float in the sea of stickiness. Then, the blonde had the _audacity _to ask for more syrup packets. Roppi eyed him steadily as they walked to the same table they had shared the night before.

"You _are _aware that it is entirely too early for such things. You'll be doubled over in pain by noon when your poor stomach explodes." He hissed to the taller male.

"Eh? No, I eat these all the time! I'm a Heiwajima, our stomachs are made of steel!" Tsuki grinned brightly before he stabbed one of the pancakes. Syrup actually shot out of the damn thing.

Roppi ate in silence, occasionally reaching up to absently scratch his arms. The bandages were horribly itchy. He realized that Tsuki was watching him.

"What?" he mumbled to the large ruby eyes that were fixed on him.

Tsuki flushed darker than before, and hurriedly stabbed another helpless pancake, trying to shrug it off. He shoved almost the whole thing in his mouth, syrup dribbling onto his chin. Roppi sighed again, before he reached up and wiped off the excess syrup with his thumb. He brought the appendage to his mouth, and licked the sweet substance off. If he thought the blonde was red before he had another thing coming. He felt like he was sitting next to a fucking tomato.

"Tsuki, what the hell is wrong with you?" he finally asked.

"N-Nothing!" Tsuki lied, continuing with his sweet breakfast. Eventually though, his gaze returned to the beautiful creature beside him. He watched Roppi bring the fork to his mouth with fluid movements, never spilling a thing. Every now and then he would glance at his arms, and scratch them through his jacket. His hands were enchanting, really. Tsuki found he could marvel at everything the raven did, but those hands were just…perfect.

"Tsuki." Roppi said in an exasperated voice, breaking his thoughts.

"Eh?"

"I need my hands to eat."

Blinking, he looked down and saw that he had, in fact, grabbed the man's hands and were holding them in his own. He released one.

"I-I'm so so-sorry, Roppi-s-san!" he stammered. The raven sent him a very amused glance.

"So you release one of them? You think I'm going to sit here and eat with one hand while you hold the other one all morning?" his voice sounded gentle, but his gaze looked…edible.

Edible? What the fuck was he thinking? Roppi was his roommate! His roommate!

"Y-You…only need one…" Tsuki murmured, his gaze retreating to the safety of his scarf. He heard the other male laugh, but he didn't snatch his hand away.

"Do what you want, Tsuki." He said as he chuckled lightly.

The blonde did just that. He held the wonderful appendage close, tracing his fingertips against the skin. He flipped it over, and heard the sharp intake of breath from his roommate as his fingers ghosted the center of his palm.

"Roppi-san…Does it feel good when I do this?" he asked the smaller male as he repeated the action a little rougher.

"Nnnn…Y-Yeah…" Roppi admitted quietly. Only he remembered how dangerously close the fumbling man had come to being sexually assaulted the night before. Izaya had told him once that most people had "turn-on" spots. Of course the blonde had found one of his. The idiot just had to keep pressing his luck though.

"What about this?" he asked as he rubbed all his fingers simultaneously over the center of the palm.

"Hah…T-Tsuki…" Roppi moaned slightly, ripping his hand free. "We're in public!"

The grin covering the taller man's face was almost in danger of reaching his ears.

"You're saying I can do it when we're in private?"

_"__What the-"_

"No! I never said you could do it at all! Keep your hands to yourself!" and he flicked the blonde's forehead rather harshly. Tsuki just giggled.

They made their way back to the art room, Roppi leading the way this time. He memorized every turn, knowing he wouldn't be able to trust the other male. Once they were inside, Tsuki closed the door and looked hopefully at the raven.

"What do you want now?" Roppi asked irritably.

"I'm gonna paint! You should draw something!" Tsuki smiled as he went to his easel and got his paint ready. Roppi went to a stool behind the tall male, where he could watch. He took the sketch pad that was offered to him, and the graphite pencil. He began to loosely sketch when he saw the first stroke of the paintbrush across the canvas.

He watched as the blonde's expert hands traveled across the white material, decorating it with an assortment of colors. An apartment building was created, along with streets filled with cars. There were even tiny people littering the sidewalks. Roppi stared dumbfounded at the beautiful picture.

"Ikebukuro." He breathed. Tsuki turned to him.

"You recognize it! That's where me and my brother's grew up!"

"I live there too…in a building a little further from the one you painted…" Roppi said quietly. Izaya lived in Shinjuku, but always crossed the damn border to visit.

"You're from there too? There are a lot that are here…but many come from other cities too. This is the biggest psychiatric hospital near here, so many people get sent here." Tsuki explained, rinsing out his brushes in the sink.

"Did…you go to Raira?" Roppi asked the male.

"No. I went to a public school…I had…trouble learning, so…" Tsuki's voice trailed off. "My brother's went there though!"

_"__Heiwajima…Heiwajima…Of course!"_

"Shizuo is your brother, right?" Roppi asked, a grin threatening to tear his face in half.

"Yes! My other brother is named Kasuka. I'm the youngest."

Suddenly, Roppi was doubled over in a fit of laughter.

"Eh? What? Is there paint on my face?" Tsuki whined, skimming his hands over his face.

"My- My cousin hates your brother!" Roppi continued laughing, remembering how many 'I hate Shizuo Heiwajima' lectures he had been forced to endure over the years. "Izaya Orihara."

Tsuki's eyes widened comically.

"I-Izaya is your cousin? Oh…I've heard mean things about him…Shizuo really wants to kill him."

"He probably deserves it. Still, small world, huh?" The raven grinned.

"Y-Yeah…Maybe I should leave your last name out when I tell my brother's of my new roommate?"

"Agreed."

They cleaned up and got ready to leave the room so they could go to group. Tsuki looked down at the still opened sketch book the raven had left behind. He lifted it up to put it back in the cabinet when… He noticed the picture.

It was a drawing of _him. _He was standing in front of an easel with a concentrated look on his face as he reached to the side for a different color.

Smiling widely, Tsuki ripped it out and put it in his pocket.

_[And I'm listening, for my name. For my name.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Sorry for the late update! I've been crazy busy as of late._

_Roppi: There's no excuse. You've been working on your damn Shizaya fic!_

_Sachi: Well…It's just m-more popular right now…and I- I could only update one at a time and…_

_Tsuki: Don't you love us too? *puppy face*_

_Sachi: *Rips out heart* Just take the damn thing!_

_Roppi: Review for the next chapter. It'll have group therapy and a little insight on everyone's mental conditions._

_Tsuki: And the more reviews we get, the closer the romance part comes in!_

_Sachi: *Still bleeding* Yes! And the smut!_

_Roppi: Fangirls and their smut…_

_Tsuki: What's smut?_


	5. Chapter 5

_Feel So Close_

_(Calvin Harris)_

_[I feel so close to you right now, it's a force field...]_

Roppi cursed at the fact that the blonde now thought he could intertwine their fingers whenever he chose to. Of course, the raven had never actually told him not to...He had simply said not to touch the center of his palm. Tsuki seemed very much content, walking down the hallway leading to their group therapy. He was swinging their connected hands through the air, rubbing his thumb over the white skin accordingly.

_"It's...kind of nice...being this close to him…"_

Surprisingly, no glances were really sent their way. Everyone was already in the meeting apparently. There were a few stragglers, mostly the elderly patients. They were all too busy staring mindlessly at the television.

"Tsuki, why are there elderly patients here? Shouldn't they be in a separate ward?" he asked the blonde as their hands flew into his line of vision again.

"They have their own ward, but it got flooded last week. They've been sharing this floor with us. It should be fixed soon though. All they really do is watch T.V." Tsuki shrugged.

"Flooded? Surely a place this big can afford to fix such trivial things."

"Nah. They spend all their money on anything _but _this place." The taller man grinned.

They arrived in a large room, a circle of chairs filled the middle space. Most of them were filled already. Roppi's garnet gaze scanned over the sea of faces, recognizing a few. Masaomi grinned at him and Mikado waved him and the fumbling man over, motioning to two empty chairs they had apparently saved. Anri was dressed in overly large sweats, looking at the floor. Everyone else was a stranger except...Seiji.

He had his arm wrapped around the same redhead from the day before. He looked heavily sedated and severely out of it. The teal girl beside him was happily snuggled into his arm, chatting with Anri here and there. Then, an authoritative voice spoke from behind them.

"Tsukishima, take your roommate and find a seat." Dr. Yagiri said roughly. The blonde jumped, his grip on the raven's hand tightening.

"Y-Yes ma'am..." he squeaked, pulling said roommate to the chairs beside Masaomi and Mikado.

The brunette woman walked to the chair in front of the circle, facing all of them. She cleared her throat.

"Today we have a newcomer. I expect you all to be on your best behavior and make him feel as welcome as all of you felt on your first day. Since he's new, I want you to introduce yourselves." she sighed, sounding very un-enthused. Beside her, Masaomi stood up first.

"Masaomi Kida. We met last night of course. I'm 19 years old and I'm bipolar as fuck." he grinned at the raven, then sat down.

"Masaomi! Watch your language!" The doctor hissed.

"I'm Mikado Ryuugamine. I'm also 19 years old and I'm...obsessive compusive...and..." he reached out suddenly to pull his chair more to one side, closer to his lover. Then he frowned, and tugged it more the other way. The male beside him shook his head and pulled the chair more toward himself again, motioning for his lover to sit down.

"I'm Tsukishima Heiwajima. I-I'm 20 years old and...I have p-panic disorder..." The blonde sank further into his scarf with every word he spoke.

"I'm Erika Kawisawa! I'm 22 years old and I have severe shared psychotic disorder! Walker and I are only here for awhile though. Soon we'll transcend into the mangaverse and become one with the comic panels~!" This girl was wearing a hat and a very long jacket. She nudged the male beside her.

"I'm Walker Yumasaki. I share her psychotic disorder and I am pleased to meet you! May you transcend with us from this hellhole!" his closed eyes said quite clearly that he wasn't all there.

"I'm Anri Sonohara...I'm...anorexic with...bulimic tendencies...Oh, and I'm 18 years old..." she glaced at the raven through her glasses, but lowered her gaze again quickly.

There was another redhead in the room, sitting beside Anri. She had teal eyes and her hair spread down her back. She took out a PDA and typed on it quickly, shoving it in Roppi's face when she was done.

_[I'm Celty Sturluson, and I'm too old to remember. I'm not human. I'd talk to you, if I had a head.] _Roppi blinked as he read the small writing, glancing up at her to determine whether or not she was being serious with him. Her teal eyes said quite plainly that she truly believed this delusion.

"I'm Kyohei Kadota...I'm 24 years old and I have schizoid personality disorder. Why I'm here is a long story though." a man wearing a bandana said boredly. His gaze was resting on the ceiling.

"I'm Saburo Togusa. I'm 24 years old and I have histrionic personality disorder. I don't want to be here and I MISS MY FUCKING VAN!" he snapped toward the brunette woman. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Saburo, you need to watch those little outbursts of yours if you want to see your van anytime soon." she hissed.

Next was the other redhead girl.

"I'm Mika Harima. I'm 18 years old, and there's nothing wrong with me! The Lord has healed me with his glorious light!" she said enthusiastically, practically popping her eyes out of her head when she focused on the raven. "You have been touched by a dark spirit, newcomer! Repent, and the Lord shall save you!"

_"Great. Jesus freak." _

"No thanks." he told her, settling back into his chair beside Tsuki.

"I'm Seiji Yagiri. I'm 20 years old and I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I don't feel like telling you too much, since I don't really like the look of you." The spiky haired male said flatly.

"Seiji!" Dr. Yagiri hissed at him. "Don't start in on him already!"

Roppi looked him directly in the eye, narrowing his crimson gaze.

"Agreed. I fucking hate you too."

There was a collective gasp around the room, Tsuki's being the loudest. He gripped the raven's hand tightly, shaking his head furiously. Masaomi was giggling and the doctor looked like she wanted to spit flames. Seiji glared hard at him.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair.

"I don't like to repeat myself. I know your kind. I've met your kind. I've dealt with people far more threatening than you. Just based on your personality I can already tell I hate you. Not to mention your horribly unsymmetrical hairstyle." Roppi said calmly.

There was a muffled noise of agreement from Mikado, who was still pushing his chair this way and that. The two males glowered at eachother from the different sides of the room. Finally, Dr. Yagiri cleared her throat.

"Before you start making enemies, tell everyone about yourself." she sighed to the raven.

"I'm Hachimenroppi Orihara. I'm 20 years old and I'm a masochist. I'm severely misanthropic, and I don't play well with others. I hate most people and things. That's about it." he shrugged, still clutching the blonde's hand.

"Based on those bandages I'd say it's worse than that." Erika blurted across from him.

The raven realized one of his sleeves was pulled up a little past his wrist, revealing the fabric.

"Haha, so you're a suicide case? I knew you looked emo as shit." Seiji growled at him. Tsuki squeaked, leaning closer to the raven.

"At least I have enough manners not to blurt things out from across the room when no one even cares what I have to say." Roppi said, still entirely calm.

Masaomi was laughing freely now, joined by Kadota and Saburo. Erika was giggling into Walker's shoulder. Anri looked at her shoes, her lips twitched upwards. Mikado stopped fumbling with his chair, and looked at Roppi incredulously. Celty played with her PDA. Tsuki was whimpering into his scarf.

"Stop talking to him like that just because you're a sinner! You're jealous of his holiness in the eyes of God!" Mika squealed at him, wagging her finger through the air.

"Why don't you take your bible and shove it up your-" Roppi began.

"Out! Now! Therapy is over today!" Dr. Yagiri shouted over all of them, pointing to the door. The group rose collectively, Roppi dragging the blonde. He looked back to Seiji who gave him a wicked grin. He returned the expression, his eyes flashing dangerously at the spiky haired menace.

_"Challenge accepted."_

He led the blonde back to their room, watching as the man started hyperventalating into his scaf.

"Oi, what is wrong with you?" he asked the tall man incredulously, unsure of what to do.

"M-Me? What's wrong with _you?_ I told you not to talk to him!" Tsuki wailed, breathing heavily into the white fabric.

"He started it." Roppi said childishly. Tsuki snapped his head up, crimson eyes filled with worry. He closed the distance between them and pulled the shorter male against his chest in a tight hug.

"Please, Roppi-san...Please don't worry me anymore...I don't want...anything to happen to you..." he whimpered, trying to collect his breath.

"Why are you worried anyway? It's my business. Besides, I can handle myself." Roppi muttered, leaning into the crushing hold.

"Your...business...is my business..." Tsuki whispered, his lips at the raven's ear. Roppi shuddered involuntarily.

"T-Tsuki...What...is up with you...today?" The raven ground out, trying to control his traitorous voice.

The blonde pulled back, looking deep into his eyes. Crimson locked into crimson, both shades darkening as they stared into each other. Then...

Tsuki pressed his lips to Roppi's.

_[And there's no stopping us right now…I feel so close to you right now.]_

* * *

_Cliff Hanger, hanging from a clifffffff! And that's why he's called Cliff Hanger! (Review to see the next chapter~!)_


	6. Chapter 6

_Shut Me Up_

_(Mindless Self Indulgence)_

_[I can't wait for you to knock me up! In a minute, minute. In a fucking minute!)_

There were hands gripping his face. There was a chest against his chest. There...were lips on his lips. Roppi blinked, unsure of whether or not this was really happening. Weakly, he placed his hands on the blonde man's shoulders, trying to push him away. Tsuki responded by pulling him closer, moving his lips in a silent rhythm. The raven had to concentrate hard on why this wasn't a good idea...But those soft lips were making concentration hard.

Hesitantly, he pushed back against the soft lips, acting purely on impulse. Tsuki groaned happily, and parted his lips, about to ask for access when…Roppi pulled away.

The raven was looking up at him through dark lashes, his red eyes smoldering and dark with lust. He brought his hands up to Tsuki's face, tracing his lips with a thoughtful expression in his eyes.

"Do you know what 'misanthrope' means, Tsuki?" he asked quietly, his voice breathy.

"N-No…" The blonde said, suddenly nervous about his rash decision.

"It means 'hater of humanity'. I hate humans. I hate me. So, in theory, I must hate you too, seeing as you're human." Roppi breathed, still not trying to move away.

"I-If you hate me…I don't know…what I'll do…" Tsuki whimpered, afraid of rejection. He was used to it of course. Everyone thought he was an idiot and avoided the accidents he caused with his clumsiness. But Roppi…just had a spark about him. Tsuki couldn't resist at least going for it.

_"__No regrets…" _he told himself.

"I said, 'in theory'. It seems that even with your affiliation with the human species, I can't hate you. But I never said I liked you either. So you just kissing me out of nowhere was a very bold move. Especially for someone with a panic disorder." Roppi explained, his arms resting on the blonde's shoulders.

"Y-You think so? My therapist keeps telling me to be bold…but it's really hard sometimes!"

"Tsuki, while I admire your attempt at getting close to me, I must decline your feelings." The raven said, shattering the taller man's hope.

"B-But why…?"

"I'm not good for anyone to want in that way. I will continue to self-destruct, and I will take you down with me. I can tell you that I won't, but I know I will. That's just the kind of heartless bastard I am."

"I don't care! I'll self-destruct with you! I-I never…wanted anything so bad before…please just…give me a chance…to get close to you." His garnet gaze bored into Roppi's, begging for a chance.

"Tsuki…you just met me. Where is this sudden infatuation coming from?"

The blonde rested his large hands against the raven's slender hips, his brow furrowed with thought.

"I…just really like you. How you speak your mind. How you're so neat and tidy. How you draw. I like you enough to know that…I want to be more than roommates."

"I don't think you know what you want. You just get along with me, and that makes you think of romance. I like you to an extent, but that's asking a lot from me when I just moved in here. I'm…truly sorry." Roppi whispered the last part, since he had never really used the word before. He had told Izaya once that he was a 'sorry piece of shit', but that didn't seem to count.

"You like me?" Tsuki's gaze was bright again.

_"__Wha-That's all he heard?"_

"To an extent." Roppi repeated.

They looked at each other, both grinning a bit. Tsuki with happiness and Roppi with humor. This blonde was just too funny.

The door opened, and in popped the over-excited blonde known as Masaomi.

"Oi! Tsukilicious! Roppi-Toppy! Come to the art room with us!" he said enthusiastically, pointing to his boyfriend behind him.

"N-Now?" Tsuki whimpered, afraid of losing the moment.

"Yes, now! Dinner's not for hours, group is over, and I got permission from Dr. Kishitani as long as we put everything up! Now come on!"

Tsuki looked at Roppi's expression. The raven's lips were twitched upwards, his gaze focused on the two men outside.

"We're coming." He said, breaking his silence.

Masaomi grinned and then exited the room, heading for the art room. Roppi made to follow them, but was held back by Tsuki.

"Roppi-san…Will you at least think about what I said?" he asked quietly, his face miserable. This was exactly why the raven hated feelings! They complicated things!

"I will, I will. I think time with your friends will be good for you. I know if I don't go, you won't either." Roppi sighed, leading the way.

He tried to ignore the hand that slipped into his.

When they opened the door, they were greeted with an awful picture. Masaomi was drawing on a very large sketchpad, shading what looked like…A bunch of stickmen killing each other. Some of the stickmen were holding knives, others guns. They were wearing yellow scarves around their necks…well, the ones that had heads were. His whole station was a mess; pencils were scattered everywhere.

Beside him, Mikado's station was neat and tidy. His supplies were lined up in a delicate order from tallest to shortest. His sketchpad was…empty. It consisted of a line that he kept erasing and re-drawing.

Roppi strode to the cabinet, pulling out the same pad he had used earlier as well as the same pencil. He sat on a stool far away from the others, hoping the blonde would stay with his friends.

Tsuki looked over at him, huffed, and went to stand beside Masaomi. If the raven needed space, he would grant it. He got his paint ready, hoping that the process would alleviate the stress he was feeling. But what would he paint? He looked over at the raven.

Roppi was sitting cross-legged, his pencil working furiously. Every now and then, he would bring the tip to his lips, in thought. Tsuki watched him use his fingers to smudge the graphite around the page.

Ah! He knew what he would paint! Not an actual picture, but a feeling. A feeling he wanted to feel again and again. He spread the colors he would use on the dish, mixing a few here and there. His large hands went to work, creating his desires over canvas.

"Damn! My stickmen look janky! Mikado, what do you think?" Masaomi wailed suddenly, his paper so thick with mutilated stickmen there was almost no white left. The other male glanced over.

"They look dead enough to me." He said, adding another line to the one he had only just completed.

"Maybe your lines should connect to my stickmen~." Masaomi purred, nuzzling into his lover's neck.

"No. Your picture is filthy." Mikado sighed, but leaned into the hold.

"Hmm…Well, my _hands _can connect here." The blonde tried again, lowering his hands to brush along the blushing male's sides.

"Masaomi! Tsuki and Roppi are in here!" Mikado disapproved, swatting the hands away.

"Ughhhhh. Fine. Time to kill more stickmen." Masaomi sighed, moving his pencil almost angrily over the paper now.

"Masaomi…Did you take your medication today?" Tsuki asked him then, leaning over to view the obscene picture.

"No. I needed a day off from the fucking sedatives." The golden blonde hissed, stabbing his pencil into the paper now. Tsuki looked pleadingly over at Mikado, who waved his hands dismissively.

"Relax. He won't skip more than a day. He's done it before. Just don't make him mad."

Masaomi laughed loudly then, setting the pencil in the cup and ripping his picture to shreds.

"Me? Don't make Roppi-Toppy over there mad! Did you see how threatening he looked when he was talking to Seiji? Such a beast~."

Roppi glanced over, but then went back to his picture. Tsuki shook his head sadly.

"He made enemies with the worst guy here on his second day. I'm afraid for him." He kept his voice low, so the raven wouldn't hear him.

"I can see why. After what Seiji did to _you._" Mikado hummed, successfully drawing another line.

"Yeah…I almost killed the bastard myself after that." Masaomi agreed angrily.

"I'm not worried about it anymore. Not about myself anyway…I just want…Roppi-san to be alright…" Tsuki blushed, adding more color to his ever expanding picture.

"Ooooh. Tsukilicious has a crush!" Masaomi whispered happily. "He is pretty. If you strike out, I bet I can convince him to do a three way!"

"Eh? No! That's too weird!" Tsuki wailed, his whole face consumed by red.

"You are aware I can hear everything you're saying?" Roppi's voice drifted over, sounding as bored as ever. All three males jumped.

"No. But since you did hear, would you consider the three way?" Masaomi tried.

"Maybe. I'd need to be drunk first. Shrooms may help your cause. Like I said, I lost 4 hours of my life last time I tried them." Roppi shrugged.

"Roppi-san! Don't encourage him!" Tsuki whined over to the smaller male, still sketching away.

"Three is an uneven number. It would have to be a four way." Mikado interjected into the conversation.

"Ah, I forgot you can't do things that aren't even…Alright, Tsukilicious. Looks like you're in." Masaomi grinned.

"No way!"

"Are you saying you don't find any of us attractive?"

"I didn't say that! I just don't want to have sex with you two!" Tsuki clamped a hand over his mouth, immediately realizing what he said. He shrank into his scarf like a turtle.

"Heh. Too easy, Tsukilicious." Masaomi clapped him on the back, heading for the door. "You kids play nice now."

Mikado finished his perfectly symmetrical square, and followed his lover out of the room. Tsuki was left alone with the raven.

Roppi sighed, and rose from his spot to stretch. He felt the other male's crimson eyes on him, scanning over his body. Really, what an overly hormonal mess the male was. He walked over to the blushing blonde, pulling his scarf down to reveal his face. Grinning, he looked over to the canvas the blonde was working on.

It was an array of colors, all swirling together. It took up the entire canvas, but wasn't in any clear pattern. It was…beautiful. Abstract and beautiful. Roppi admired it, skimming his eyes over it appreciatively.

"This…is breathtaking. What is it? An abstract piece?" he asked, leaning closer.

"It's…what I saw…when I kissed you…" Tsuki mumbled, trying to retreat back into the safety of the scarf. Roppi's eyes widened, and he turned from the piece to observe the tall male.

Sure, he wasn't great with people at all. But if this man seriously had such a…thing for him, he should at least see where it led. Orihara's were known for waiting and watching. In Izaya's case, it was instigating. But whatever. He would see where this infatuation led. If it was to something serious, he would cut it off before the blonde got too hurt. Even if he didn't really want a relationship with the man…he did feel an attraction there. He wanted to protect him. Especially from himself.

There was a reason he was in an insane asylum after all.

"So, this is what you see when you kiss me?" he purred, looking directly at the blonde now.

"Y-Yeah…" Tsuki whimpered, sinking lower. Roppi's hands reached out and tugged his scarf down.

"Ready to see it again?" he asked, leaning forward while he stood on his toes. The connection was simple, soft. But it helped ignite the fire that would eventually burn both men to ashes.

* * *

_Sachi: It's a relief to write this happy chapter after the sad one I wrote last night on my other story…_

_Roppi: Are you saying this fic will be happy?_

_Sachi: Nah, I'm too good at drama~! Plus, come on! Lovers in a mental institution! That screams angst!_

_Tsuki: *shrinks into scarf*_

_Sachi: Reviews are welcomed with open arms and a bottle of rum!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Iindesuka_

_(Radwimps)_

_[Is it okay, is it okay, is it okay for me to like someone this much? Is it okay, is it okay, is it okay for me to believe in someone this much?]_

Tsuki and Roppi walked to the cafeteria hand in hand. It was noisy and crowded all over again. The raven found he actually missed the early morning, when it was just him and the blonde. They walked to stand in line, occasionally casting glances at each other.

Tsuki was happier than he had ever been. He had been accepted by the raven, even if it wasn't in a relationship. Roppi had kissed him in the art room. Even though it was a simple press of the lips, it was a start. After a few moments of silence, he had suggested they go to get dinner. Roppi had nodded, agreeing with him, and linking their hands together. Tsuki could've died happy then and there.

"What's for dinner tonight, Simon?" The blonde asked the dark man once they reached the front of the line.

"Soup! And rice too, yes? You eat rice always here. Nothing like Russia. We eat anything that no eat us." Simon guffawed, ladling soup into their bowls.

"Rice is a delicacy here. Besides, it goes with everything." Tsuki shrugged, bowing in thanks.

"You too scrawny. Eat more! Food make you better!" Simon said to Roppi, giving him extra rice. The raven raised his eyebrows, and smirked in response, also bowing slightly.

They made their way to the table where Masaomi and Mikado were already sitting. Both males were engaged in a conversation.

"I never even noticed such things until I met you. Now I notice it everywhere." Masaomi was saying, slurping soup into his mouth.

"I can't believe you never noticed. It's simple logic." Mikado responded.

"Never noticed what?" Tsuki asked as he sat down, Roppi right beside him.

"How everything in our room is arranged to a certain angle, facing slightly away from the window. When I moved in, it looked like a regular room to me. But now I notice it, so I like to angle my stuff that way too." Masaomi said.

"If it faced the window, the sun would be too bright. Stuff that faces the sun gets covered in dust. Dust is filthy. Filth is disgusting. Disgusting means Masaomi would have to grab what he didn't want me to throw away." Mikado added, picking at his soup.

"Neat freak over here refuses to let our room get even slightly messy." The golden eyed male waved his hand dismissively.

"Haha, Roppi-san is neat too." Tsuki said, nudging the male with his elbow gently.

"Yes. I'm thinking of letting Mikado arrange your side of the room for you." Roppi threatened.

"Wha- No! I'll clean it, I promise!" The blonde wailed, hurrying with his food. He literally swallowed the entire bowl of soup and dumped his rice in Roppi's bowl as he rose from the table and ran to the room.

"...I was only joking..." Roppi said, laughing quietly as he ate his own soup slowly. The other males observed him.

"Roppi-Toppy, you know how he feels for you, don't you?" Masaomi asked him seriously.

"Of course. He's made it very obvious." The raven said, setting his spoon down and crossing his fingers together.

"Well...we've sorta been...you know, protecting him for awhile...He's really nice and that makes people walk all over him...So just..."

"You think I'll do that to him?" Roppi asked, his voice and his expression blank.

"No. That's just it. I know the only reason you don't like Seiji is because of how scared Tsuki is of him. I think you feel the same for him as he does for you." Masaomi said, still entirely poker-faced.

"Not to mention that even though you say you hate humans, you let him throw himself all over you." Mikado interjected, resuming his flicking of the rice.

"...Tsuki is different..." Roppi said quietly.

"Indeed he is. Maybe just different enough for you to be what he needs." Mikado mumbled, his chopsticks waving through the air as he tossed bits of rice to the side.

"Which is?" The raven asked.

"A lover. Someone to take care of him. Even if you both are locked in a mental institution, you both need some sort of stability."

"Mikado...you just hit me with rice..." Masaomi huffed. "But yeah, you both seem right for each other. Just...be good to him. He's been through a lot."

Suddenly, it dawned on Roppi that he truly knew nothing about the blonde, aside from his disorder and his brother's names. He knew nothing of how he ended up here, or how long he had been here.

"Mikado, how long have you been here?" he asked the blue-eyed male.

"3 years, 24 days, 16 minutes, and 33 seconds."

"...And you, Masaomi?"

"2 and a half years."

"And Tsuki?"

"4 years."

* * *

Roppi walked into their room, amused at the mess he was presented with. The blonde had pulled all of his belongings out and seemed to be having a hard time organizing them.

"Ah, Roppi-san! I'm trying, really!" he wailed, tossing random papers into the air.

"Tsuki, you are aware I was kidding? If you don't want to clean, you don't have to." Roppi said, walking over to sit beside the blonde.

"B-But...I don't want to be a sloppy roommate..."

"Fine. Then I'll help you." The raven said, gathering the pieces of paper.

Together, they ruffled through the piles of filth. Roppi folded the blonde's clothes, and sat them in the chest at the foot of the bed. Tsuki worked on his papers, putting his drawings away in the drawer under the desk. He flopped back on his bed, sighing happily.

"Ah, I haven't cleaned in forever!" he sang, grinning up at the raven who was sitting on the foot of his bed.

"I can see that. Mikado told me you've been here for four years. Did you not clean at all in that time period?"

"...Not really. I was glad to...be able to be messy for a change...You know, away from people...You're my first roommate..." Tsuki admitted sheepishly.

"Why is that?"

"I...I had severe anxiety around people...So I was placed in a private room...But after the therapy I got lonely...So now that I've proven I can handle people, they let me have a roommate. I guess...that's why I'm so clingy towards you..."

"What caused you to be placed in here, Tsuki?" Roppi prompted gently, lying beside the tall male.

"I-If I tell you...Will you tell me?" Tsuki asked, rolling over on his side to make room and face the smaller male.

"Sounds fair."

"Alright...Well, my parents...were really bad parents. My brother, Shizuo, raised Kasuka and me. My mom was always drunk and my dad...was really abusive. I remember he used to hit me just for talking...

So one day, mom got reeeaaalllyyy hammered...She started yelling at dad for never being around and accusing him of cheating on her and stuff...and he went berserk. He started banging her head against the wall and...I heard a cracking noise and mom didn't move anymore..."

Roppi placed his hand in the blonde's, squeezing gently. Obviously this was very personal for the male to talk about. Tsuki clung to his hand, basking in the warmth it provided.

"Shizuo and Kasuka were at school when it happened. I was home because I was sick and had a fever. So dad ran out of the house and I never saw him again. We found out later that he was caught and placed in prison. Shizuo won't allow me to visit him, not that I want to. I stayed in that house with mom...staring at her dead body until my brothers got home. I was 7."

His garnet eyes were filled with tears as he spoke. Absently, he brushed them away with his free hand before he continued.

"That's when my severe anxiety started. I was always quiet, because I was afraid of getting hit...But when I was in crowds, I would feel like they were all like dad. If I spoke, I was afraid they would all hit me at once. So I went a very long time without ever saying a word. Shizuo started taking me to therapy when he got old enough to act as a legal guardian. We had the government checking in on us every now and then, and I spent a little while in a foster home with Kasuka. But Shizuo got a job when he turned 16 and they allowed us to live in our parent's house together...I was 12 when Shizuo was placed as legal guardian."

"Middle school must've been awful." Roppi mused, rubbing his thumb against the blonde's hand.

"It was. Everyone picked on me because I was so quiet. Those years...were hell...But it was all alright for awhile. I put up with it all the way until high school...When I turned 16, I was in class one day and these bullies kept throwing paper at me. I ignored them like always, but...after class, they cornered me. Public school isn't as strict about bullying as private school, so I knew nothing would be done if I told. So, I prepared for the beating...but then, something happened.

I pictured all of them with my dad's face. The same one he wore when he killed mom...and I saw mom in the corner, pleading for me to do something...So I did something...When I came to, they were all unconscious and I was in the hospital. The doctors told Shizuo that I suffered a mental breakdown, and had PTSD from the incident where I was little...One of the bullies had a really bad head injury, and was on life support for a few days...

When he died, I was faced with two choices. I could either go to prison for murder, or come here and seek treatment. The judge said he would check in on me and when I was well, he would see about shortening my sentence since I killed in self-defense...But I know deep down that I'm...a murderer..." Tsuki finished, whimpering quietly. He instinctively wrapped his arms around the raven, pulling him close against his chest.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety disorder mean it wasn't your fault Tsuki...You're too gentle to do such a thing on your own. I don't think you're a murderer." Roppi said gently, resting his head against the other's neck. Tsuki inhaled his scent deeply.

"Well, either way it ruined my life. I haven't been here for 4 full years yet...It'll be four years a few days before Christmas..."

"I hate Christmas." Roppi huffed.

"Me too." Tsuki agreed. "So...why are you here?"

Roppi sighed loudly, his own story seeming entirely insignificant after learning of the other male's.

"My dad left when I was born. My mom was a drug addict. So I spent my whole life babysitting her and watching her kill herself. Izaya and his sisters were really the only family I ever had. His parents gave us money sometimes, but mom just used it for drugs. We lived in a really tiny apartment together...

I got accepted into Raira, and Izaya's parents helped me pay for the fines and stuff. Things got worse when high school started...I hated it. I hated those rich kids and their made up little problems. I was horribly antisocial, so I kind of made it to where I just blended in with the background. I never had any friends, besides Izaya.

Then, my third week of school, I came home and found mom hanging from the ceiling. She had kicked a chair out from under her and killed herself. I called the ambulance and everything, but it was too late. So then, I was on my own."

"The...government didn't help you?" Tsuki asked, eyes wide.

"I didn't want help, Tsuki. I wanted...to be left alone. That's when I started cutting myself. It calmed me down. The pressure I felt would be released and...it felt really good...So I just did that for a few years. But after high school, I had to provide for myself. I got a job at a coffee shop.

One day, I was feeling really unstable, but I went to work anyway. This customer was being a real dick, so I threw his coffee cup at him and it burned him really bad and I got fired. I went home still really pissed off about it, and took it out on myself. I cut really hard and tore my arms to shreds but...I cut too hard and...I blacked out from blood loss..."

"Were...you trying to commit suicide?" Tsuki asked quietly.

"I...I don't know...My body moved on its own. Now though, that I think back, I guess I was trying to kill myself...Anyway, Izaya came over because he went by my job and they told him what happened and he was coming to tease me about my temper. Instead he found me bleeding to death in the floor, and he called the ambulance. They saved me, and put me here. Apparently, I'm a hazard and can't be trusted to live alone." Roppi hissed.

There was silence between the two men, both thinking about the other's story. Tsuki spoke first.

"I guess...neither of us is really healthy..."

"It shows by where we are..." Roppi agreed, laughing bitterly.

"At least...it brought us together..." Tsuki smiled genuinely, placing his forehead against the raven's. Gold mixed in with black, as their hair mingled together.

"Yeah...At least it did that..." Roppi smirked, connecting their lips again.

It started out the same as their other kisses, innocent and gentle. But, as the blonde sat up a little, it became something else. He towered a little over the raven, keeping their lips together. Roppi tilted his head, parting his lips in search of a better angle, when he found his mouth invaded by the blonde's tongue.

Roppi accepted the roaming muscle, moving his own against it heatedly. Tsuki moaned slightly, crawling on top of him and devouring his mouth. His hands found the raven's, and he pushed against the male's palms simultaneously, sparking the electricity between them.

"Hahhhhh...T-Tsuki..." Roppi groaned, biting the male's lip in retaliation. He was becoming a hot mess under the strong blonde. All he could think to do, was search for the other man's 'turn-on' spots. He broke the connection between their mouths and clamped down on the blonde's earlobe, nibbling the flesh between his teeth.

"Nnnnn..." Tsuki let out, moving to abuse the alabaster neck below him as his hands continued to assault the raven's palms. He favored a spot on the collar bone he discovered, causing the other man to cling to him for dear life. Since Roppi still had his earlobe in his mouth, he got a good low moan directly in his ear, the raven's breath blowing into it.

Roppi grabbed the blonde's face, moving it to heatedly connect their lips again. The kiss was as steamy as the one before, quickly becoming more tongues and teeth than anything else. Their eyes locked when they parted for breath, both panting slightly. Tsuki brushed raven bangs from the other's forehead, placing his lips there gently.

"Roppi-san...does this mean you'll give me a chance?" The blonde asked hopefully, his eyes still dark with want.

"It does mean that. Otherwise I would've already pushed you off, stupid." Roppi huffed, removing his hands from the larger male's. Instead he placed them on the man's back.

"I-I really...would like it...if you slept over here with me tonight..." Tsuki mumbled, his face turning red.

"How do you expect me to fit in this little bed with you? I'd have to sleep on top of you."

"...I'm okay with that...But actually I was thinking I could pull your bed over here and connect them." The blonde explained.

"It's going to be too heavy to just lift it."

Tsuki stood from the bed, walking over to the raven's. He placed both hands at the foot of the twin bed, and lifted it in the air. He brought it to the other side of the room and placed it beside his own bed, connecting them to make a larger space. Roppi stared at him dumbfoundedly.

"...Izaya was right...Heiwajima's have crazy strength..." he muttered to himself. The blonde grinned, and moved to rest beside him on the now larger bed. Despite the larger space, he still invaded the raven's personal space, holding him around the waist and tangling their legs together.

"Goodnight, Roppi-san." The blonde grinned, kissing him gently on the lips before he settled into his pillow.

"Goodnight, Tsuki..." The raven smirked, relaxing into the hold and moving his face to rest against the broad chest.

Maybe...this wouldn't be so bad after all...to let the man get close to him…

It seemed to come naturally.

_[It's okay, it's okay, if it's the person you've chosen, if it's the person you love, if it's the person you desire.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Ah, I love Radwimps~! There are actually 2 very good Shizaya videos on Youtube with Radwimps songs. One is this one "Iindesuka" and the other is to "Order Made". Anywho, I updated so soon because I got such an overwhelming response to last chapter! Also, I know it's a little unusual to have a story in which Tsuki is the dominant one...but let me explain my logic! See, in the entire Shizaya and their alternates business, there's really only one couple in which I can see an Orihara topping...And that's Tsugaru and Psyche. The reason being because Psyche is so cunning and Tsugaru is so calm. (Plus a doujinshi I read in which Psyche was dominant and I loved it so much that it ruined dominant Tsu-chan for me.) With Tsuki and Roppi, I imagine Roppi being the uke because he loves pain so much. We all know the one on the receiving end gets the worst of the pain. (Tis nature's way.) So yeah, that's all for that overly-explanatory explanation. :D_

_Roppi:...You think Psyche is dominant? Are you on crack?_

_Sachi: No! I don't need such things to be delusional! _

_Tsuki: Um...I have no clue what we're discussing...Review please~!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Liar (It Takes Two)_

_(Taking Back Sunday)_

_[I'm an addict for dramatics, I confuse the two for love]_

Roppi was lying in the larger bed, wondering how he arrived in the position he found himself currently in. He had fallen asleep rather quickly, but woke up far too soon. It was daylight outside, but it was early. Too early. There were birds chirping and the air seemed to radiate life and happiness.

How horrible.

Tsuki was still asleep, wrapped around the raven like a blanket. He refused to let the man get too far away from him, even in his sleep. Roppi had tried to maneuver his way from under the blonde, but was ultimately pulled back with a tug and a whimper from the other. Giving up, the raven fell back into the broad chest.

He stared at the ceiling, thinking back to the night before. He couldn't believe the blonde had killed someone. Even in self-defense, it seemed...so uncharacteristic of him. But then again, a person under a delusion was capable of many things. He had suffered enough with his mother to know that. The drugs would often send her into flying rages, yelling that someone was after her. She had probably hung herself during one of those delusions. He saw her lifeless stare for a moment as he stared at the ceiling. He shuddered involuntarily.

Tsuki mumbled something in his sleep that sounded suspiciously like 'Roppi-san', and he furrowed his eyebrows. Roppi looked up at him, curious of the sudden dream change. The blonde started whimpering again, his legs kicking under the blankets.

"Shhh. Shh, you're alright." Roppi said gently, brushing blonde locks away from the sweaty forehead.

"Not...me...Roppi...san..." The tall man whined.

"What about him?" The raven pressed, interested that the man talked in his sleep.

"Danger...Danger..."

"From?"

Then Tsuki shot up, away from the mattress. He was panting heavily, his hands reaching up to tug the scarf away from his neck as he gasped for breath.

"Tsuki? You alright up there?" Roppi asked from below.

"A-Ah, R-Roppi-san...Just a nightmare...Thank goodness..." The blonde whispered, falling back beside the other male.

"I'm guessing I died in your nightmare?" The raven inquired. Tsuki tensed considerably at the words.

"Don't...say that...You just got hurt..."

"By whom?"

"It doesn't matter! I-It was just a dream..."

Sighing, Roppi moved his hands up to help remove the rest of the white material on his roommate's neck. He paused when he saw...scars covering the flesh.

"Tsuki...What the hell happened here?" he asked, suddenly very distraught.

The blonde moved his hands up to cover the healed-over wounds, sitting up again.

"Nothing! Forget you saw them!"

Roppi frowned, and sat up with him, pulling the hands away. There were jagged marks over the neck, going mostly up the sides. They connected in the back, under the blonde mop of hair. Only the front was un-marked.

"Who...did this?" The raven's voice was laced with rage. Only someone else could've inflicted wounds that connected so perfectly together. Unless the clumsy oaf had somehow managed to train himself to carve with a knife without having to see it.

"No one! Just...drop it please..." Tsuki whined.

"Tsuki, one of two things is going to happen here. Either you tell me who did it, or I'll go find out myself and deal with them."

The blonde stared at the infuriated male incredulously, but didn't respond for a moment.

"I'll tell you later, okay? Please? Let's...just get breakfast..." his voice was begging. Reluctantly, Roppi nodded at the request.

"Thank you..." Tsuki smiled bitterly, pressing his lips against the smaller male's briefly. They got dressed and the blonde pulled the other bed back to the other side of the room. He explained that the orderlies checked the rooms during the day and if they found the beds out of place, they would be reprimanded. They left the room, hand in hand.

Breakfast was the same as the day before. Quiet and uneventful. Roppi was glad for this, only interested in spending time with one human anyway. He observed the other male's increased clinginess, and knew immediately that something was troubling him. He decided not to ask yet.

"I really want to watch one of my favorite shows that comes on Saturday mornings. Is that okay with you?" Tsuki asked him as they left the cafeteria.

"Of course. Whatever you want to do."

The T.V. room was also mostly empty. There was Anri in the armchair, reading a book. Mika was beside her, braiding the girl's short hair. Both girls looked up at their entrance.

"Good morning Anri-chan. Mika-chan." Tsuki greeted pleasantly.

There was a scowl sent to Roppi from the redhead, her face furrowed with distaste. He returned her expression.

"Good morning." Anri said to them both, going back to her book.

The blonde walked to the front of the television, and changed the channel with the remote that was chained down for 'health reasons'. Apparently, someone had figured out how to beat someone up with a remote.

Roppi sat on the couch across from the girls, joined by Tsuki as they stared at the television. It was a cartoon. A _cartoon. _He chose not to comment due to the other male's depressed mood.

"Tsukishima, I was watching the religious channel! Turn it back and stop being such a heathen!" hissed Mika from the armchair.

"I-I'm sorry!" Tsuki wailed, starting to rise from the couch. He was pulled back down by Roppi.

"Technically, Sunday is the day for religion. He only wants to watch one show, then he'll turn it back. It's not like you were watching it too intently anyway since you're bothering Anri."

The girl narrowed her eyes at him, but didn't protest any further. Roppi grinned up at Tsuki, who blushed and settled against him, almost lying backwards into the smaller man's lap. His head rested in the raven's neck, their hands clasping together. There were a few peaceful minutes when...

"So, you two are like Masaomi and Mikado? Homosexuality is a sin you know." Mika said from the corner again.

"So is being a bitch." Roppi muttered.

"Cussing is also a sin, fornicator. You'll wish you had listened when you're burning in the pits of Hell!"

"If burning in Hell means I can get away from you, I'd jump down there right now." The raven hissed. He was irritable due to lack of sleep and Tsuki's sad behavior.

He just wanted a mother fucking razor.

""Roppi-san..." Tsuki whimpered, tugging on his hands.

_"Oh, I forgot he doesn't like fights..."_

Sighing, Roppi turned back to the television, trying his best to ignore the girl. Anri was glancing between them every now and then.

"Anri-chan, you look so much healthier~! I prayed for you to get better, you know. I see my prayers have been answered." Mika chanted.

_"If my prayers were answered, you'd be on fire..."_

"Yes...I've gained three pounds..." Anri said, looking distraught. Roppi knew that part of her disorder meant she wouldn't be happy with getting healthy. She only wanted to be alone with her disorders, Ana (anorexia) and Mia (bulimia).

"Anri-chan, did you know you can subtract 8 pounds from your body weight? That's how much your head weighs by itself." Tsuki told the girl, trying to make her feel better.

"Haha! That means you could subtract 3 pounds from _your _body weight, Tsuki! I bet your head is full of hot air!" Mika jeered, laughing at her own joke. Tsuki looked down at his scarf, his eyes hurt. Roppi decided he had been good long enough.

"At least he could subtract that much. You'd be subtracting negative numbers from your body weight. I bet it must feel good to sit there and judge everyone from that pedestal you're standing on. If you knew anything about the religion you claim to follow, you'd know judging people is strictly forbidden. Lucky for me, I'm not part of any religion, so I'm judging you right now. I think you're a spoiled, ugly bitch. And if you don't leave Tsuki alone I'll cut more than myself."

Her eyes widened and she rose from the chair, making for the exit. She cast another terrified glance at the raven, who was practically seething with darkness, before she ran outside.

"R-Roppi-san..." Tsuki whispered, looking behind him at the other's expression. Roppi's eyes softened as he stared down at the blonde.

"Shhh. Watch your show." he told the man, running his fingers through his hair.

Silence fell upon the room as Tsuki became engrossed in his cartoon. Roppi looked up just in time to see Anri look hurriedly back down at her book, a smile plastered on her face.

After the cartoon was over, they walked out of the main room just as everyone else was waking up.

"Tsukilicious! Roppi-Toppy!" Masaomi called over as he came over. "We just woke up. Man, you guys get up early!"

"I had to watch my show..." Tsuki mumbled. He still looked very distraught.

"Erm...well, cheer up will you? It's almost Christmas~!" Masaomi was obviously trying to make the blonde feel better. Roppi knew that the reminder only hurt the other male though. Christmas was when he had suffered his breakdown.

"Yeah...it'll be good to see everyone..." Tsuki said.

"See everyone? We get to leave?" Roppi asked.

"No. They come here a few days before Christmas to see us. It's a big gathering." Masaomi explained.

_"Fuck."_

As if on cue, a nurse came in the room and pointed at the raven.

"Orihara-san, you have a phone call." she said, moving her finger to point at the row of phones on the wall in the corner. Roppi sighed loudly and walked over to one, both blondes behind him. He picked up the one that wasn't on the hook.

"Hello?" he asked, already knowing full well who it would be.

_"Roppi-chaaaaan~! How is it in the cuckoo nest? You flown over yet?" _Izaya's voice wailed through the speaker, loud enough for all three men to hear.

"No. You don't have to scream, Izaya." Roppi hissed, noting the horrified glance Tsuki gave at the name. What had Shizuo told him? Izaya wasn't scary, just obnoxious.

_"That's no way to talk to your favorite cousin! You know I was born without an indoor voice!"_

"And I've had to hear it my whole fucking life."

_"Now, I know you looooovvvveeee me. I saved your life after all, ne? I am your savior now, Roppi-chan~."_

"I didn't ask for that. I never asked for your help. You should've let me die."

Tsuki flinched at that.

_"What fun are you dead? No, I think you're where you need to be. Did you know Shizu-chan's brother is in there with you? What a small world! Tell me you've met him!" _

"He's my roommate."

_"Ooooh, so fun, so fun! Did the nurse tell you I get to come visit soon? I bet Shizu-chan's family will be there too. I can't wait to see the brute's face when he sees me walk in!" _Izaya laughed maniacally. Tsuki and Masaomi both looked at the phone like it was on fire.

"Yeah, I just found out about it. Feel free to not come." Roppi sighed, cursing his fate.

_"Eh? No way! I'm going to visit that farm they call an insane asylum! So many people in one place, it'll be great! I love humans!" _Izaya sang.

"I hate them. And you. Don't come here."

_"You're just upset that I stopped your little suicide attempt. You'll thank me one day, Roppi-chan." _Izaya's voice was serious for a moment. _"Anywho, see you soon! Kill your roommate if you want! Ja ne~!" _

And the voice was gone. Roppi practically slammed it on the receiver, turning to face the two men behind him.

"He sounded...interesting..." Masaomi whistled, his eyebrows raised.

"Just like my brother described..." Tsuki shivered. "He hates that name you know. 'Shizu-chan'. He goes berserk just at the sound of it."

"Yeah, well Izaya loves to torture him. I think...Izaya may be in love with Shizuo. Just a hunch I have at least." Roppi replied.

"Eh? B-But they hate each other!"

"So they say. Anyway, I think I'll go take a nap for a while. I didn't sleep well last night. You guys feel free to do whatever you want." The raven waved, walking away.

He heard footsteps behind him.

"Tsuki, you don't have to come with me. Go have fun with your friends." Roppi sighed, turning to face the blonde. But it wasn't the blonde.

He was face to face with Seiji Yagiri.

_[Liar! (Liar!) If we're keeping score. We're all choir boys at best, intrusive and arrogant.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Hehe~! Somehow I keep ending on cliffhangers. I truly don't mean to, it just happens sometimes. I write spur of the moment, and where it ends, it ends. _

_Roppi: You just love to torture people._

_Tsuki: Isn't that called sadism? _

_Sachi: I'm not a sadist!_

_Roppi: Review or she may cut you. Sadists are strange._

_Sachi: Says the masochist! _

_Tsuki: I'm an optimist~!_

_Sachi: Not even the same ballpark, Tsukilicious… _


	9. Chapter 9

_Disposable Teens_

_(Marilyn Manson)_

_[Well I'm a black rainbow, and I'm an ape of God, I've got a face that's made for violence and porn, and I'm a teen distortion, survived abortion, a rebel from the waist down~.]_

Seiji was glaring at the raven, his hands balled into fists. He had circles under his eyes. Roppi had a hunch that Masaomi wasn't the only one skipping his meds.

"Did you need something? I'm a little preoccupied." he told the spiky haired man.

"You. You are a problem. Your mouth is a problem." Seiji hissed.

Roppi raised an eyebrow, not showing any emotion. His face was void of fear. He knew if he was cornered, he would be in a bind.

"I wasn't aware it was doing anything. I'll be sure to tell it to be quiet."

Seiji's lips pulled away from his teeth in a snarl.

"That's what I mean! Your sarcasm is obnoxious! You scared Mika to death! She came running to me saying you threatened to kill her!"

"No. I said I would cut her. And I will if she continues to be a thorn in my side. Am I going to have to tell you the same thing?" Roppi sighed, wishing this pointless conversation could be over so he could sleep.

"I really don't like you." Seiji snarled, taking a step forward.

"I really hate you." Roppi said, narrowing his eyes threateningly. Screw it. He was in a bad mood. For once, he would take it out on someone other than himself. He wondered idly if a bloody nose would feel as good as a slit wrist.

_"No...it's not even close to being the same thing..."_

Seiji came closer, his arms at his sides despite his menacing demeanor. He raised his hands, and Roppi waited for contact. If the brunette threw the first punch, he could claim self-defense and lower his own punishment later. He felt himself raised off the floor as large hands gripped the front of his shirt.

"You hate me huh? Is it because that behemoth of a roommate told you to?" Seiji grinned, his face much too close for the raven's liking.

"I hate you because I choose to. But if you continue to insult Tsuki, I will massacre you."

Seiji laughed, a hollow sort of sound, and he looked thoughtfully at the smaller male in his grasp.

"Mika said you were a little fag for him. Are you and Tsukishima getting it on in that room of yours? I hope you're on top. That idiot wouldn't know where to stick it in."

_"Fuck getting in trouble."_

Roppi threw the first punch, his fist colliding with Seiji's face. The brunette's head snapped back, blood oozing from his lip. He turned slowly back to Roppi, his face twisted with rage.

"You still suicidal, freak? I can kill you right now...save you some trouble..." he hissed, slamming the raven's back against the wall. Roppi heard his skull connect with the hard surface with a reverberating thud. He kept his face smooth, staring coldly at the man holding him up.

"Usually, I'd welcome it. But I would rather be eaten by cockroaches than have the likes of you kill me."

Seiji laughed again. His raised his hand, the palm resting on the raven's cheek.

"You know...You look sort of like a girl. I can see why you'd get male attention. Even someone as stupid as Tsuki can see that you're...pretty? Is that a good word? Yeah...pretty works." he flashed a grin at the confused misanthrope.

"I'm sorry, are you coming on to me now? Are you having some sort of delusion?" Roppi's voice was filled with disbelief. Seiji ignored him.

"You look like this girl I used to date before I came here. Man, she was fucking hot. She did all kinds of things with her body that you wouldn't believe...Now I'm with Mika and she won't even let me get past making out because it's a sin or some shit..."

"I fail to see how your dry spell concerns me." Roppi said.

His body was forced closer into the wall as Seiji pressed himself against him, the clouded eyes suddenly sparked with lust.

"We could pretend...That you were a girl. Just for a little while..."

Crimson eyes widened. Really, was everyone here going to start sexually assaulting him? Tsuki was an exception but this...was fucking gross.

"Get. Off. Me." he growled in warning.

"How about we both get off? I'll make it worth your while too. I'm better that that idiotic blonde even thought about being."

That did it. Roppi kicked his legs out, effectively hitting the other man in the crotch. Seiji was forced to let him go as he crumpled to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and trying to block the pain.

"Stay the fuck away from me. If it's not forced contact, I don't want to see your idiotic face. Stay away from Tsuki as well. As far as letting you fuck me goes, there isn't enough alcohol in the world that could help me get it up for someone like _you._" Roppi stomped past him, purposely stepping on him as he went.

Three days. Three fucking days here and there were two men who had a sexual interest in him. He had been through it at Raira too. The upperclassmen had said the same thing about him looking feminine. It was his curse for being an Orihara. Izaya had dealt with it too in his earlier years, but eventually he and Shizuo had scared them off with their constant fighting. Roppi had managed to make it through his high school days without any incidents, but now…

_"At least Tsuki felt good..." _

In his anger, he realized he went the wrong way. Looking around, he tried to figure out where he was. Ah, he was past the art room. How the hell had he managed to walk so far away? He must have really been out of it...

_'I want a fucking razor."_

Sighing, he strode back into the main room, past the drugged up droids watching the television. Now he was going the right way to his shared room with the blonde. He stormed passed the cafeteria.

"Roppi-san?" a gentle voice called out. Roppi turned to see Tsuki running from the cafeteria with Mikado and Masaomi close behind.

"I thought you were taking a nap?" Tsuki asked.

"I was...I mean am...I got lost..." The raven sighed, holding his temples.

_"Aspirin. Aspirin and a razor..."_

The three other patients observed him quietly.

"Are you...alright? You look a little out of it..." Masaomi stated.

"Fine. I'm fine. Need sleep...need..." _A RAZOR._

At that moment, Mika ran past them. Roppi turned his head to see her fling herself into Seiji's arms. The idiot hadn't even wiped the blood from his lip where Roppi punched him. He was still hunched over in pain, but held the girl tightly.

_"I hope I popped one..."_

"Wow. What do you think happened to schizo boy?" Masaomi whistled.

"He probably ran into a wall or something. No one here messes with him." Mikado shrugged.

Roppi glared in the male's general direction. The brunette raised his head, glaring back with equal distaste. They could hear Mika's voice as she squealed over her wounded boyfriend.

"Roppi-san...What happened?" Tsuki's voice asked from beside him. The raven turned to look at him.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." he told the taller man, running his hand over the blonde's cheek. Turning, Roppi made to go to his room. If he got some sleep, maybe he could shake off the irritated vibe he had in his body.

"You hurt Seiji-kun!" Mika hissed as she walked over, raising her hand to slap the raven. Sighing, he turned and caught her hand before she could strike him.

"Look, he deserved it alright? If you'd give him some fucking action, maybe I could get some GODDAMN SLEEP!" he roared, throwing her a little to the side. The entire room was looking at them now.

"Roppi-san..." Tsuki whimpered in the distance.

'Hey, you!" a frazzled voice called from behind them. Dr. Shinra Kishitani was rushing toward them.

"My office, now!" he told the raven, grabbing his jacket sleeve. Roppi hissed, but obeyed the spectacled male. He looked over his shoulder to see Tsuki's face crumple in pain.

* * *

"What's wrong? What happened? Tell me everything and I'll work with you. That's part of therapy." Shinra said genuinely. Roppi sat on the couch in the nice office, clutching his head.

"That Seiji guy cornered me and started some shit because I'm new I guess. So I punched him. Then his little girlfriend came at me for doing that, so I pushed her off of me. I couldn't hit a woman...Though she really deserved it..."

"I see. And what's causing your distress today, Orihara-san? You seem distraught from more than just the incident in the main room." The doctor stated matter-of-factly.

"Just...cravings..."

"Cravings to harm yourself?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm...We're not scheduled to talk until tomorrow...But in light of your current mental state, I'm moving you up to right now. I want to know everything. From the first time you picked up a razorblade, to now."

"Is that really necessary?" Roppi sighed.

"It's therapy. So yes, it is." Shinra grinned.

So, reluctantly, and with a scowl on his face, Roppi told the man the same story he had told Tsuki the night before. About his missing dad and neglectful mom. About Izaya. About the need to cut his skin with a blade. Shinra listened to him, and wrote little notes after every sentence he said.

"Yes, I know Izaya rather well...We went to Raira together. I don't know if he ever told you that or not. Kyohei Kadota also went there with us. He's a patient here, so I'm assuming you've met him." The doctor told him as he sat the notebook down.

"No, I didn't know that. I heard mostly about Shizuo." Roppi informed him.

"Try having to experience their 'fights' yourself. Those two literally tried to kill each other every day! It ruined high school for me!"

Roppi stared at the man incredulously.

"Ahem...Um, anyway...Now that I know more on your background, I can prescribe medication to help you."

"I've already been taking sleeping pills. Do I really need more?" The raven sighed, wishing to just leave the room.

"Those are prescribed to everyone here. No, you need medication to treat your mental condition. So, I'll send in for your new meds. You should be able to take them tonight."

"Whatever. Can I have an Aspirin or something? My head is killing me..."

Shinra smiled, and wrote a little note on a piece of paper.

"Give this to the nurse at the front desk. She'll give you some Aspirin. Now, I won't tell about the incident with Seiji Yagiri. If he wants to tell, you'll have to deal with it. But you and I never had this conversation about it."

Roppi gave him a rare smile.

"You just don't like him either, right?"

"No. And I really don't like his sister." The doctor admitted with a smirk.

Roppi left the office and went to the nurse up front. She read the note and shuffled behind the desk for a moment before she reached out to give him two white pills. He took them gratefully, and swallowed them down with the small cup of water she gave him. Then, he headed for his room.

As soon as he opened the door, he was tackled by a tall golden mess.

"Roppi-san! R-Roppi-san!" Tsuki wailed, hugging him tightly.

"Tsuki...relax..." he ground out, trying to breathe.

"I was so worried! What happened? What did Seiji do to you? I knew something bad would happen! I knew it!"

"Damn, calm down would you? Give me a moment and I'll explain!" Roppi hissed. The blonde released him, looking very distraught. He sat back on his bed and fiddled with his scarf.

Roppi's gaze softened and he sat beside his roommate on the bed.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you...Anyway, Seiji picked a fight with me and I ended it. That's it." he told the blonde.

"What...did he say to you to cause a fight?" Tsuki asked quietly.

"He was insulting you. And then...he tried to come on to me."

Roppi saw no need to keep that information from his roommate.

"He-Wait...what? By come on you don't mean..."

"Yeah, he was going to try and fuck me."

A look of disbelief crossed Tsuki's features, then pure...rage? Could such a gentle creature possess such a trait? Of course...the blonde _had _killed someone...

"You should've hit him harder! That...That bastard!"

"Agreed. So I punched him and then kicked him as hard as I could. Don't worry, he didn't kiss me or anything." Roppi told him. "Now, I've told you what you wanted to know. I expect the same. Who did this to your neck?"

Tsuki's face darkened and he looked away.

"Roppi-san...I really don't want to-"

"I don't care what you want. Tell me." Roppi insisted.

After what seemed like an eternity, Tsuki responded.

"Seiji...did this to me."_ (I was going to end it here, but I decided to be nice and not end on a cliffhanger! :p)_

"He…he cut your neck like this? Why the fuck didn't you turn him in? Why is he still roaming the halls?" Roppi demanded, feeling intense rage he hadn't felt in ages.

"I did, Roppi-san…But you'll learn that the only true punishment here is solitary confinement. This is where they place people who are deemed unfit for society outside in the real world. So after a few weeks of solitary, he was released again and told to stay away from me." Tsuki said quietly.

"Why…did he do it? Was he…coming on to you too?"

The blonde shook his head sadly.

"There used to be another girl here who had split personality disorder. He had an…encounter with her and she kind of started obsessing with him. One day, I walked into the T.V. room to see him screaming at her and then he slapped her…so I intervened. And then he did this." He pointed to his neck.

Roppi moved his hands up to hook under the white fabric, pulling it down to reveal the scarred flesh. He ran his fingers over the soft skin, his eyes seething with rage. Tsuki thought his eyes looked like fire.

"I-I just…please don't get more on his bad side, R-Roppi-san! Just stay away from him! Especially if he likes you in that way…I don't want you to end up like that girl! Please…I just want him to stay away from you…" Tsuki begged, his large hands coming to rest on the raven's shoulders.

"Relax, Tsuki. Just trust me, alright? I'm not an irrational person." Roppi informed him gently. The blonde nodded.

Tsuki leaned his forehead against Roppi's, their eyes boring into each other.

"The thought of Seiji trying to touch you…" The taller man hissed.

"He touched you first. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." Roppi assured him. He welcomed the oaf's lips as they collided with his own, their tongues wrapping around each other again.

"Promise me…You'll never let him kiss you this way…" Tsuki said with a swipe of his tongue against the other's lips. Roppi shuddered involuntarily.

"Of course I won't…"

"Can…it be only me that you kiss?" The blonde asked hopefully, leaning back to gage the other's reaction to the question.

Was he asking for a relationship? It didn't seem too likely that he was…Then what was he asking? To be exclusive? Wasn't that the same thing as being in a fucking relationship? Why was he putting the raven in this situation? Ugh, that fucking imbecile.

But Roppi couldn't say anything negative to such a hopeful smile. Tsuki truly was the greatest human he had ever met. And he had a desire to protect the blonde that he never knew he had. It was all these things together that made him even more confused when he replied to the question.

"I don't want anyone else to kiss me." He purred, watching as Tsuki's eyes darkened.

They leaned in, connecting their mouths again as that stupid, jolting sensation swept through the raven's body. He couldn't resist releasing a soft moan, as the blonde's lips smirked against his own.

_"What the fuck…is wrong with me?" _

The truth was that even as he tried to run from whatever he was feeling for his roommate…He could never run fast enough.

_"Heiwajima's have crazy strength. And they__ run really fast! Shizu-chan chases me endlessly…It's such fun~!" _Izaya had told him once.

Yes…They did indeed run very fast…

_[You said you wanted evolution, the ape with the great big hit. You said you wanted revolution man, and I say that you're full of shit.]_

* * *

_Sachi: I don't remember what the doujinshi was called in which Psyche was dominant...I think it was Pink and Blue? Something like that. It's on Youtube. The version I found was in German, but it's easily understood since it's mostly action. Haha, Threegreenbeans, your review about people trying to shove their bibles onto you; I misread it at first. I was like, "People in Texas shove bibles __**INTO **__you?" I laughed so hard when I realized my mistake. I'm in Alabama. So, I understand how it is to live in the Bible belt. In other news, I do see Roppi as being a sadomasochist sometimes…but at the same time I think he's more self-abusing than anything else. I see Izaya as a the sadist. Well…the sadistic sociopath._

_Izaya: I'm not a sociopath!_

_Roppi: Why is he in the postscript? This is a Tsukioppi! Tell him to go back to his Shizaya story!_

_Izaya: Sachi-chaaaaaaan~! Roppi-chan is so mean!_

_Sachi: You two either play nice or I'll bring Delic into this story. So help you all if he enters this story!_

_Roppi: …_

_Izaya: …_

_Sachi: Good. Reviews keep the rainbows bright and the kitties perky!_

_Delic: Can I be a nymphomaniac in the story?_

_(Delic will not be in this story. Sorry for any hopes that have been smashed.)_


	10. Chapter 10

_N.G.S._

_(Asian Kung-Fu Generation)_

_[Your voice rings out. It is cruel to hear our voices sound together. The feeling of an SOS, currently the answers are extended ahead.]_

Stupid. Fucking stupid. That was this whole "group therapy" shit. Useless as a mismatched sock and bright as Seiji in a cave.

It's not like anyone important has ever had a breakthrough while sitting in a circle with a bunch of fucking losers. All they did was sit there and stare.

Fucking mouth-breathers.

If they all burst into flames; it could never be soon enough. The whole damn place could burn right along with them.

"Roppi-san..."

Tsuki's gentle voice broke his thoughts, making him blink away the image of burning people and hefty smoke.

"What?"

"Y-You were asked a question..." Tsuki mumbled apologetically while pointing to Dr. Yagiri. Roppi turned to the quizzical stare of his "therapist".

"What was the question?" he asked her, no emotion in his voice whatsoever. No one would ever know of his troubled thoughts of them all burning alive.

"I _asked _you to share the moment you first knew you had problems." she hissed. The raven's stare remained passive, but his voice had a bite.

"How is sharing that going to help anyone have a psychological breakthrough? I could say it was since I was 2 years old and sexually harassed baby dolls. You wouldn't know whether or not I was lying."

Masaomi burst into a fit of laughter.

"_Baby dolls? _Really? Oh, Roppi-Toppy, you're too much!"

"No, Orihara-san. The point of group therapy is sharing your experiences and growing as a person in front of other people who share your problems conforming to society. It's easier to talk in front of people who share your pain." she replied in a forced professional voice.

"Then I want to be skipped." Roppi said flatly.

"Y-You can't skip!" The doctor-Oh fuck it. Call her Namie.

"Why? Are you going to make me reply? Are you going to take away my gold star for the day? Oh _how _will I go on?" he feigned misery.

Tsuki kept his eyes on his lap, not saying a word. He knew the raven was having an "I don't give a fuck" day, based on his earlier actions with Seiji.

"Fine! Fine! Tsukishima, answer the question!" she relented, pointing to the frazzled blonde.

"I-I uh...S-Since I was little?" he tried, looking at her innocently. She glared.

"_Elaborate._"

"E-Eh...well...I had r-really bad nerves in school...and I never fit in with anyone...So I was alone a lot. Besides my brothers..."

"Your parents weren't around?" she asked him quizzically.

The blonde's gaze grew wide and he bit his lip, trying to get the words out. People in the circle (Seiji and Mika) were starting to laugh.

"Excuse me, _doctor_, but haven't you even read the fucking file on him? If you haven't, I fail to see how you plan to help him." Roppi sighed, placing his hand on the oaf's thigh to give a slight squeeze.

Namie looked like a fish with no water.

"Orihara-san, one more outburst and you're out of the circle!"

Roppi was about to reply "Go ahead and kick me out", but Tsuki's hand gripped his tightly and he was shaking his head. The raven grumbled a small "Sorry" to him.

"I wanna share~!" Masaomi declared.

"Then do it." Namie said disinterestedly.

"I knew I had a problem when I was at the store with my mom one day and she told me I couldn't have a toy race car I wanted. I literally pushed the shelf over and broke a lot of stuff in my rage. Then, 5 minutes later, I was sobbing hysterically because I broke a really nice sword under all the knocked over trash. Finally, I laughed maniacally when the adults started to scold me. It was so funny!"

"Bipolarism is a strange disorder. Extreme highs and lows at every turn. You're lucky you attained treatment. It can go undiagnosed for years." Namie said in a professional voice.

"Did your Hello Kitty medical journal tell you that?" Roppi hissed under his breath.

"Orihara-san, since you obviously have so much to say today, why don't you tell everyone your thoughts on the mental state of everyone here?" she said blandly, challenging him to outrank her knowledge of the human mind.

Roppi gave a crooked grin, one that screamed "Danger", and leaned forward in his seat.

"I don't feel the need to make myself seem like the most intelligent person in the room. If you have that problem, I suggest you take up a career as a professor. Then people will pay for your pompous attitude. Is that about right, _Dr. Yagiri?" _he purred.

"Stop being a dick to my sister!" Seiji growled, finally making his presence in the room known. He was glaring at the raven.

"Oooh, well pardon me. I see I failed to explain that the delusion of importance seems to run in the family."

"YOU FUCKER!" Seiji yelled and started forward. Mika made a slight yelp and pulled him back, begging him to calm down.

Tsuki had his head down, his body trembling slightly.

"Seiji, calm down! Orihara-san-"

"No, let him say what he has to that's so important. I want to hear what goes on in that head of his." Roppi said smoothly, pointing to the brunette.

"Shut the fuck up, prettyboy." he snarled.

"I see. You think with only one head. And it's not the one on your shoulders."

Seiji gave a wicked grin, leaning forward a little to get as close as possible to the man across the room from him.

"Don't act like you're not thinking about that head too."

The raven raised a quizzical brow.

"I'm not a good actor. I'm not thinking about any part of you. I find you as unattractive as the girl you're sitting beside."

Mika glowered at him before she added her own two cents.

"I look better than you!" she screeched.

"Isn't being full of yourself a sin? Also, ask how many he's had before you. How many he's probably had _during _you. I'm sure if you get some sexual disease, you two can at least have something in common."

Tsuki was now hunched over in the chair, holding his hands over his ears.

"Jealous that you don't get to be one of the many?" Seiji inquired, a low hint of lust in his voice.

"Nope."

"Alright, that's enough! Seriously, you two act as if you're three year olds! Seiji isn't whoring around! I'd know if he was!" Naime shouted, finally trying to take control.

"Would you? Or would you just use his skill to your own advantage?" Roppi grinned.

"I'll show you skill~." Seiji smirked.

"Stop talking like that to Roppi-san! It's disgusting!" Tsuki hissed loudly, snapping his head up.

"Or what? You'll stutter at me? I don't hear him complaining."

"Yes you did. Seriously, did anyone not hear me complaining?" Roppi muttered, placing a hand on the blonde's shoulder to calm him down. Tsuki shook it off.

"Honestly, you should be happy Tsuki. I can break him in for you." Seiji said while he licked his lips.

"Isn't this a little profane?" Kadota asked Saburo, who was leaning backwards in his chair and in danger of falling over.

"Shut up!" Tsuki yelled at the brunette, his hands clenched into fists.

"Tsuki! Calm down!" Roppi said while trying to hold the man down.

"Alright, out! OUT! You two, get out!" Namie shouted to the blonde and the raven clinging onto him. Tsuki grabbed the smaller wrist and yanked him toward the door.

* * *

"What is wrong with you? Why are you acting so mean today? I told you to leave him alone! I TOLD you! I don't know...what to say to you!" Tsuki was yanking at his scarf and trying to pull it down.

"He started the main argument. I didn't do anything bad. He did that to your neck; I can't just ignore him completely." Roppi sighed, sitting on his bed and flopping backwards.

"That's not good enough! He sat there and practically raped you with his eyes all session! Did you not care?"

"No. I don't care anything about him."

"I CARED! I can't stand him even being in the same room as you! I wanted...I wanted to snap his fucking neck!" Tsuki wailed, punching the wall. The white surface cracked and crumbled, breaking into the floor.

"Tsuki, calm down! I'm just...Sorry, I'm just losing it in here alright?" Roppi put his hands over his face.

He felt like a caged bird. Not that he ever truly liked going in public, but at least he could be outside. Roppi loved to go on walks. It was one of the few joys he had.

"Roppi-san...What is it?" Tsuki asked, sitting dutifully beside the raven.

"It's this place! This atmosphere! These people! I can't stand being trapped! I just want to slash- I mean..." he broke off when he realized what he was getting at. The blonde eyed him sadly.

"You...You want to d-die...don't you?"

Roppi removed his hands from his face and stared up at Tsuki's horrified expression. Seeing no reason to lie, he nodded. Tsuki looked away, his eyes tearful.

"I...can't make you want to live?"

"Stupid. You're the only reason I have..." Roppi whispered.

The blonde shifted, wrapping his arms around the smaller man's torso and burying his face in the porcelain neck.

"I don't want you...to think like that..." he whimpered.

Sighing, Roppi put his hands through yellow locks and ran his fingers through them gently.

"I know."

It was quiet. Finally, no one was babbling about their problems. Of course, this situation wasn't entirely serene either. Moisture on his neck confirmed Tsuki was crying. Cursing his fate, Roppi tried to comfort him as best as he could. Unfortunately, this was not his forte.

"Tsuki...I-I shouldn't have said anything...It's not fair for me to dump my problems on you when you have your own."

"N-No. I want you to tell me." the blonde sniffled quietly. "I just don't want you to die..."

Roppi glared at the ceiling, trying to figure out how it came to this. They were only roommates for three days, and now involved in something that was growing faster than previously anticipated.

Why the hell did this sniveling man care so much for him? It didn't make any sense. Then again, he had cared enough for the blonde to stand up for him. He had never stood up to anyone before, but he knew he hadn't done it for himself.

"Roppi-san..."

"Hm?"

"Promise me...you'll never leave me..." Tsuki's voice was a whisper, barely audible over their breathing.

"Leave you? Where would I go? I'm locked up same as you."

"I...I just...If you die...I want-"

"No. You're not allowed to think about anything so morbid, Tsuki." Roppi hissed.

He realized that the blonde was asking to die with him.

"I don't need your permission." Tsuki said, looking up from the raven's neck.

"You're being ridiculous. Do you even realize what you're saying?" Roppi asked.

"I do. I don't want to live without you."

"I never said I was going to kill myself! Damn, I'm just having a bad day! Nothing bad is going to happen to me!"

Tsuki observed him with the most serious expression Roppi had ever seen him wear.

"If you die, I'm dying with you." his jaw was set.

A snarl came from the raven's lips as he tried to push the larger man off of him.

"Don't you dare! Don't put that on me!"

Tsuki's face broke into a bitter sweet smile as he watched his roommate fume above him.

"Then I guess you have a reason to live."

_[In other words, continuing ambiguity, inferiority arguments, are a buffer to sometimes connect my delusional internet. My imaginary reality, my imaginary reality, my imaginary reality, my delusion. The answers extend ahead.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Threegreenbeans, you speak fondly of me? Aww, I'm so honored! I speak kindly of you too! erihan, eh the whole Delic and Hibiya business is the same as Psyche and Tsugaru. I see Hibiya as being a prideful bitch. Haha, bitches need to be dominated. Not to say I couldn't see him on top. As TinkanaiT32 always says, you shouldn't leave who's uke and who's seme to decide whether or not you read. I honestly don't care who fucks who, long as they're fucking each other. Haha, I hope you feel the same so you can continue reading~! I love all of you guys! Reviews make me ultra-happy, and the fact that this story is getting favorited and subscribed to makes me dance with joy!_

_Roppi: You're so weird…_

_Sachi: Tsuki! Roppi is mean!_

_Tsuki: *hugs* He doesn't mean it…_

_Roppi: I kinda did…Both of you are pretty weird…_

_Sachi: We're both blondes too~! Totally similar! Anyway, keep reading and reviewing! _


	11. Chapter 11

_The Noose_

_(A Perfect Circle)_

_[So glad to see you well. Overcome and completely silent now. With heaven's help you cast your demons out. And not to pull your halo down, around your neck and tug you off your cloud. But I'm more than just a littlle curious how you're planning to go about making your amends to the dead. To the dead.]_

Roppi walked into his small apartment. The day had been hectic and awful as always. He had been going to school for a few weeks now, and every day was just as ridiculous as the day before.

He had been gone for a long time. After school, he had gone to Izaya's. The older Orihara had forced him to listen to him rant about Shizuo Heiwajima all afternoon. It was dark before he had a chance to go home.

His mother was on the couch. She still had the needle sticking out of her arm from shooting up. Sighing, Roppi removed it gently and covered her up with the blanket draped across the back of the couch. She stirred.

"Hachimenroppi...?"

"Yeah, mom. It's me." he muttered as her large brown orbs peered at him.

"Where...I thought you left me..." she whimpered.

"No. I was with Izaya. Sorry I'm late."

"You can't leave me. You're all I have..."

_"No. You have your drugs."_

"I know. I'm sorry. Go back to sleep." he told her gently.

And she did.

* * *

Roppi opened his eyes to see a new ceiling above him. He looked across the room at Tsuki, who was in his own bed. The raven had been infuriated and refused to sleep in the same bed. Tsuki had whined, but relented and retreated in the end.

Crimson eyes softened at the sleeping form of the blonde. Maybe his guilt had brought on his nightmare. He never truly dreamed when he slept...But every now and then his mother would creep into his subconscious and haunt him in his sleep.

He had always felt guilt when it came to his mother. She had lived for him and him for her. He was tired of having a reason to stay in this forsaken existence. That's why...He couldn't stand having another tether in the ground named Tsukishima.

Sighing, he removed himself from his tangled sheets, and made his bed. He got dressed and loomed over the blonde, debating on whether or not to wake him up. In the end, he decided they both needed space.

Walking out of the room, he headed toward the television room. While he never really wanted to watch it much, he couldn't help but hope for the numbing feeling he would get when he was forced to watch it. He wanted numbness. He welcomed it. Feeling was just too much.

He hadn't received his medication yet. Last night at dinner, the spectacled man had run up to him and assured him it would be delivered in the morning. Honestly, he didn't really care about taking it. If he was forced to though, he would. What reason did he have not to?

Anri was in the television room. She wasn't reading, nor was she watching the screen. Her glasses had a glare on them, which blocked her expression. Roppi sat on the couch across from her again.

"Good morning..." she greeted pleasantly. The glare from the lenses disappeared and he saw the hurt in her brown eyes.

Like his mother's.

"What's wrong?" he couldn't help but ask. It was an immediate reflex whenever his mom would wear the same gaze.

"Nothing! I'm just tired." she lied.

He looked at her skeptically.

"Alright...Well, I gained another pound..."

Usually, one pound wouldn't seem like a lot. But he knew about her disorder enough to know it wasn't that simple.

His mother had the same problems.

"You are aware that you're still skin and bones? It'll be alright." he informed her.

"I can't control it in here. If I don't eat, they'll make me...How is it anyone else's business if it's my body?" she asked, her voice full of bitterness.

"Because someone else decided it was, and they're going to force their ideology on you." he replied.

She nodded, folding her hands in her lap.

"You're the first person I've met who ever understood that...I guess you had to deal with it too...People interfering with you I mean..."

"Yes. Always. I understand that you just want to starve yourself, just as I want to kill myself. But we're being forced to live for other people. Life sucks." he grinned.

"Haha, yes it does! I just...can't get better...Everyone wants me to...There's so many expectations...but I can't live up to them..."

"Your parents stick you in here?" he asked her.

"No. My mother killed my father, then herself when I was very little. She had her own demons...My aunt and uncle put me in here." she told him.

_"I guess everyone has a fucked up family."_

"I understand. They want you to try when you've already given up."

"Yeah...That's about right..." she agreed.

He leaned forward on the couch and looked at her with pained eyes.

"If you find a way out, let me know."

Her eyes widened in surprise but then the caught herself.

"I will...I promise..." she said.

They were interrupted by Mika when she strolled in, taking a seat next to Anri. She didn't even look at Roppi.

_"Good."_

"Anri-chan, I heard you gained another pound! I'm so excited!" she squealed. Anri's face was passive as she smiled.

Roppi removed himself from the situation. Somewhere, in the damn foresaken place, there had to be a place he could be alone. He strolled to the nurse's station.

"Excuse me, is there any way we can go outside? Like on a trail or something?"

She looked at him with disbelief before shaking her head.

"All outdoor activities must be approved by the doctor's. There will be trips for you all to go on together. Being by yourself out there is impossible."

_"Of course..."_

Roppi needed to vent. He needed it. Needed it. There was no razor. There wasn't anything sharp at all in his grasp.

There was only one thing left to do to get the feeling out.

He picked up one of the phones on the wall and dialed the all too familiar number.

_Beeeeeeep. Beeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeep..._

_ "C'mon...Pick up..."_

Finally, there was a response.

_"Roppi-chan? What's wrong?" _Izaya asked groggily. Of course he had probably just woken up. He stayed out all damn night.

"I-I had the dream again...With my mother..." he said quietly. There was a pause.

_"Was it very bad?"_

"Not the whole dream...It ended before she died this time...I just...I don't have a way to..."

_"I know. Isn't that what the therapists are for? You need to talk to them."_

"It's not...that simple, Izaya. I can't talk to just anyone about this..." Roppi muttered.

_"Roppi-chan...You did all you could for your mother. You can't keep torturing yourself like this. She died 5 years ago. You need to stop pulling back with her and move forward."_

"I know that...I know...But I can't move forward when everyone in here reminds me of her..."

_"I'm sorry. But it was the only place I could think to put you. I really think they can help you. I need you to get better." _

It was weird, having such a simple conversation with his cousin. Izaya and him had often had incidents that they could talk to each other like this...Like they loved each other. Of course, they did truly care for one another. For his whole life, Izaya had been Roppi's whole world.

"Even when I get out I won't be able to have a normal life anymore. I'm not allowed to live alone."

_"You can stay with me."_

"You'll get bored with me and toss me out like you do with all your toys." Roppi laughed.

_"Never! Roppi-chan is one of my favorites~!" _Izaya sang.

Suddenly...he was glad that Izaya could visit for Christmas.

"So...I'll see you soon?"

_"Of course. Stay safe, Roppi." _

When he hung up...he felt slightly better about things. He had to go to group like always. Everything was becoming routine.

He walked into the circular group of chairs. He was early today. No one else was in here.

He sat in one of the chairs and leaned against the cold plastic.

_"Roppi-chan is one of my favorites~" _Izaya had said.

The damned older raven always had a way of cheering him up. Izaya was truly the only family he had, as well as Mairu and Kururi. He hadn't seen the twins in ages though, since they started high school.

The door opened, and Tsuki walked in. Masaomi and Mikado weren't with him. He paused in the doorway and fiddled with his scarf, looking at his feet.

"R-Roppi-san..." he began.

"Save it. Just come over here." Roppi sighed. He craved the calming presence of the blonde.

Beaming, Tsuki ran over to him and sat beside him, scooting the chair even closer to invade in his personal space.

"I'm sorry I acted so unreasonably." Roppi sighed, allowing himself to be squished in a choke hold.

"No, I'm sorry. I was too pushy last night..." Tsuki admitted, snuggling close.

"I guess you meant what you said though...about dying with me..."

"I did."

"Well...I guess I'll be living for a while yet..."

They exchanged a glance before the space closed. Tsuki nipped at his bottom lip and rolled his tongue against the seam. Roppi opened his mouth and captured the taller man's tongue with his own. This wasn't about dominance; it was about being as close as possible to the raven.

Roppi released a small moan into the kiss, and opened his eyes in surprise when he felt himself being lifted out of his chair. He was moved into the blonde's lap, his own legs straddling Tsuki's.

"Getting bold, are we?" he joked as the larger man ran his hands over his sides, pulling him closer.

"I wouldn't do it if you didn't want me to."

"I never said I didn't want you to." Roppi smirked as he invaded the blonde's mouth with his own.

"Mmmnn...Roppi-san..." Tsuki groaned, pushing his fingers through dark locks and pulling the raven's head further down.

There was a smacking noise as their lips parted, a small strand of saliva connecting them. Roppi grinned and wiped off their mouths with his hand.

"Uhm...I guess you two made out- I mean up!" Masaomi giggled as he walked in, Mikado in tow.

Tsuki made no motions of letting Roppi go. In fact, he pulled him even closer.

"Both." he smiled.

Mikado sent them a gentle smile as well before he started the process of sitting down. He had to walk around the chairs a few times and then move his chosen chair over a few inches to place it perfectly. Masaomi just stood idly by and waited to sit beside Mikado whenever he decided on a place to sit.

Roppi leaned against Tsuki's shoulder and discreetly ran his tongue against the skin of his neck as he pulled the scarf down. The blonde shuddered and placed his hands on the raven's thighs.

"You two aren't very good at hiding things are you?" Masaomi laughed.

"Nnnn...he's being mean..." Tsuki hissed as Roppi repeated the action.

"Nope. I'm teasing~." The raven purred into his ear.

The blonde turned his head and captured his lips in another fierce kiss just as Erika and Walker walked in.

"Ahhh~! Yaoi! Hot boy on boy action right in front of me! Where's a camera?" she squealed, flailing around to try and get closer. Walker pulled her back.

"S-Sorry! He made me!" Tsuki pointed to the raven.

"No! Do it again!" Erika demanded, pointing to the duo.

"Erika...they're not going to have at it in group..." Walker informed her.

"I can go into your room at night! Will that be better? You won't even know I'm there! Oh the fun we'll have!'

Roppi found himself laughing in spite of himself.

"I'm glad someone thinks we're sexy." he said as he straightened the blonde's glasses and removed himself from his lap.

"Y-Yeah..." Tsuki agreed, his face still red.

"She used to hide under our beds. She's serious." Mikado informed them as the manga-crazed duo took their seats.

Slowly, the room was filled with the patients. Mika and Seiji were last to enter. Glaring heatedly at the duo, Tsuki leaned down and captured Roppi's lips again for a short kiss. Seiji snarled at them like an animal.

Today, Roppi was quiet. He didn't care about this group shit. He leaned against Tsuki and stayed silent. There was an argument brewing between Mika and Anri, who the raven learned were roommates.

"I'm not saying that you're not saved, Mika-chan! I'm only saying that if Seiji is the most important person in your life then that makes you a hypocrite!" Anri said.

"How? How does that make me a hypocrite?" Mika hissed at the spectacled girl.

"Because you always say Jesus is the most important! Yet you just said Seiji was! It can't be both!"

"I never said he was more important than Jesus! Just because you're jealous of my being saved-"

"I'm not jealous of you at all!" Anri shouted.

The rest of the group watched in silence. Anri had never behaved like this before. Only Roppi knew of her troubles, and he wasn't about to tell on her.

"Please, you reek of jealousy. Because you're uglier." Seiji laughed harshly.

"Yeah! And fatter! Did you guys know that she's gained like 10 pounds since she came here? What a fatty!" Mika jeered.

Anri's eyes widened and she fell silent. She looked at her hands and tried to steady them as the tremors shook them. She stood and slowly made her way out of the room.

Roppi looked after her, and then stood up. Tsuki looked up at him questionably and rose with him. They followed her.

"Anri! Anri, wait!' Roppi called after her. She stopped and turned, her face streaked with tears.

"W-What?" she whined.

"Those two are idiots. You look fine. Better than fine. Just calm down..." The raven tried. She shook her head.

"I'm tired of this place. I'm getting out."

"H-How? You're locked in..." Tsuki whimpered, sinking into his scarf.

"Somehow...I'll talk to someone...Maybe I can get transferred..." she said, turning around again. "Thank you both..."

They watched her leave.

"D-Do you think we should go back to group?" Tsuki asked him then.

"No. Let's go to our room. I want to read a little before dinner." Roppi replied, taking the blonde's hand.

In their room, Tsuki pushed their beds together again. He lay dutifully beside Roppi, nuzzling against him as he read.

"D-Do you want me to read too?" The blonde asked.

"You don't have to. Just be quiet and you can stay here with me."

"Um...Can you...read to me?" Tsuki asked hopefully. Roppi looked at him incredulously.

"I-I just like your voice..."

Sighing, Roppi began to read out loud. It was a strange story about Death and the souls he took. Tsuki wasn't really listening to the words, just the voice. He drifted to sleep as the calming tone swept over him.

The raven glanced at the sleeping man and smirked, closing the book. He wasn't really tired himself, but he could enjoy the silence. At least he enjoyed it until a scream shattered the serene peacefulness they had enveloped themselves in.

Tsuki jumped awake, almost falling off the bed in panic as Roppi sat up. They looked at each other before they ran to the door and opened it, revealing a group surrounding the entrance to the bathroom. Mika was on the floor, in hysterics.

"What happened?" Tsuki asked as they made their way into the crowd. The door was opened wide, and inside...

Anri had made a noose with what looked to be bed sheets. She had hung them from the ceiling, attaching them to what seemed to be a hole in the paneling, looping them through to the other side. She was hanging just a little off the ground, lifeless.

Tsuki emitted a small squeak, his red eyes growing immensely large. He toppled over a little, supported by Roppi, whose expression was smooth as always.

He gazed at her large, brown, lifeless eyes. The same as his mothers.

* * *

"Yeah, I know, I know. I'll see you tomorrow." he said into his cell phone to his cousin. Izaya was babbling about what they would do for lunch the next day.

Roppi walked into his apartment, looking for his mother. She wasn't on the couch for once. He made his way to the small washroom, opening it and...

She was hanging from the ceiling, her wrists slashed.

She had done it because he hadn't been there to save her.

Somehow, he managed to call the ambulance and Izaya. He didn't remember the conversations. The paramedics worked on her even though it was too late.

Izaya sat beside him and held him gently. Whether or not he truly cared was a mystery, just like the older raven himself. But he still stayed there. To Roppi, it had meant a lot.

She hadn't left a note or anything. The doctor told them later that her body was full of various drugs that can often cause delusions. Meth was the top of the list. She had probably thought Roppi left her again.

She died because of him.

Now, faced with Anri's lifeless stare, he felt everything come rushing back. She had confided in him. She had trusted him with her problems…

There was a little note on the floor under her body. As the doctor's rushed over to push the patients out of the way, Roppi caught a small glimpse of what it said.

_"__Found a way out."_

She had died because of him…Just like his mother…

_[With your halo slipping down, your halo slipping down, your halo slipping down, to choke you now.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Ah, I get to the drama in this story right at the climax of my other story, so I'm going through sadness overload! I guess it's a good way to vent…Maybe I should have warned about character death?_

_Roppi: Can Seiji die? _

_Sachi: Dear Roppi-Toppy, I'm not telling~!_

_Tsuki: This is too sad…Can I be in a story full of happiness for once?_

_Sachi: I gave you happiness in my one-shot. You'll be strong! Anyway, review for they make me happier than a cat in an abandoned sushi shop._

_Roppi: *hits self*_


	12. Chapter 12

_Me, I'm Not._

_(Nine Inch Nails)_

_[Well it's happening. Never planned on this. You've got something I need. Kind of dangerous. And I'm losing control. I'm not used to this. What you want from me? I'm not used to this...]_

It had been two days since Anri killed herself. During this time, Mika had barricaded herself in her room and refused to come out. Seiji had taken to just going in there with her. Based on the noises, he had used her needy state to get what he wanted.

Everyone else resumed business as usual. Masaomi had informed them this wasn't the first time someone had died here. Mikado didn't have an attachment to her anyway. He liked her because she was quiet, which was really it.

Tsuki had been silent. He hadn't spoken since they had found her. Roppi knew it was probably as traumatic for the blonde as it was for himself. Since he had seen her stare...that damn lifeless stare...He hadn't been able to sleep.

Tsuki would cling to him at night, worse than usual. Even though he wasn't speaking, he had doubled his clinginess. That was fine with Roppi though. He now craved the contact. Tsuki's presence alone made him feel safe. Even if the blonde never talked again, this was enough.

Roppi himself had remained as passive as ever. He showed no emotion about the incident. As far as anyone could tell, he was unconcerned about Anri's death. No one knew of their previous conversation on the matter. No one knew how he had pushed her to do it. No one...

He dealt with it like he dealt with everything. He tried to force it out of his mind. As long as he could do that...he'd be alright. He had no way to get the pressure out...But he really needed it. He needed release from the guilt.

"Roppy-Toppy?" Masaomi asked him.

They were in the process of eating dinner. Roppi was beside Tsuki, resting against the blonde's shoulder.

"Hm?"

"Aren't you going to eat? You haven't touched your food."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yeah...you've said that for the past two days. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Not eating won't bring her back." Mikado said pointedly.

Tsuki tensed up and stopped running his hand over the raven's shoulder. It was the first time they had mentioned anything about Anri.

"No it won't. But since I can't cut myself, this is all I can do." Roppi sighed.

Starvation was a form of self-abuse. While it wasn't his favorite way to deal with things, it at least hurt him. The pain was all he wanted.

Tsuki nuzzled against him, still saying nothing. It seemed silence was the only way for the blonde to deal with his problems.

Whatever. Everyone had a method.

"Hm. Well, good luck with that. Just means more for me~!" Masaomi said happily, snatching the tray of food.

Tsuki's eyes narrowed at the happy blonde.

"That's Roppi-san's food." he said flatly.

All eyes turned to him. It was the first thing he had said in days.

"Well, well, well. Looks like Tsukilicious is back in commission!" Masaomi cheered. "Anyway, he gave it to me. If he wants it back, he can have it."

Tsuki looked at Roppi, his eyes pleading.

"Tsuki. I'm not hungry."

"I-I know...I just want you to e-eat it anyway..."

The raven sighed loudly, picking up his chopsticks and shoveling down a few bites of rice. It tasted like air.

"There. Happy?" he asked his roommate dully.

"No. But I feel better."

"Tsuki, you shouldn't go so long without talking. It's kind of lonely not hearing you. Seeing as how I've heard you since I got here." Mikado said, chewing on the end of his own chopsticks.

"I know. Sorry."

'Yeah. I missed your voice too." Masaomi said with a gentle smile.

Roppi stood from his spot, throwing away the rest of the rice. He had eaten only a few bites. Turning, he headed for the exit, aware of the eyes on him. He walked past Seiji and Mika, who looked up at him with disdain.

"Don't start with me." he warned, shoving past their table. For once, they didn't.

He needed a fucking razor.

Was that too much to ask?

Honestly, where the hell could he get anything sharp in here? They weren't even allowed to wear shoelaces for fuck's sake.

He strode past the nurse's station when he saw it. There was a silver glint from a large coffee cup filled with pens and pencils.

A letter opener.

A bright and shiny letter opener.

A _sharp _bright and shiny letter opener.

Feeling that familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach, he tip-toed over to the station. Reaching his hand out...almost...

"May I help you?" a dull voiced asked.

_"Shit."_

"Um...Yeah. I'm going to bed, I need my meds." he lied smoothly.

"Orihara, right?" she asked.

"Yeah."

As soon as she leaned over, he snatched the utensil, placing it in his jacket pocket.

"Here. Goodnight." she said happily.

"Goodnight."

_"Idiot."_

He went into the bathroom. It was the only place he knew he could be alone. Even if they couldn't lock the door, if it was shut no one would come in. Rules were rules.

He took out the shiny object, marveling at it fondly. He rolled up his sleeve and pulled away the bandages that were already there. He looked up at his reflection.

Roppi appeared too eager. It had been too long. Far, far too long. He _needed _this. No longer was it just want...But oh how he _wanted _it too...

Slowly, he made a small incision with the blade. The warmth spread over his skin, the pressure releasing. He made a small mewl at the sensation, his eyes closed tightly.

_"This is fucking orgasmic."_

Again and again, he made the cuts. He wouldn't be able to cut as deeply as he wanted, because if he did he knew it would draw attention. Not to mention the fact that his new blade would be taken away from him. Roppi truly couldn't have that.

He placed the letter opener back in his pocket and hurriedly tried to sop up the blood with toilet paper. He looked up at his reflection again.

This Roppi looked much more relaxed. His eyes were brighter. Fuck, he was even near smiling. This was what he needed. Damn the pills and damn everyone who thought this was a disgusting habit.

Once the blood was mostly taken care of, he tried to wrap the bandages back around his arm. He left the bathroom to find Masaomi standing there.

"The way you were moaning, I thought Tsukilicious was in there with you." he smiled.

Roppi couldn't help the grin that spread across his features. He felt so fucking giddy from his release.

"Nope. Just me." he grinned.

"Hm. Masturbation seems weird when you could just get that blonde of yours to do it for you." Masaomi laughed.

"I'm going to see him now. Should I look out for you under my bed too now? I doubt there will be room with Erika under there."

"Nah. I've got my own action."

Roppi made to walk past him, but his arm was grabbed by the cunning blonde.

"I know what you were doing. And I hope Tsuki doesn't find out." he said quietly.

"H-How did you know?" Roppi asked incredulously.

"I can smell the blood on you dude. Like an iron scent. You had it on you when you first came in here, but it's been gone. Since I smell it now, I know what you did."

"Don't tell, alright? I need this. I don't expect you to understand." The raven sighed, preparing for a lecture.

"I don't need to. Whatever helps you, Roppy-Toppy." he got really close to Roppi's ear and whispered into it. "But whatever _release _you need...you'll find Tsuki can provide it better." and he grinned mischievously before entering the bathroom himself.

Roppi stared at the door for a moment, before he turned and headed to his own room.

_"He kind of has a point...Maybe that's what Tsuki needs..."_

Subconsciously, he held onto the solid object in his pocket. He felt like everyone knew...just like Masaomi did. He pulled the door shut behind him as he entered the room he shared with the blonde.

"R-Roppi-san...Where did you go after dinner?" Tsuki asked quietly. He was on their larger bed made from two twin beds pushed together.

"Nowhere important." Roppi shrugged, sitting beside the taller man. Their knees brushed.

"I know that it's hard for you to deal with what happened. I know you hide in yourself because it's easier to do than deal with things. But shit happens. And...I'll...talk to you if that's what you need." The raven said gently. This was fucking hard.

Tsuki looked at him in surprise, his face turning red. His large hands immediately went to his scarf.

"I-I just...I hate seeing death..." he whispered. Roppi nodded.

"Me too, Tsuki. Me too." he said.

"Why do you think she did it?" Tsuki asked.

Roppi's stomach clenched in guilt.

"It was her only way out, Tsuki."

"N-No it wasn't! She could've gotten better!"

Roppi gave him a sad smile. The one he used when he wasn't sure what to say to be cheerful, since there was nothing cheerful to be said.

"You can't save people if they don't want to be saved."

"B-But...You...don't want to be-"

His voice broke off and he stared at his clenched fists.

"No. I don't. Nothing can change that, Tsuki. I'll always want to die. That's just how things are." Roppi informed him.

The blonde's garnet eyes filled with tears as he glared at his fists.

"But I won't kill myself as long as I have you to worry about."

Tsuki looked up at him again, his face hopeful.

"You mean that? You promise?" he asked.

"I promise. I won't leave you. Besides, if I did, you'd just follow me. We die together, right?"

Tsuki wrapped his long arms around the raven's small frame and pulled him close. He leaned his head on the smaller shoulder and breathed deeply.

"I feel so much better now..." he sighed happily, the tears falling.

Roppi felt immediately hot at the hands that gripped the fabric on his back. Tsuki's fingers were clenching into his shirt and roaming around.

"Masaomi...told me how I can help you feel even better..." he whispered into the man's ear.

"How?"

Instead of a response, the raven pushed him back gently on the bed and crawled on top of him. Their lips connected instantly and their tongues roamed over each other's in a fierce kiss.

Roppi snatched off the blonde's scarf, going to work on the scarred skin. He nipped and licked the area, picking a spot just above the collar bone to abuse.

"Ah...R-Roppi-san..."

"I'm marking you." the raven informed him.

Tsuki's hands wound in his hair and held his head in place as he abused the skin. When the blonde pulled too hard, Roppi bit down harshly, earning a whimper from the man below him.

"F-Feels...so good-ah..."

Smirking, Roppi lowered his hands, hooking his nimble fingers into one of the blonde's belt loops.

"I need you to sit back and trust me." he told the taller man.

Tsuki nodded, his eyes almost black from his enlarged pupils.

Roppi unbuttoned the jeans, forcing them down. He was met with the blonde's erect flesh, hidden by only a thin layer of boxers. Gently, he pressed his palm against the fabric.

"Nnnnghh..." Tsuki breathed in, clenching his eyes tightly.

"Shhh...Not too loud now...Someone could walk in at any moment..." Roppi said quietly, applying more force.

"R-Roppi-sa-ahhhhhh..." the blonde tried to make sense but couldn't. All he could see were the motions in his mind...The motions of those perfect hands...

"Mmm Tsuki...I wish you could be loud..." The raven purred as he snatched the boxers down swiftly, wrapping his fingers around the heated arousal.

"Ahhh~! N-No...Stop...Can't..." Tsuki hissed as he saw stars. His large hands came to rest on thin hips as he willed his brain to function properly.

It never did.

"Shhh...Let me take care of you~." Roppi mewled, picking up the pace. He tightened his fingers and pulled mercilessly.

"Ah! Nnnnghhh...Ro-saaaahhhhh..." Tsuki's traitorous body arched into the hold, allowing more of himself to be stroked.

Realizing he wouldn't be able to muffle the man completely, Roppi lowered his mouth to Tsuki's, licking along his teeth. The blonde kissed him back messily, their tongues battling to stay in their mouths but failing miserably. The raven smirked and licked a hot trail along the taller man's jaw, loving how tightly he was being held.

"Can't..._Ahhh_...R-Roppi-sa...Gonna..." The blonde groaned, his head sinking back into the pillows.

"Then come for me, Tsuki." Roppi purred, going even faster.

"Hahhhhhhh...Ro-Roppi-saannnnnnn~!"

He felt the liquid in his hand as he watched Tsuki bite his bottom lip, his eyes clenched shut. His breathing was ragged and deep as he tried to collect himself. He looked up at the raven through hazy red eyes.

Roppi had his hand raised to his lips, licking the release on his fingers. He purred happily at the taste, moaning as he met eyes with Tsuki.

"S-Stop! You-You're going to make me hard again!" the blonde hissed, snatching the hand away from Roppi. He paused when he felt something wet on his skin.

There was blood dripping on his abdomen, where Roppi's left hand was rested. He looked alarmingly at at the smaller man, who was looking at the blood with a scowl on his face.

"Roppi-san?" Tsuki whimpered, forgetting his afterglow and tugging the sleeve up. There was blood soaking through the bandages.

_"Well fuck my life." _

_[Hey, don't stop. Me, I'm not. Hey, don't stop. Me, I'm not.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Sorry! I've been preoccupied recently so I couldn't update this story till now..._

_Roppi: *checks website* It says you've updated your Shizaya fic twice since you've last updated this one._

_ Tsuki: You hate us!_

_ Sachi: N-No! That one is just more popular and it's almost over and they reviewed that they would die if i didn't update!_

_ Roppi: Well, I'll die if you don't update this story more!_

_ Sachi: Noooo! Too much pressure!_

_ Tsuki: Eh...Um, review? *hides in scarf*_


	13. Chapter 13

_My mood writing this chapter? "I got a full can of Monster...let's do this bitch!" This chapter is a little dark but...c'mon, it's a Tsukioppi! :D_

_Hurt_

_(Johnny Cash)_

_[I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. The needle tears a hole, that old familiar sting. Try to kill it all away, but I remember everything.]_

They sat in the bathroom together, neither saying a word. Tsuki was cleaning up the wounds Roppi had inflicted on himself. Large hands were dabbing at the bloody mess with a wet piece of toilet paper. Tsuki's red eyes were stern, and Roppi knew a lecture was inevitable.

"Aren't you going to yell at me? Tell me off for what I did? I know you want to." the raven sighed.

"No. I want to. I _really _want to. But I think a lecture is the last thing you need right now." Tsuki replied, his eyes never leaving the torn flesh.

_ "What a weird response..."_

"Tsuki...look at me."

The blonde complied, his jaw set as he stared up at his roommate's face.

"I didn't do it to hurt you."

"Well, you did. So bonus points for you."

"Would you stop it? If you're mad, then yell at me! Stop being so fucking passive aggressive!" Roppi spat, his temper flaring.

"And what am I supposed to say, huh? Do you want me to tell you how bad it hurts seeing your arm like this? How bad it is after seeing Anri-chan kill herself? How...used I feel...?" Tsuki snapped, his voice breaking toward the end.

Roppi froze. Used? Why would the blonde feel used?

"Tsuki...I don't understand what you mean by 'used'."

"You used your body to distract me so I wouldn't notice your arm."

"That's not even true! I did that for you! It was to help you feel better!"

"Well, great job! Now every time I have an orgasm I'll think of your bleeding wrist." Tsuki's voice was filled with venom.

"That's what you think of me? You think I use people to make myself feel better? Well, fuck you! I don't care about _anyone! _And I especially don't care enough about myself to try and cheer myself up!" Roppi snarled, yanking his arm away.

What the blonde just said... It really hurt.

"Then why would you do it? You don't really care about me, do you? I'm just a hindrance to your alone time! So why would you give me...a hand job unless it was just a distraction?"

"God, you're an idiot...Just shut up, Tsuki. Go back to the room and keep making this all about you..." The raven put his hands over his face, sighing in irritation.

"Roppi-san... Tell me why you did that to me..."

"Because I wanted to."

"But why?"

The shorter male snapped his head back up, his eyes blazing like fire.

"I don't fucking know alright? I don't know! You've been depressed and it makes my head hurt! When you talk all the time I want to slap you but...when you don't talk at all I just...I was lost..."

"Roppi-san..."

"I'm not good...at comforting people... Fuck, I'm not even good at talking to people...so I just acted on impulse..."

Tsuki moved closer, taking the raven's head between his hands and pulling him to rest against his own shoulder.

"I'm sorry... I should've been there for you too, Roppi-san... Even if you don't say it, I know seeing Anri-chan like that messed you up too..."

Then the fucking image came back. The one where it was Anri dead, but it dissolved and was replaced with his mother...

Roppi shivered, and clung to the oaf desperately.

"It's alright... I've got you..." Tsuki tried to comfort. Even though he was better at it than Roppi, he still didn't have much experience in being soothing.

"It's not...Tsuki, it's not alright... You don't understand..."

The blonde blinked as moisture invaded the collar of his shirt.

Roppi...was crying?

"R-Rop-"

"I killed her! I killed her like I killed my mother! Everyone dies because of me!"

"Whoa, wait... They both killed themselves... How is that your fault?"

Roppi's hands dug into Tsuki's skin on his back as the tremors racked his body.

"My mother died because I wasn't there to save her...and I told Anri to find a way out for both of us..."

"Roppi-san, none of those things are your fault. Your mother did drugs, right? And Anri-chan was really unstable... That's why she was in here. Her parents caught her trying to kill herself because she gained a few pounds... It's not your fault." Tsuki cooed, running his hands through raven hair.

"Tsuki...Tsuki..."

"I know. I'm here..."

The blonde held him tightly as he let out his frustrations. Obviously the male had been burying these things down. Didn't he know that's what therapy was for?

"What did you cut yourself with anyway?" Tsuki asked suddenly as the raven's shaking subsided.

"If I tell you, you'll just take it from me..." Roppi huffed, leaning back to look into Tsuki's eyes.

"Y-You're still going to do this? I thought it was because you were depressed about Anri-"

"Tsuki, I'll never stop. I can't. Don't you see...? This," he motioned to his arm, "is the only thing that can help me..."

Tsuki's eyes widened as he looked at the near hysterical look on Roppi's face.

"I-I don't want-"

"No, Tsuki, you need to look..." The raven's voice was low as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a shiny letter opener. He lifted it to his skin and placed the sharp surface against his skin as he looked up at his roommate.

"Roppi-san..." The blonde looked ready to cry. "Please..."

Roppi applied force, closing his eyes as the pain seared through his arm. It felt so good...so right... So why was Tsuki tugging the blade away like it was wrong?

"Stop! Stop! Please, stop it!"

The shorter male observed the thin layer of blood oozing from his new wounds before he leaned forward on the blonde's shoulder, his lips ghosting the shell of the larger man's ear.

"Tsuki... Sometimes I _pray _for the courage to push down harder...so I can disappear..."

Tsuki gave a tiny sob as he pulled the lithe body closer, snatching the letter opener away from the delusional male.

"No... Don't say that! I just...I want you to be okay...without having to do that... Please don't do it anymore..."

"I have to. It's not hurting you." Roppi said stubbornly. The blonde growled lowly, his Heiwajima temper flaring again.

"Doesn't hurt me? It hurts like hell! How would you feel if I did this to myself and you had to watch me?" he snarled. Roppi's face remained passive.

Angrily, Tsuki pulled his own sleeve up and put the blade against his skin. Roppi's eyes widened considerably and he opened his mouth to say something but...

Tsuki pressed down.

The pain was instant. It shot from his arm and started oozing down his skin. He didn't cut too hard, but it was deep enough that it would probably bleed for a while. He bit his lip as he willed the pain to go away. How on Earth could the raven like this feeling?

"Tsuki..."

Roppi leaned forward, taking the blade from him and throwing it to the ground. It clattered loudly on the tile floor. He lifted the blonde's wounded arm and observed the newly inflicted slash, his eyes glued to the torn skin.

Then... he licked the blood off the wound.

It was strange... If this was anyone else, Tsuki would push them off and tell them it was disgusting. But this was Roppi.

Roppi was _licking _him. And it was pretty hot even if it was unsanitary.

"I'm making you a promise, Tsuki..." the raven purred as he pulled away.

"A p-promise?"

"A blood promise."

And suddenly, Tsuki understood what to do. He lifted Roppi's arm, and ran his tongue across the torn flesh, keeping his eyes locked to the shorter male's. Roppi smirked, and pulled his arm away, replacing it with his mouth.

The iron taste of blood was in the kiss as they sucked on each other's tongues. It was disgusting. It was awful. So why the fuck was it so sexy?

Roppi mewled into his mouth, their lips remaining locked in a passionate duel. Tsuki dug his teeth into the raven's bottom lip, tugging at the flesh as they broke apart.

"I won't cut myself anymore...if you help me when I need to vent." Roppi whispered.

"H-How can I help you...?" Tsuki asked, his breathing ragged.

"We'll think of something." Roppi purred, tugging the taller man's hips against his own roughly.

"Ahh...Roppi-sa..."

"Yeah, this is a good way..."

Some sort of animal instinct clicked into Tsuki's brain as he felt his body grow hot again. He understood now...he had to help the raven release the pressure in his body.

So that's what he did.

The blonde used his strength to lift the smaller man and press him against the wall. He placed his hands on thin thighs, spreading them to situate himself between them. Then, he rocked his own hips forward.

"Hahhhh! Ts-Tsuki~"

Interesting.

He picked up speed, lifting the raven's body slightly to give them more leverage. Repeatedly, he slammed their hips together, loving the mewls and purrs coming from Roppi.

The smaller man made a gargled noise as he wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck, lifting his hips to meet Tsuki's, thrust for thrust.

It was raw. It was passionate. It was painful and pleasurable all at once. It was what Roppi needed. He released a breathy moan against Tsuki's ear, making the blonde growl and capture his lips again.

The feel of a razorblade made him feel this way. It used to be the only thing...But now, Tsuki was here.

Tsuki would fix him.

Tsuki would make it all better.

Tsuki was...increasing his pace.

"Hahhh~! T-Tsuki...Mnnnn..." Roppi groaned as his head was emptied of everything except the pleasure.

"So good, Roppi-san..." Tsuki whispered, slamming back down. Roppi wrapped his legs around the man's waist, giving them a better angle.

"Don't stop...Please..."

The blonde growled possessively, riding against him again and again. They were basically slamming into the wall, neither caring of any potential witnesses. They connected their mouths again, tasting every bit of each other they could as they swallowed the moans.

Every feeling kept coming until it escalated into something...feral. Roppi tried not to scream as he saw white, his head slamming back against the hard wall as he came. He bit his lip trying to muffle himself as the blonde continued to violently grind against him. Then, Tsuki hissed loudly, biting into Roppi's flesh as he went over the edge.

It was an intense feeling that had both of them exhausted...and addicted.

This was easily going to be a new fix.

They were becoming addicted to each other.

"Hahhh...Can you...walk, Roppi-san?" Tsuki asked quietly, trying to catch his breath. The raven shook his head, too out of breath to speak.

The blonde adjusted their position, tossing Roppi on his back and holding on to his legs.

"Hold on to me..." he said as he began to walk toward their room. The raven complied and held onto him tightly, burying his face in the taller man's shoulder.

They made their way through the main room. It was mostly empty, save for Mikado and Masaomi, who were watching a movie on the television. And...Mika and Seiji... She was asleep in his lap. He looked up at the pair, his eyes narrowing as he observed the scene. Tsuki tightened his grip on Roppi, wanting to take him somewhere safe.

As they passed the rooms of the other patients, making their way to their own, both had a content smile on their faces.

Even if they were fucked up, they had each other. And that alone was a blessing neither man had ever had before.

In the quiet of the night, they reached their room and snuggled close, going to sleep.

Down the hall, Erika was disturbed.

"I feel like I just missed something EPIC!"

_[And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down; I will make you hurt.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Yeah...um, you know how when you write, you put yourself in the place of the characters? Well, in this chapter, I feel a little...dark. _

_Roppi: Join the club._

_Tsuki: You made me cut myself!_

_Sachi: Yeah...You'll be strong... Anywho, review for virtual love! (And imaginary cookies!) By the way, if you haven't ever heard Johnny Cash sing this song...listen to it and I guarantee you'll see why it's the base for this chapter._


	14. Chapter 14

_Finally, an update! Sorry to those who have been waiting... Meh, I need to be more consistent on ALL stories instead of focusing on just one at a time...But I probably won't. Just saying... Haha, enjoy~!_

_Head Over Heels_

_(Tears for Fears)_

_[I wanted to be with you alone, and talk about the weather. But traditions I can trace against the child in your face, won't escape my attention.]_

Roppi opened his eyes wearily. He had a dreamless sleep, the first one he had since Anri's death. He knew immediately that it was because of the blonde.

Tsuki was lying next to him, curled into the sheets. His arm was haphazardly thrown over the raven's torso. He had a small smile on his face. The 'treatment' they had decided on was affecting both of them in a positive way.

Roppi couldn't understand what the feeling was that the tall oaf filled him with. It was like lightning in his veins. It made him happier than he had ever been, yet more scared than he ever remembered feeling. He wasn't used to being attached to someone this much. The only person in the world he had ever truly felt anything more than hate for was Izaya. And here he was, locked up _without _Izaya, and he was doing fine.

If he could keep the blonde around, he felt like he could honestly give up cutting himself. The relief that their activities from the night before brought him into a sense of peace greater than any razor blade had ever brought him. It was more than sex. It was a connection between the two of them. They had felt it since their meeting. Now it was more like a fire than a lightning shock.

Roppi scooted closer to the blonde and nuzzled into his shoulder.

"Tsuki...It's time to wake up." he whispered.

"Nnnn...Noouuuuuuuu..." Tsuki whined, curling closer against the lithe body in his arms.

"Alright. I'll just go see if Seiji wants to hang out with me today." Roppi smirked.

"No!"

"Ahh, so you're awake now?"

"Don't even joke about that! He's a psychopath! Roppi-san needs to stay here with me." Tsuki sighed contently, burying his face in black hair.

"Ugh, come on Tsuki. You don't want to eat breakfast with me today?" Roppi purred.

"You never eat anyway."

"Well now I'm starving. You exhausted me so much that I need more energy."

Tsuki removed himself from the raven's neck and looked up at him hopefully.

"Really? You'll actually eat with me? You're not going to starve yourself anymore?"

"I promise, Tsuki. We made a blood oath together. As long as I have you here, I'll stop self-destructing." Roppi told him genuinely.

"R-Roppi-san..."

"Now come on. Either get up and eat with me or I'll just have to leave you here."

"I'm coming!" Tsuki exclaimed, jumping from the bed. He pulled a crisp white T-shirt over his head and began to get his scarf when the raven stopped him.

"Tsuki, you have to wear long sleeves today."

"Eh? Why?"

"To cover up the cut you gave yourself. If the doctor's see that then you'll be in trouble. They may make you stay even longer if they start feeling like you're suicidal." Roppi explained.

"O-Oh...Right." Tsuki shivered at the thought and quickly went to the chest to pull out a gray sweater. He then put his scarf around his neck and placed his glasses on his nose. He looked over at the raven, who was sporting a black V-neck shirt with red trim.

"Ready?" Roppi asked him, pulling his jacket on.

"W-Wait..." Tsuki said quietly, walking over to the perfect creature and holding both sides of his head as he observed the smaller man.

He still couldn't believe how lucky he was to have Roppi. Even if they were both pretty fucked up, at least they had each other. It was an amazing feeling to have a reason to wake up everyday. It was something he hadn't really ever had. So he took this opportunity to press his lips to the raven's.

"Mmmm, well good morning to you too." Roppi grinned at him when they parted.

"Roppi-san...Thank you..."

"For what?"

"Just...thank you..."

"You're so weird sometimes... Come on then. I'm really hungry." Roppi sighed, grabbing the man's hand as they left the room.

"Whooo! Why don't you two strip and have at it right here?" Erika called from down the hall when she saw them.

"Erika! You're being vulgar again! You know the characters never have sex in public unless it's just a hentai manga!" Walker chastised from beside her.

"No, it would be a yaoi manga! And public sex is perfectly acceptable since it's just us two that would be watching!" she argued.

"I-I don't wanna have sex in public..." Tsuki whimpered, his face red.

"But you do it in private? I KNEW IT! Yaoi has never failed me!"

"Erika!"

"Let's just go..." Roppi sighed, tugging on the male who was frozen with embarrassment.

They made their way to the cafeteria to get breakfast. Tsuki noticed an immediate change in Roppi's demeanor. The raven looked...cheerful. His garnet eyes were shiny and he was actually smiling every now and then at the things they were discussing. He got food from Simon and was really eating it this time. Tsuki was grinning like an idiot as he watched his roommate.

"What?" Roppi asked him after he swallowed a bite of his toast. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You just make me happy, Roppi-san." Tsuki said, shaking his head.

The raven raised an eyebrow as he observed the blonde's expression.

"Well, I'm just returning the favor."

"I make you happy?" the taller man asked, his eyes wide.

"Of course. I thought I made that clear already."

"You know I'm stupid. I have to have things explained to me." Tsuki grinned.

"Don't call yourself stupid. Only I can call you stupid, stupid."

"Heh...Sorry."

"But yes, you make me happy. That's why I like being around you." Roppi informed him, turning back to his breakfast.

If an asteroid hit the Earth right then, Tsuki could have died happy.

Roppi had to go talk to Dr. Kishitani that afternoon. All the patients were required to talk to him once a week, and today was the raven's turn. He walked into the large office to observe the man sitting with the woman named Celty.

"Celty...I wish you would talk to me..." he cooed in a voice _not _used for therapy sessions. It was more like a voice used to flirt with someone.

"..." Celty looked at him through her red hair.

"Um... Should I come back later?" Roppi asked from the door. This looked kind of private.

"No, no. I'm just trying to convince Ms. Sturluson that she does indeed have a head..." the doctor sighed, taking off his glasses and rubbing them clean through his white coat sleeve.

"Celty is a strange name. She's not from here, is she?" Roppi asked, taking a seat beside the woman. Her teal eyes locked on him.

"No, she's from Ireland." Shinra explained.

"Ms. Sturluson, what happened to your head?" Roppi asked in a low voice, leaning toward the woman. Her eyes widened considerably and she pulled out her little PDA and typed on it.

_[Alien abduction.]_

"Aliens? I never knew they were real." Roppi remarked.

_[THEY ARE! I've seen them! They took my head because it was full of memories from seeing them!]_

"Oh, I get it. They don't want anyone to know of their existence."

_[Right! So don't tell anyone or they'll take your head too!]_

Shinra was watching the whole exchange with a smile on his face. Celty never talked to anyone so openly except for him.

"Celty, would you like to sit in in our session? If it's okay with Orihara-san." the spectacled man remarked.

"I don't mind." Roppi said.

_[That'd be nice...]_

"Alright then, it's settled. Tell me what's been new this week." Shinra said, taking out his notes.

"Do you believe in the definition of irony?" Roppi asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Irony? What of it?"

"Well, you know my cousin. He hates Shizuo Heiwajima, correct?"

'Yes...Those two fight like cats and dogs..." Shinra shivered.

"I'm really good friends with his younger brother. Tsuki is my roommate, and we get along great. It's just...weird."

"Ah, well Tsukishima _does _look just like Shizuo. And you look remarkably like Izaya. It is a little strange to watch you walk down the hallway together. Sometimes I feel like he may pick up a vending machine and throw it at you or something. Like in high school."

"A _vending machine?_"

"Yes. That's the kind of thing Shizuo throws at Izaya."

"I've never actually seen them fight. I've seen Shizuo chase him, but never throw something. Anyway, I've just been thinking of how ironic my life has become." Roppi continued.

"Do tell."

"I spent so long trying to kill myself. I realize that now. I wasn't hurting myself just to do it. I wanted to die. I was just too afraid to actually do it all at once, so I was doing it slowly."

Shinra wrote this down as Celty lowered his gaze to her lap.'

"Now though...I'm locked up in this place against my will...but if you told me to leave right now, I wouldn't. I don't know...I just feel more sane in here than I ever felt out there..."

"Yes, that's because you're with people who understand you." Shinra observed.

"No. It's because my roommate understands me. And I'm not leaving this hellhole without him." Roppi huffed.

"Tsukishima is here for a reason too, Orihara-san."

"I know that. He told me. But I can't leave him here. And honestly...I feel like if we stay together we can be closer to sane than we can apart from each other."

"Both of you have more time to spend here together. Isn't that enough for now? There's always time to plan ahead, but for now you should focus on your treatment."

"I realize that. I'm just telling you where my mind has been." The raven finished.

"I see. Does he feel the same way you do?"

"What way is that?"  
"It seems to me that you're in love with him."

_"What. The. Fuck."_

Was he in love with Tsuki? Really, he had no idea what love was, or what it felt like. He had felt nothing but hate for so long that it was almost all he knew. But Tsuki...

Tsuki was different...

"Am I wrong?" the doctor pressed.

Instead of an answer, Roppi just shrugged. He didn't want to discuss this anymore.

"Hm... You are aware of our Christmas dinner here tomorrow night, correct?" Shinra asked, changing the subject.

"Yes. Masaomi told me."

"Is...Is Izaya...coming?"

"Yes."

The look on Shinra's face was one of pure terror.

"Shizuo will be here for Tsukishima..." he whimpered.

"Mm-hmm."

"Dear God..." Shinra flopped his head on his desk. "This will be just like high school all over again!" he wailed.

"Maybe not. Maybe we can just stay separated from each other."

"If you and Tsukishima are friends, then how will that be possible?" the doctor looked up at him.

"I don't know. I was just trying to cheer you up. Besides, Izaya wants to meet Tsuki. I haven't told Tsuki that yet though, because he's terrified of Izaya. I think Shizuo must have scared him."

_[How bad can they be? There are guards everywhere.] _Celty's PDA read.

"Oh, sweet Celty... Shizuo can take out an army by himself and Izaya can make them all kill themselves just from a few words..." Shinra told her.

She looked over at Roppi in surprise, her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, that's kind of true..." he said.

_[Maybe I'll stay in my room tomorrow night...]_

"No, fear not! I'll save you Celty! You can eat with me!"

She looked at him through her blue eyes, her gaze filled with joy at the thought of it.

"Um...Can I go now? I kind of need to talk to Tsuki about tomorrow..." Roppi sighed, shifting away from the romantic tension.

"Eh? Oh, yes! But remember, Orihara-san! You need to tell Tsukishima of your feelings! Only then will you know of his!" Shinra exclaimed, looking away from the Irish woman to stare at the raven.

"Right back at you, doc." Roppi smirked, stepping out of the office.

Tsuki was on their shared bed, looking through an old sketch book. He looked up at his roommate.

"Roppi-san! How did it go?"

"Good, I guess. There was so much tension in the room because Celty was there the whole time."

"Celty? What do you mean by tension?"

"Come on, Tsuki. Dr. Kishitani is in love with her." Roppi rolled his eyes.

"R-Really?"

"Yes, _really._ I can't believe you never noticed!"

"Wow...Well, good luck to them then!" Tsuki grinned.

"What are you looking at?" Roppi asked, pointing to the sketch book on the bed.

"Oh, it's the first book I filled up when I got here..."

"Can I see?"

"T-They're not very good...They're old and dingy..."

"Can I see anyway?" Roppi purred. Instead of responding, the blonde shoved it toward the smaller man, his gaze directed at the floor.

The drawings were...sad. Mostly in black and white, the pages were covered in pictures of burning houses, dead flowers, desolate landscapes.

The kind of thing Roppi would draw.

"You were really depressed." he remarked, running his fingers over a picture of a crying boy.

"Y-Yeah... They're bad, like I said. Here..." the blonde said, shoving a newer book on the bed. "This is my latest stuff."

Roppi took it and started flipping through the pages. He froze.

There were pictures of him all over these pages. There was one of him asleep. One of him drawing. One of him crying. A lot of him smiling...

"Tsuki..."

"I-I tried to draw...what makes me happy..." the blonde muttered.

"They...I...love them..."

"Really? You do? You don't think they're creepy?" Tsuki asked hopefully.

"No, not at all. No worse than me drawing you..."

At the back, shoved in with the rest of the drawing, was the one he had drawn of Tsuki on his first day.

"You...saved this?"

"I r-really liked it..."

Roppi closed the book and leaned toward the blonde. He connected their lips and wrapped his hands in the ends of the white scarf.

"R-Roppi-san..."

"Shut up and kiss me back."

So he did. He climbed over the raven and settled their bodies into the bed, pushing the smaller man into the mattress. He heatedly forced his mouth against Roppi's, wrapping their tongues together.

"Shinra...told me I should tell you how I feel... But, Tsuki, I don't know how I feel... I really like being around you... But I don't know what that means yet..." Roppi whispered when they parted for air. Tsuki leaned their foreheads together, tangling yellow with black.

"Would it help if I told you how I feel?" he asked. Roppi nodded.

"I think I'm in love with you..."

There was silence filled with their quick breaths and fast heartbeats. The air was suddenly quite heated, almost unbearable. Roppi's heart was pounding in his ears as he looked into the blonde's eyes.

"...Me too..."

And words were no more for the moment as their lips met again.

For now, Roppi wanted to bask in this moment with the blonde. He would tell him about Izaya tomorrow.

After all, they had a whole night and half a day until Shizuo and Izaya would be in the same room together.

As Shinra had said earlier, may God help them all when that happened.

_[Something happens and I'm head over heels. I never find out, till I'm head over heels.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Yes, lengthy update! I feel nice!_

_ Roppi: Finally, you update. You're an awful person to rely on._

_ Sachi: But I gave you a love scene!_

_ Tsuki: I liked it! I really did!_

_ Roppi: Ugh...me too..._

_ Sachi: Yayyyy~! Review for virtual love and I promise I'll update faster this time! Love all of you!_


	15. Chapter 15

_Muahahaha! A faster update! I told you I'd update uber fast! So, virtual love, as promised! (I haven't done this since I finished 'Psychosomatic Monsters', so I'm excited.) __TinkanaiT32__, NOOOO, you can't find another Tsukioppi story and leave me! I swear I'll be more consistent! I loooovvvvveeee you! __erihan__, hahaha! Yes, Shizuo should throw crazy people at Izaya! __Threegreenbeans__, I KNEW you and I would be fast friends! I've currently been obsessing over South Park too! It's weird, because it's just a funny show in general and truly isn't meant to have any romantic tension. (I know this.) Yet, I'm a supporter of Stan x Kyle. (Style) If you're like, "WTF Sachi? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" Go to my favorite stories list and read the South Park story I have saved by __xXTweekersXx__. You'll see. You'll ALL SEE! Meh. Anywho, __Insol-chan__, yay, a heart shaped cookie! I'm honored to receive a review from someone who never reviews! I feel those are truly heartfelt. Hope to receive more from you! __FallingforWerewolves__, I know right? Those two are crazy bad! I'm glad I get to work with them again! __Paranormal Alchemist__, don't shove Bibles into meeeee! I'm sorrrrrryyyyyy! I'm glad you like my story! I'd love to be a psychologist too. Nah, Psychiatrist. That way, I can hand out the drugs. Hehe. So, now that I'm done rambling, on with the story! (Totally just had another 'Psychosomatic Monsters' moment...I truly need to move on...)_

_Schism_

_(Tool)_

_[I know the pieces fit, 'cause I watched them fall away. Mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing. Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lover's souls in motion. Disintegrating as it goes, testing our communication.]_

Today. Today was the day that everyone's families would arrive for Christmas. Technically, it was only December 18th, but they had it early so the families could celebrate with other members _not _locked in a loony bin.

Sadly, Roppi was actually excited to see Izaya. Despite Shinra's fear and Tsuki's 'Oh dear Lord, NO', he missed his cousin. He truly did. They spent so much time together, it was hard not to. Speaking of which...he still had to tell Tsuki what to expect from Izaya's visit. He hadn't told the oaf yet that his cousin wanted to meet him. But, no time like the present, ne?

"Hey, Tsuki. I need to talk to you." Roppi said calmly, looking up from his sketch book. They were in their room today. All sessions had been cancelled so the doctors could arrange the cafeteria to host such a large gathering of people. (Technically, the nurses did most of the work and the doctors just sat around, but whatever.)

"Eh? W-What is it?" Tsuki asked, immediately looking scared. He had his head in the raven's lap, absorbed in a comic book.

"Calm down. It's nothing too bad. It's about Izaya."

"N-Not b-bad?"

"He wants to meet you."

There was a long pause. Tsuki looked like he swallowed something entirely too sour and couldn't quite get the taste out of his mouth.

"Meet m-me?" he stuttered.

"Tsuki, please stop freaking out. You're stuttering again, I can tell when you're freaking out. Look, he's just one guy. It's not like he can hurt you or anything." Roppi assured him.

"B-but why does he w-want to m-meet me?"

"I told him I like you."

Tsuki's face softened into a gentle smile at these words. He sighed, running his hands through blonde locks.

"Shizuo wants to meet you too...I didn't tell him you were an Orihara...but he'll probably notice when he sees you. Still though...I'm glad to meet your family..."

"Me too. Izaya is an asshole, but he means a lot to me for whatever reason. It'll be fine." the raven grinned, turning back to his sketch.

"He doesn't sound so bad when you talk about him..." the blonde murmured.

"One more thing though. Try not to tell him anything too personal about you. He likes to get inside people's heads and drive them crazy. So just tell him your name and try to leave it at that." Roppi added.

Tsuki's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

* * *

The cafeteria was rearranged. Instead of large tables, there were smaller, circular tables scattered throughout the room. Tsuki was holding Roppi's hand, watching the unfamiliar strangers walk in.

"Aren't you here for this every year? Why are you nervous?" the raven asked.

"I-I just...the crowds..." Tsuki muttered, shifting on his feet.

"It'll be fine. Don't you trust me? I'm here with you to protect you." Roppi said quietly. His hand received a gentle squeeze at his words.

"I'm glad you're here with me..."

"Yeah, me too."

They took a seat at one of the empty tables, waiting for their families to arrive. Tsuki was bouncing in the chair nervously.

"Tsuki, seriously. Calm down." Roppi sighed, running his hand over the blonde's spine in a soothing motion.

"I-I'm trying..."

Roppi leaned into him, putting all his body weight on the taller man. He was still running his hands over his spine, moving them every now and then to apply pressure to the blonde's shoulders.

"R-Roppi-san..."

"Shhhh. Let me take care of you." Roppi purred, using his words from earlier. Gently, he placed his lips against Tsuki's temple and kissed him. Immediately, the oaf stopped trembling. Smirking, the raven moved back to his own chair.

"See? I helped." he remarked.

"Thank you..." Tsuki whispered, leaning over to kiss Roppi softly.

"Ahem..." a voice sounded over them. They turned to see Dr. Kishitani and Celty.

"Um...I see you're sitting together...so I guess Izaya and Shizuo are sitting together..." he said quietly.

"Yeah. Izaya wants to meet him and Shizuo wants to meet me." Roppi said calmly.

"I… Please make them behave! Please! They've scarred me enough from high school, I don't need any more of their terror!" the doctor wailed.

_[Don't mind him. He's had a few glasses of wine with the other doctor's.] _Celty's PDA read as she shoved it in their faces.

"Ah, I see. Well, Dr. Kishitani, I assure you, things will work out fine. And if they don't, at least it'll be an interesting dinner." The raven said nonchalantly.

Tsuki's head snapped to attention as two men walked in across the room. He stood up so fast it had Roppi jumping a little.

"Shizuo! Kasuka! Over here!" the blonde yelled to the two silhouettes.

Roppi looked up in time to see a man who looked just like Tsuki, but rougher. He had chocolate brown eyes and a scowl on his face. Beside him, there was a man with gentle features. He had dark brown hair and a bored expression on his face. Both smiled a bit when they saw Tsuki.

"Hey, Tsuki." Shizuo greeted, ruffling the oaf's hair a little as they met.

"Tsuki." Kasuka stated in a monotone voice.

"I- I want you to m-meet my roommate…" Tsuki's voice trailed off as he pointed to Roppi. Three sets of eyes rested on the raven.

"IZAYA!" Shizuo snarled, starting forward. Tsuki caught him around the waist.

"No, brother! He's Izaya's cousin! T-This is Roppi-san!" he whimpered.

"He looks just like the fucking flea! Why didn't you tell me you were sharing a room with a bloodsucker?" the older blonde growled, his gaze resting on the calm features of the raven.

"Nice to meet you." Kasuka said, reaching out his hand. Roppi took it and greeted him.

"Kasuka! Don't support this!" Shizuo snarled.

"Shizuo-san, I am nothing like my cousin aside from our looks. If you can't get past what's on the outside, then I suggest you take a lesson from Tsuki. He likes me just fine."  
Roppi shrugged.

"Y-Yeah…I r-really like him…" Tsuki mumbled, fiddling with his scarf.

Shizuo's face softened as he stared at his little brother, then at Roppi. He sighed loudly.

"Fine! Fine, I'm Shizuo. Your name is Roppi? Is your last name Orihara like the flea's?"

"Yes. We're related from my father's side."

"Cool. I guess…"

Tsuki beamed at the simple exchange, happy that their meeting wasn't entirely catastrophic. Then again, Izaya wasn't here yet.

"How do these things work anyway?" Roppi asked Tsuki as they all sat down. "Is it like a buffet deal, or do they bring us food?"

"It's like every day. We have to go get it once it's ready. Y-You're eating…right?"

"I promised I would."

The blonde stroked the raven's face gently, pushing black bangs away from his forehead. Roppi smiled at him and ruffled yellow locks, messing them up more than they already were. They forgot there were two other watching their every move.

"You two seem very well acquainted." Kasuka stated blandly.

"Eh…Y-Yeah…" Tsuki stammered.

Roppi smirked at them, before he looked around the room at the other families. Seiji was standing beside his sister. She was pretty much all over him. He wondered if she, like Shinra, had been drinking. Surprisingly, it wasn't that full.

"Everyone must not have very many family members…" the raven observed.

"No… It's really sad. Most people here are orphans. Anri-chan's parents usually came…" Tsuki responded. That reminded Roppi of something.

"About that. You said her parents stuck her in here…she told me her parents were dead and her aunt and uncle put her in here…"

"Eh? I don't think so… She told us it was her parents… Maybe she just didn't want to share too much with everyone…"

"Anri? Isn't she the anorexic girl?" Shizuo asked from across the table.

"Y-Yeah…she killed herself…"

"WHAT?"

"Shizuo! Be quiet!" Kasuka chastised. "When did this happen?"

"A few days ago… She hung herself with bed sheets…" the younger blonde responded.

"He didn't tell you because it hurts for him to talk about it." Roppi said, placing a hand on Tsuki's shoulder.

"Hmph. Seems this place isn't very tight on security if people can just off themselves whenever they want." Shizuo huffed.

"I don't-" Roppi began, but was cut off.

"ROPPI-CHAAAAN!" an irritatingly familiar voice rang from across the room. Roppi looked up in time to see Izaya Orihara, in all his self-aggrandizing glory, skipping past Seiji and Namie. Seiji watched him pass, a smirk on his face. Namie glared at him for being loud.

Roppi stood from his chair, waiting for the inevitable. It was always this way whenever he went days without seeing the elder raven. Izaya thrust himself into his arms.

"Roppi-chan~! Ne, I missed you! Is it amazing here? It looks like fun!" Izaya grinned, craning his neck to look at the patients.

"Izaya… It's an institution. It's not fun." Roppi said dryly.

"You're so boooring. It's obviously a madhouse. Madhouses are fun."

"Izaaaayaaaaaa~." A growl sounded from behind them. A smile immediately graced Izaya's face as he turned to face the brute.

"Shizu-chan! How good to see you!" he grinned.

"Don't start that shit with me! My name is not 'Shizu-chan'!"

"You're so mean to me! All I'm doing is playing with my Roppi-chan! It's not our playtime right now~." Izaya purred. Shizuo's face turned red.

_"Yeah. Definitely love." _Roppi thought smugly.

"Look, I promised Dr. Kishitani that you two wouldn't destroy the place so…cool it."

"Eh? Shinra's here?" Izaya asked, standing on his tiptoes to see over everyone's heads.

"Don't bother him, flea! He's busy enough without having to deal with you!" Shizuo growled.

The elder raven stuck his tongue out at the blonde, draping an arm over Roppi's shoulders.

"Ne, Roppi-chan. Is this Tsukishima?" Izaya asked.

Tsuki froze as he watched Roppi nod. Izaya's crimson eyes were on him. He felt like the knew everything about him the second he had to look into them. Just who _was _this man?

"So glad to meet you! Anyone who can make Roppi-chan less evil is fine by me." Izaya smirked.

"E-Eh…T-Thank y-you…" Tsuki managed.

"Stuttering? You have panic issues? Is that why you're here?" Izaya asked, still looking into the younger blonde's eyes.

"Y-Yeah…"

"These crowds must be awful for you. I'll bet you wish they would all…_go away._"

"Wha- No!"

"Oh please, Tsuki-chan. It's all over your face. The eyes of a murderer are never hard to miss~."

"Izaya!" Roppi growled as the blonde's eyes grew considerably.

"Flea, if you don't stop harassing my brother, I'll snap your fucking neck." Shizuo snarled.

"I'm not harassing anyone. I assure you, I like Tsuki-chan. I am curious as to why he's wearing a scarf indoors though…"

"I-I uh… I think dinner's ready!" Tsuki yelped, grabbing Roppi's hand and tugging him away from the table. "We'll get you guy's food! Stay here!"

They made their way to the line, Roppi being dragged the whole way.

"Are you alright?" he asked his roommate.

"H-How does he _do _that? How did he know?"

"That's just Izaya. He's always like that. I'd tell you he's a nice guy, but he's not. He's an asshole. Just stop telling him stuff."

"I didn't tell him anything! He just knew!"

"No. He makes assumptions. Based on your reaction, he can tell. You just need to keep your emotions in check or he _will _play you. Just do what I do." Roppi shrugged.

"What do you do?"

"Ignore him. Haha, let him play with Shizuo. Those two can destroy this place if it'll make him leave you alone and make you feel better." The raven laughed.

"Y-Yeah…I don't know how Shizuo does it…but he doesn't seem scared of him."

"See? It'll be fine. I won't let him torture you too much."

They got as much as they could carry, A smorgasbord of different foods from Simon. Sadly, there was still no sushi.

"Shizu-chaaaaan~! I heard you were on a rampage the other day!" Izaya was saying when they returned.

"You sent those little punks after me! We both know that!" Shizuo growled.

"Me? Never! You need to have a little faith in me. I only do things to help you."

"BULLSHIT! You do things to piss me off!"

"Language, my dear protozoan. Without me your life would be boring." Izaya grinned.

"It'd be peaceful! Like I want!"

"Boo. Peaceful is boring. I'm making it fun for you. This way, you'll never get out of shape~. Can't have you losing that gorgeous body."

"What the fuck?"

"Izaya… Can't you behave for 5 minutes?" Roppi sighed as he resumed his place beside his cousin.

"Being bad is just so fun! Right, Shizu-chan?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"I-Izaya-san… You're friends with Kyohei Kadota, right?" Tsuki asked quietly. Roppi turned to him in surprise.

"Eh? Dota-chin? Yes, why?" Izaya asked, turning his gaze from Shizuo to Tsuki.

"W-Well he's h-here too…"

"Really? Is our whole graduating class here?" Izaya asked, once again standing to find Kadota.

"If you ask me, _you _should be locked up here too." Shizuo huffed, picking at his ham.

"No one asked you."

"Izayaaaaaaaa…"

"Izaya?" a voice asked. Kadota was coming toward them.

"Dota-chin!"

"Don't call me that!"

"It's so good to see you! So this is where you've been!" Izaya greeted warmly.

"Yep. Beats being out there with the real psychos." Kadota said, poking the raven's head.

"Ow, you're so mean! I'm perfectly sane."

"Izaya. We both know that's a damn lie."

Shizuo was watching the whole exchange with a scowl on his face. When Kadota poked Izaya's head, he bent his fork so much it broke. Roppi nudged Tsuki and pointed.

"He's jealous." He whispered.

"Yeah… I see it too." Tsuki whispered back.

"Izaya, where are Mairu and Kururi?" Roppi asked his cousin.

"With mom and dad. They're having family time or something. The whole concept is ridiculous really. So, I came here to see you instead."

"Oh, thanks…" Roppi shrugged. Izaya eyed him steadily.

"Did you just _thank _me? Roppi-chan, are you alright? Do you have a fever or something?" he asked, leaning forward to touch his hand to the younger man's forehead.

"Get off me!"

"You two look alike so much that it's creepy…" Kadota said, looking at the two Oriharas.

"Ne, we're beautiful~"

"Izaya! Let go of me!"

"HOLY SHIT! TWO ROPPI'S!" a shriek sounded from across the room. Two seconds later, Erika was in front of them.

"Who are you? A twin? A doppelganger? Are you a robot created by the government to steal Roppi's face?" she asked, tugging on Izaya's sleeve.

"I'm a figment of your imagination dear. A side effect of your medication." Izaya smirked at her.

"Wha…Really?" she asked, looking very confused.

"No! He's my cousin!" Roppi hissed, smacking the back of Izaya's head. She shifted, looking at Shizuo and Kasuka.

"And here's the extra Tsuki from last year! How have you been?" she asked him.

"Not you again. Fuck, last time you showed up I had to break your camera!"

"Are you two involved like Roppi and Tsuki?" she asked.

"Involved?" Izaya smirked, looking at his cousin. "You and Tsuki-chan are _involved_?"

"And if we are?" Roppi huffed.

"We are!" Tsuki said nervously to his brothers.

"Yaoi love~! It's like double vision! Do you guys realize the possibilities here? You could easily have a kinky four way or something! It's like mutual masturbation, since you each have a clone!"

"We're not fucking clones!" Shizuo yelled.

"Of course not! You'll be fucking one of the black haired ones!" Erika argued.

"What the hell?"

"I-I don't wanna do this…" Tsuki whimpered.

"Erika! Go bother Seiji or something! He's trying to have sex with his sister!" Roppi informed her.

"Incest? Yes! Plot twist!" she shouted, flailing over to the brunettes.

"What. The. FUCK?" Shizuo asked from his seat.

"Speaking of the spiky haired man over there, what's up with him?" Izaya asked, looking at his cousin.

"He wants to fuck Roppi-Toppy." Masaomi said, stalking over from his table, Mikado behind him.

"Roppy-Toppy?" Izaya grinned.

"Shut up…"

"Yep. He's been after the little beauty since he first came in. He's not the only one either. I've been trying to convince him and Tsuki to do a four-way with us since _forever._" The blonde sighed dramatically.

"THAT'S WHAT I'M SCREAMING!" Erika shouted from across the room.

"I told you! NO WAY!" Roppi hissed.

"If it was four of us, it's acceptable. If not, it can't happen." Mikado said.

"Why is that?" Izaya asked, looking with great interest at all the crazy distractions.

"Anything more than two is kind of pushing it, but three is an uneven number. If there was more than four, it would have to be six to make it even again. If it was six, that's just too much. I wouldn't know who to suck and who to fuck."

"HAHAHAHA! PRICELESS!" Masaomi burst out laughing.

"Kill me now…" Tsuki whimpered.

"Obsessive compulsive! I have touches of that too~!" Izaya smiled. "Mostly just for my filing system."

"You have touches of everything." Shizuo remarked.

"I like touching _you _the best."

"Izayaaaaaaaa!"

"I love when you say my name~"

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"In that order?"

And the brute picked up the table, food and all, and tried to fling it at the elder raven.

"Nooo! Stop!" Shinra shrieked, running over. "Take this somewhere else!"

The entire room was focused on them now.

Laughing like a madman, Izaya fled from the room. Shizuo chased after him immediately.

"IZAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAA!" could be heard from the halls.

"Well…Merry Christmas, Tsuki." Kasuka said, breaking the awkward silence.

"T-Thanks…"

"Oh, and congrats. You seem happy with this man." The brunette said, pointing to Roppi.

"Yeah…I love him…"

Roppi grinned at him, connecting their hands.

"Wedding bells~!" Erika said, coming back.

"Eh? N-NO!" Tsuki said frantically.

There were sounds of things breaking and shouts coming from above them.

"Dear lord, please tell me they're not near my office!" Shinra yelled, running toward the exit.

The rest of the dinner went by rather peacefully. Izaya and Shizuo remained missing through most of it. As the families starting leaving, Roppi took Tsuki's hand and prepared to head for their room after they bid Kasuka goodbye.

"W-Wait! I need to find Shizuo!" Tsuki whined, tugging against the raven's hold.

"They could be anywhere, Tsuki." Roppi sighed.

"Please? Come with me?"

"Fine…"

And they went toward the stairs, looking for their relatives.

"That went well…" Tsuki said absently, swinging their arms back and forth.

"Better than it could have." Roppi agreed.

"I see why you and Izaya get along. Even if he's scary, he's friendly."

"That's all an act. No one really knows what Izaya's like, not even Izaya."

"That's weird…"

"He's a Sociopath." Roppi informed him.

"Like the serial killers on T.V.?"

"…Yeah…Not quite that elaborate, but yeah."

"Scary."

"Nah. I'm just shocked I ended up in a mental institution before he did." Roppi sighed.

"Me too…" Tsuki laughed.

They walked a little further. Roppi was about to tell him they should give up, when they heard a banging noise from across the hall.

"Did you hear that?" Tsuki asked, eyes wide. "D-Do you believe in ghosts?"

"_Tsuki. _It's probably Shizuo and Izaya."

"B-But what if it's A-Anri-chan? Coming to kill us for not saving her?"

"No more movies for you." Roppi hissed, leading him toward the noise. They froze in front of the door where the noises were coming from.

"Ahhhh…S-Shizu-chaaaann~…Faster…God, I need it faster!" a groan sounded from inside.

"Shut….up…flea…" a deep voice responded. The sound of skin slapping skin was impossible to miss. Roppi looked up at Tsuki, a smirk on his face.

"Still think it's a ghost?"

"N-No… But I wish it was…"

_[Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion. Between supposed brothers, between supposed lovers. I know the pieces fit, I know the pieces fit, I know the pieces fit…]_

* * *

_Sachi: Whooo! I'm on fire with these lengthy chapters! POW, MUDDA FUCKA!_

_ Roppi: Why do Shizuo and Izaya get a sex scene in OUR Tsukioppi?_

_ Sachi: It's good strategy! People love the alternates, but the originals need appreciation too!_

_ Tsuki: I can picture it in my head…dear God…_

_ Sachi: I know! Isn't it great? SHIZAYA FOR LIFE!_

_ Roppi: I demand my own sex scene!_

_ Tsuki: *dies*_

_ Sachi: Yeeeeahhh…Review for love, and a quicker update~!_


	16. Chapter 16

_You guys never cease to amaze me! The reviews I get are always so nice. The love you all get will be just as nice! erihan, you thought they were awesome? Yay! I tried to make it as realistic as possible... I'm glad you liked it! __Insol-chan__, yes, may the fork rest in peace... sacrifices are necessary though! I need more of your cookies! __FallingforWerewolves__, yay, I made you laugh! I truly love comedies, I just always end up writing drama... __Braverly-Homonculous__, yes, more Shizaya! Haha, there will be much more Tsukioppi~. __Threegreenbeans__, yes, Style supporter! Haha, I see Kenny as the Delic of the South Park world... Cartman is a Nazi lol. But I do like it when he gets jealous of Stan~. I wish you were un-grounded too! I told you so on Facebook as well. __Paranormal Alchemist__, Tsuki should indeed be afraid... __TinkanaiT32__, yes you do need to read STYLE! You'll get hooked. And you'll be all "SACHI, WHYYY?" and I'll be laughing maniacally and say "YOU KNOW WHY!" Yeah, I wanted to add the scene in which Izaya and Shizuo were involved in their romp, but it IS a Tsukioppi...*sigh* No, it was not their first time. I say even if it's hate sex, they should go for it! __Logic Dive__, you read all of it in one night? Poor child, your sleep schedule will soon be as messed up as mine... I appreciate the love you send me! Also, __TinkanaiT32__, __Paranormal Alchemist__, and __Logic Dive__, thank you for reading and reviewing 'Psychosomatic Monsters' too~! It's nice to know it still gets love even though it's over. I really miss writing that story. I was thinking of making a short little sequel, but I don't know. It depends on the support it would receive, haha. I don't want to ruin the original for anyone. Anywho, enough with my babbling. ON WITH MAH STORY!_

_Transatlanticism_

_(Death Cab For Cutie)_

_[The Atlantic was born today, and I'll tell you how. The clouds above opened up, and let it out.]_

Tsuki was in a great mood. Really ecstatic. Shizuo had given him approval to date Roppi. Sure it was over the phone, but it still counted. Since the elder blonde had been more involved in other things...

Roppi was sitting on the edge of the bed, steadily working on a picture of the oaf. He was sketching the outline of the scarf when the blonde rolled over and ruined the creases he had just drawn.

"_Tsuki_! Stay still!" he hissed.

"Eh? W-Why?"

Okay, so Roppi hadn't exactly told the blonde he was drawing him. But still, did he have to move so damn much?

"Just do as I say." Roppi smirked.

Tsuki resumed a more comfortable position and continued reading the book Roppi had let him borrow. It was morbid, but he liked reading what his roommate was reading. It made him feel more like he was part of the raven's life.

Roppi made a few adjustments here and there to his sketch. Grinning triumphantly, he turned it to face the blonde.

"I love it!" Tsuki said enthusiastically, sitting up to see it better.

"You think it looks good? You moved so much it was hard to actually sketch it out." the raven responded.

"No, I really love it! It looks just like me!"

"I was drawing Shizuo." Roppi joked.

"Like I'd ever believe that, Roppi-san."

"Heh. Izaya liked you by the way. He called me yesterday."

"W-What did he say?"

"He'll call again today. You can stay beside me and hear it yourself. We didn't get to talk much yesterday because he said he was busy."

"Oh...Okay. Um...Shizuo said he was okay with me...dating you..." Tsuki said quietly.

"Dating?"

"Oh eh...I didn't k-know what I should call it! I'm sorry!"

"Tsuki, calm down! I just... I've never..._dated _anyone before."

"M-Me neither... But I want to..." Tsuki said earnestly.

"Okay... When we get out, I'm holding you to that." Roppi grinned.

Tsuki leaned against him, nudging him a little with his shoulder, making the raven look up at him.

"Roppi-san... When we get out of here...I-I...Would you... maybe want to live with me...?"

"You...want to live with me? Outside of here?"

"If that's okay with you! I just... I like sharing a room with you..."

"I can't live alone anyway. So why not?" Roppi shrugged.

"You mean it? Really? We can still be roommates?" Tsuki looked ecstatic.

"No, Tsuki. We won't be roommates."

"T-Then wha-"

"We're lovers."

"Lovers..." Tsuki repeated, his eyes lighting up. "R-Roppi-san is my lover..."

"Yes, I'm your lover."

Tsuki practically tackled him against the bed, knocking the sketch book away and pressing him into the mattress as he heatedly pressed their mouths together.

"Wha- _Tsuki!_"

"I love you, Roppi-san."

"...I love you too."

* * *

Namie stood in the front of the group with her hands on her hips as she stared them down.

"We're going outside today. There's a little coffee shop down the street we can go to."

_"The closest one here is..."_

"I don't want to go." Roppi announced stiffly.

"Too bad. Since your cousin destroyed half the hospital, your opinion doesn't matter." she hissed.

"Technically he didn't do that. Shizuo did. And it's not like I can control him just because he's my cousin."

"That guy was your cousin? Thought he was your twin." Seiji announced.

"Obviously I said 'cousin' so that's what I meant." Roppi said.

"...Smartass."

"Dumbass."

"Both of you, stop! We're going to have a pleasant outing or else!"

As they walked toward the door, Tsuki turned to his lover.

"Are we going to your old job, Roppi-san?"

"Yeah...I think so."

"Are you...going to be okay?"

"I hope so. Just...stay with me..."

Tsuki smiled at him warmly and took his hand in his own as they walked. It was _freezing _outside. There was a blanket of snow on the ground that was so white it was blinding. Roppi was overjoyed at just being outdoors again.

"Heh, Roppy-Toppy looks happy." Masaomi grinned, coming behind them. His own hand was wrapped in Mikado's.

"I've been stuck inside too long..." Roppi sighed. He knelt down and picked up a handful of snow.

"Roppi-san..." Tsuki said disapprovingly.

"I'm not doing anything." Roppi lied, rolling the snow into a ball.

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not." and he tossed it as hard as he could at Seiji's head.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" the brunette roared, reeling to face the laughing raven.

"It slipped." Roppi said through his fit of laughter. Tsuki actually cracked a grin at his lover's hysteria and Seiji's infuriated expression.

"I'll kick your ass!" Seiji yelled, starting toward the raven. Tsuki stepped in between them.

"Take one more step and you'll wish you didn't." he snarled.

"Seiji! Get back up here!" Namie called from the front of their group. Taking one last glance at them, he did as he was told and resumed his place beside his sister and Mika.

"Roppi-san that was reckless!"

"It made you smile. So it wasn't pointless at least."

"Haha, Roppy-Toppy that was priceless!" Masaomi laughed.

"You should throw another one. So it's an even number." Mikado insisted, his expression bored.

"Don't encourage him!" the blonde hissed.

"He has a point though. One more may cool him off some."

"Roppi-san!"

"Ugh, why are we out here in this freezing weather? I'm fucking cold!" Saburo yelled from the back of the group, walking beside Kadota.

"Shut up, man. You don't always have to be the loudest one out of everyone." Kadota sighed.

Roppi tuned to see Celty running toward him.

_[You threw a snowball at Seiji? Seriously? What are you, 5?] _her PDA read.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." he shrugged.

_[It was kind of funny...]_

"See? So it was worth it."

They were outside the coffee house now. Roppi looked at it wistfully. He had worked here for a year before he got fired for burning someone. He really liked his job...

He threw his hood up over his face and made his way to the back of the establishment, Tsuki close behind him.

"Aren't you going to at least get a coffee or something? I know you like coffee." the blonde said.

"I don't want them to see me..." Roppi sighed.

"...I'll go get you a coffee." Tsuki said, stranding up to do so.

Roppi sat in the booth alone with the hood over his face still.

"What's wrong, psycho? Not as brave now that your little bodyguard isn't around?" Seiji Yagiri hissed as he approached the booth.

"He's not a bodyguard, stupid. Shouldn't you be finding some small girl to molest or something?" Roppi snapped.

Seiji took the liberty of sitting across from him.

"Why are you wearing your hood inside? Are you afraid of being seen here?"

"Why do you care?"

"It's just a question. Stop being so pissy." the brunette huffed, taking a sip from the cup he was holding.

"You cut Tsuki's neck and tried to rape me. I have a right to be pissy." the raven informed him.

"That was when I was off my meds. I'm on them now. Let's try being civil."

"...I'm not interested in being civil. I hate you."

"Why do you have to be that way? Why is it the pretty ones that are always so bitchy?" Seiji sighed dramatically.

"Don't call me pretty."

"Hot? Sexy?"

"Just don't talk to me." the raven said flatly.

"Fine. I'll use actions."

"Wait wha-"

Seiji grabbed his hand over the table and tugged him halfway over the wooden surface so he was on top of the table. He placed a hand on either side of Roppi's face and forcefully connected their lips. When the raven hissed in response, the brunette shoved his tongue inside.

Two things happened very quickly.

1. Roppi reared back and punched the man as hard as he could.

2. The manager was yelling at them from the front of the store, drawing everyone's attention toward the two.

"Roppi-san?" Tsuki's tentative voice sounded. He was holding two mugs as he stared toward the table.

Seiji was still holding on to the raven's face. Roppi was trying to forcefully shove the man away from him but failing miserably. He was skilled in evasive manuevers, but once he was caught he had a hard time escaping. The brunette managed to kiss him again in their scuffle, avoiding the fists that continuously pounded him.

"ROPPI-SAN!" Tsuki roared, throwing the cups on the floor as he started forward. He grabbed the brunette's shirt collar and pulled him off the raven with one hand. Growling like an animal, he threw the man across the shop, making him land hard on a table.

"Fuck you, Tsuki! I'll get you for this!" Seiji snarled as he was helped up by Mika.

"If you EVER touch Roppi-san again, I'll fucking KILL you!" the blonde roared, lunging forward again.

"Tsukishima, outside now!" Namie called, holding out a needle in warning. There was a sedative in the syringe. Tsuki looked at it fearfully before he threw the brunette male another heated glance and stalked outside. Roppi followed him, but was grabbed by Dr. Yagiri.

"Where do you think _you're _going?" she snarled.

"Outside."

"No you're not! He's being punished!"

"I'm. Going. Outside." he hissed, yanking his arm away from her.

Roppi stepped into the snow, his feet crunching the white frost. He looked around but didn't see the blonde anywhere.

"Tsuki?" he called to the white void.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

"Tsuki...I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize." the blonde said, nuzzling his face into black hair.

"I broke my promise... Someone else kissed me."

Tsuki growled lowly, turning the raven around in his hold. Crimson met crimson as they locked gazes.

"I'm pissed off." the blonde hissed.

"I know..."

"Someone else touched what's _mine_."

"I know."

Tsuki placed his hands on the raven's hips, dipping his head down to kiss the smaller man. He purred into the kiss when Roppi's lips parted for him.

"You taste different. He got inside your mouth?" the oaf asked.

"Yes."

"I'll _kill _him!"

"You sound like Shizuo." Roppi grinned.

Growling lowly again, Tsuki reconnected their mouths. He hungrily tried to rid his lover's mouth of the unfamiliar taste.

"T-Tsuki..." Roppi breathed as he was devoured. He loved when the blonde got forceful.

"Mmm, you taste like you again..." large hands traveled to his ass and lifted him up a little.

"Ahhhhh...Tsu..."

"I want to go back to our room..." the blonde groaned against his lips.

"Me too..."

"No you don't! You're both in big trouble!" Namie's voice called. "When we get back I'm doing my best to have you two separated!"

"That's unfair! Seiji started it!" Roppi snarled, unraveling himself from his lover's hold.

"I know my little brother! He wouldn't have started a fight!" she yelled.

"He kissed me!"

"Impossible! He's not gay!"

Tsuki was white as a sheet, not saying anything.

"Do whatever you have to do! I'm talking to Dr. Kishitani!" the raven informed her as he grabbed the blonde's hand and started back down the path toward the hospital. The rest of the group was leaving the coffee shop now, all eyes on them.

"If you leave the group you'll be slammed in solitary!" she shouted.

"I'LL BE GLAD TO GET AWAY FROM YOU!" Roppi yelled back.

"R-Roppi-san...stop..." Tsuki tugged on his hand. "I don't wanna be separated from you..."

"She's not in charge of all the patients. She can't do anything."

"Please..."

Snarling still, Roppi allowed her to lead them back. He stayed at the back of the line, holding on to the blonde's hand.

"That was badass, Tsukilicious." Masaomi said encouragingly. "You tossed him like a ragdoll!"

"Um...thanks..." Tsuki tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. He was still afraid of having to part ways with his lover.

"Did you see how Seiji kissed Roppi? It was like a bad rape scene! Like in the newest volume of 'Hillside Murder'!" Erika called to them.

"Oh, it was! I think he'll get caught in the next volume!" Walker grinned.

"This isn't a manga, you idiots!" Saburo hissed.

_[Good for you, Tsuki.] _Celty approved.

"It'll be fine." Roppi assured his lover. "I won't leave you."

Tsuki tightened his hold on the raven's hand.

"Please don't." he whimpered.

* * *

Namie stalked into Shinra's office. She was trying to persuade the man to make them get new roommates.

Tsuki watched her go fearfully, his red eyes wide. Roppi looked at him warily.

"Orihara-san! Telephone!" the nurse at the desk called.

Sighing, Roppi went to the phone and answered it as Tsuki went toward their room.

"Hello, Izaya."

_"Roppi-chan! How much longer till you get out?" _

"Eh? I don't know. It's not like I signed a lease." Roppi grumbled.

_"But I'm booooored! I want to shake things up like we used to!" _Izaya whined.

"Izaya, _we _never shook things up. You would get in trouble and drag me down with you."

_"Which was fun! How is that roommate of yours?"_

"Not too good... Namie is trying to separate us because he punched her little brother in the face."

_"Tsuki punched the spiky haired kid? Why?" _Izaya was surprised.

"He kissed me."

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

_"Roppi-chan, leave this to me."_

"What are you going to do?"

_"Where's the fun in just _telling _you? You'll see~" _and there was a click as the elder raven hung up.

Roppi grinned slightly as he too hung up the phone. He knew Izaya would indeed fix this, in his own twisted way.

Tsuki was on the bed, staring into space when the raven walked back to their room.

"Roppi-san...I'm scared. What if they really-"

"Shhh. Izaya is taking care of it." Roppi assured him, joining him on the bed.

"Izaya-san is? What's he doing?"

"No clue. But I can assure you, he always gets his way... It'll be fine." Roppi purred, crawling on top of the blonde as he kissed him again.

"Roppi-san..."

"I feel a little stressed out...Wanna help me out?"

_[I need you so much closer... I need you so much closer... I need you so much closer... So come on, come on.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Ooooh, what will happen? Muahaha!_

_ Roppi: Everyone fucking hates cliffhangers and you know it!_

_ Sachi: Sometimes it has to be done! Besides, the longer the chapters, the shorter the story. I don't wanna drag it out forever, but I don't want it to be done too soon!_

_ Tsuki: I feel content with this chapter~_

_ Sachi: Depending on the reviews we receive, we'll see where the next chapter goes!_

_ Roppi: Are you being serious? _

_ Sachi: I'm always serious! Except when I'm not... Hehe. Review for more love and a quicker post of the next chapter! Whether it's sweet or sour is up to you! _


	17. Chapter 17

_Lol, once again you never cease to spoil me with reviews! I'm not entirely sure about my update schedule coming up. Since I moved in with my sister and relocated cities, I had to find another job. I start Tuesday, so my updating schedule may be a little fucked up for a while. But, we'll figure it out~! Now, virtual love! __Xuenoyue__, don't suffer withdrawals! Here's your fix! Let me just say that you going to Youtube and reading the story with the soundtrack I provide for each chapter is EXACTLY what I was hoping you guys would do. I'm not just spurting random song lyrics out here! It's the huffin' soundtrack that I write the chapter to! So, much thanks for catching onto that! __Insol-chan__, yes more love and cookies! It's your favorite? Aw, you're too kind. __Paranormal Alchemist __and __FallingforWerewolves__, yes what WILL Izaya do? Muahahaha. __Threegreenbeans__, what? WHAT? BEER? You're too young to drink! So help me I will come to Texas and beat you with SO MANY BIBLES! If you must have a mind altering substance, I recommend shrooms. (or weed). Wait, that's not a good influence on you, is it? Just don't do anything at all! __aurore__, you've been reading and not reviewing? *sad face* Ah well, your review was so nice that you're totally forgiven! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, a new fan? AWESOME! I do try to make Roppi the perfect mixture of angst and gentleness. He's like a fucked up cocktail. I'm glad you think I've got it down though! __Logic Dive__, don't beg me for chapters! It makes me stay up late and type till my fingers bleed! You support a sequel to 'Psychosomatic Monsters'? Alright, well that's one name in the hat! I'll start brainstorming ideas and see if I can cook up something. TinkanaiT32, yes, down with Seiji! Roppi-Bottomy is growing on you? GOOD! You should enjoy yhis chapter then! Oh, did I forget to mention? SMUT. Also, yes Erika is in their group. It's Roppi, Tsuki, Mikado, Masaomi, Celty, Kadota, Saburo, Walker, Erika, Mika, Seiji (and once Anri.) On with the story! Um, this one...not the other one... Meh._

_Electric Feel_

_(MGMT)_

_[All along the western front, people line up to receive. She got the power in her hand, to shock you like you won't believe. Saw her in the amazon, with the voltage running through her skin. Standing there with nothing on, she gonna teach me how to swim.]_

Tsuki was pressed into the mattress as Roppi placed all of his weight on top of him. The raven leaned down and kissed him again, slow and deep.

"R-Roppi-san..."

"Mmm?"

"What are y-you doing?"

"Nothing you won't like."

Finding little assurance in this, Tsuki still placed his hands on Roppi's hips. The smaller man smirked at how compliant his lover was being and continuously assaulted his mouth with his own.

"Ahh...I c-can't...your knee is..." Tsuki stammered, blushing furiously.

Looking down, Roppi saw that his knee was in between the blonde's legs, entirely of its own accord.

_"My anatomy is a pervert..."_

Instead of pulling it away, he gently rocked it forward, enjoying the gasps Tsuki made as he did so.

"Does that feel good, Tsuki~?" he purred, yanking the white scarf away as his mouth traveled lower.

"Y-Yeah...haaaaaahh..."

"Good. You took such care of me today that I'm going to make you feel even better." Roppi informed him as his hands worked his belt buckle.

Tsuki's eyes went as wide as they could under the circumstances. They were still heavy lidded from lust, but there was a hint of panic in the garnet depths.

"W-What are you going to do?"

"Shhh. Trust me~"

In all honesty, Roppi couldn't do what he _wanted _to do. He wanted Tsuki to be inside him. He wanted that piercing pain and pleasure of being filled. But it was still daylight outside.

And in a mental hospital, anyone could walk in at any time.

So, he had to work with the small window of time they had been given.

The raven successfully removed the blonde's belt and tugged it away. His nimble fingers began to work the silver button that separated him from his destination. He looked down at Tsuki, who was looking up at him hungrily.

He looked like an animal in heat.

"What's that lustful stare for, love?" Roppi purred as he pulled the fabric down to the taller man's thighs.

"I-I...want to...make love to you, Roppi-san..."

"I want that too, Tsuki. You have no idea... But we can't. Not right now." the raven said, placing his hand on the front of the black boxers his lover was sporting.

"I know... But I...I need to...soon..."

"Mmm, Tsuki~. When the time comes it'll be more intense than you can handle. Right now though, we'll make due with _this_." and he applied more force to the blonde's growing erection.

"Ahhh! Roppi-saaaahhhhh..."

"Not too loud or I'll have to muffle you..."

"S-Sorry..."

Roppi looked down at his lover. The blonde was biting his lip trying to be quiet, and his usually large red eyes were half closed; his thick glasses were askew. Bits of yellow hair were sticking out every which way, some sticking to the thin sheen of sweat now gracing the man's forehead. He looked up at Roppi, a small smile gracing his lips.

Roppi felt that warmth in his heart that he never thought he could feel as the blonde looked at him so lovingly.

Tsuki hissed as the raven's cold hand dipped inside the fabric of his boxers and grasped his aching member. Roppi smirked slightly, realizing the power he currently held over his oaf of a lover.

He needed more…

"Tsuki. Tsuki look at me." The raven commanded when Tsuki's eyes fluttered closed.

The blonde opened his hazy eyes, locking on Roppi's own lustful stare.

"Do you trust me?" the smaller man asked.

"Y-Yeah…"

"Don't stop." Roppi said as he pulled the boxers down with finality. When they were finally discarded down to the man's thighs, joining his pants, Roppi began to undo his own confining restraints.

Tsuki's breath hitched in his throat when his arousal was exposed to the cold air. His eyes clenched shut again as he gasped quietly. He didn't notice Roppi positioning above him.

But he felt it when the raven lowered himself down.

Roppi had just impaled himself.

"S-Shit! Roppi-san!" Tsuki hissed as he felt tight heat around him from every angle.

"Nnnnmmmmm…"

"W-What did you…hahhhhh…do that for? You're h-hurt!"

"Pain…makes it good, Tsuki…" Roppi said breathlessly as he tried to accommodate the large intrusion into his body. Their only lubricant was sweat and pre-cum.

"N-No! Pull it out!"

Roppi frowned down at the stubborn man before he rocked his hips in defiance. The blonde's manhood was shoved further inside before it pulled out a little, only to slam back in.

"Roppi-san! Ahhhh…"

"I…said to trust…me…" the raven managed before he increased his pace against the man below him.

Tsuki's large hands were on his hips again, helping him move. Despite the blonde's protests, he was moving against Roppi very helpfully.

But it wasn't deep enough.

"Tsuki… You need to take over…"

The blonde's eyes snapped open again.

"W-What?"

Roppi lifted himself up. The arousal that was so welcoming to his insides slipped out, making both men whine from the loss. Then, the smaller man moved to lie beside Tsuki, kicking off the remainder of his pants and boxers that had been resting haphazardly around his knees.

Tsuki was looking at him fearfully, his gaze mingled with the terror and lust.

"Get on top of me." Roppi commanded.

The blonde blinked once, before he scrambled to do as he was told. He followed Roppi's example, and kicked off his pants and boxers too.

Roppi spread his legs, shifting a little under the man so the blonde's knees rested on either side of his thighs.

"N-Now, Roppi-san?"

"Yeah, now."

Tsuki gently inserted his erection into Roppi again. From this angle, he could swear the velvet heat was pulling him further in. He moved slowly, so he wouldn't hurt his lover.

Roppi did not take kindly to this.

"Goddammit, Tsuki! _Move_!" he hissed.

"B-But it'll h-hurt you…"

Growling slightly, Roppi hooked his legs around the blonde's waist, pulling him further in. Tsuki opened his mouth in a silent scream as he was forced in to the hilt.

"Mmmm, God… Like that…" Roppi sighed blissfully.

"S-So reckless…Roppi-san…"

The raven placed his hands on either side of the oaf's face, forcing eye contact.

"Fuck me, Tsuki. Like we both know you want to… Don't worry…about hurting me. I want you to fuck me."

Tsuki's gaze was enveloped in darkness as his pupils dilated at the simple words. He placed his large hands on the raven's legs and moved them from his waist to make them drape across his shoulders. Roppi closed his eyes in anticipation and crossed his ankles behind his lover's scarred neck.

Tsuki pulled back a little, before he used all his strength and slammed back in. If it was what Roppi-san wanted, he would gladly do it.

He would fucking die for this man.

"Ahhhhh~! Tsuki!"

His animal instincts kicking in at last, the blonde began to thrust harder. His pace quickened whenever the man below him whined or moaned.

Tsuki was literally pounding in now. Roppi was wrapped around him in every way possible. His thin arms were around the blonde's neck. His legs were tossed over the man's shoulders. The heat around his throbbing member was Roppi.

Everywhere, Roppi, Roppi, _Roppi._

The raven let out a silent scream as he felt the larger man finally hit the bundle of nerves inside him.

"OH~! T-There!"

Gripping onto Roppi's hips harder, Tsuki began to ride against that spot. The walls around him were starting to spasm, sucking him further into the velvet that was Roppi.

The sweet oblivion of his lover.

"R-Roppi-saaaannnn…"

"I k-know…hahhhh…me too..." the raven sighed contently, feeling his own release creeping up. "Come inside me… I want to be yours, Tsuki…"

"F-Fuck! Roppi~!" Tsuki sputtered as he careened over the edge of depravity. The hot liquid coating his insides had the raven joining him.

"Tsuki…Ahhhh~" he mewled, tightening his limbs like a vice grip around the man as he saw white.

The blonde fell forward, exhausted from his climax. He buried his face in the fabric of his lover's sweaty shirt, inhaling deeply. Roppi's hands came to rest in golden tresses, holding the man against his heart.

"Now… Now I'm yours." Roppi said gently, pushing the wet bangs away from the blonde's forehead and tilting his face to look up so their gazed could lock.

Tsuki smiled, using his remaining strength to lift himself up and pull out of his satiated lover. He then crawled forward and captured the raven's bruised lips in a much needed kiss.

"You'll always be mine, Roppi-san."

"You know…when you came, you dropped the 'san' from my name." Roppi laughed shakily.

"Eh? I-I'm sorry!"

"No. Just…call me 'Roppi' from now on…"

"…Alright… Roppi."

Reality crept back over them like a wet blanket. Suddenly, their surroundings returned. They were in a fucking _mental _institution, full of people, in broad daylight.

Tsuki got a used towel from the floor under his side of the bed to clean them up. For once, Roppi was glad his roommate was a slob. It gave them articles of clothing to work with.

Roppi buttoned his pants after he had them securely over his hips again. He shrugged on his jacket before he turned toward his roommate, who was also gathering his clothes.

They were hiding the evidence, but both knew it happened. It truly happened. They were one being now.

Roppi's fingers stretched toward the door, before he was tugged back into the blonde's hold again.

"I love you, Roppi."

"And I love you."

Despite their surroundings, and the crumbling existence they found themselves faced with, they had this room.

They had this moment.

They had each other.

For now, that was more than enough.

_[Do what you feel now, electric feel now. Do what you feel now, electric feel now.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Short, chapter is short. I wrote it quickly as a thank you to all the reviews! Damn, I hold lemons over your heads and you swamp me with feedback! I huffin' LOVE you guys! (We fangirls need lemon to survive.)_

_Roppi: *content*_

_ Tsuki: *content*_

_ Sachi: Eh? I'm all alone in the postscript? No! I'm a lonely person!_

_ Izaya: I'll help~! Reviewers will receive an exact replica of Shizu-chan. He'll even smoke and curse like the real thing._

_ Shizuo: Fuck no, flea! Let them have you!_

_ Sachi: NOOO! IZAYA IS MINE!_

_ Izaya: See? I'm special~_


	18. Chapter 18

_Haha, glad you guys liked the slice of lemon~! Now to see what Izaya has in store for the patients. __Logic Dive__, I'm glad it made your day go smoother! __Braverly-Homunculus__, yay, you're having a good time! __Threegreenbeans__, I understand completely. My mom's an alcoholic. Well, a recovering one. So trust me, I understand. On a lighter note, you think I'm the best? SWEET! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, glad you liked it! But, this is a Tsukioppi so Tsukilicious is the dominant one. Like I said, I know he's usually not the seme, but I like him better that way. Besides, I did sort of make Roppi in charge even if he was the uke. He was like, "Get on top of me," and "Harder." __TinkanaiT32__, thanks for the good luck wish! Also, YES, I have your approval! I love you guys tooo! __aurore__, thanks for your luck as well! You will now know what Izaya has in mind! One more thing though, I added one more chapter to 'Psychosomatic Monsters', instead of making a new story to go with it. This one is the last one, for real this time. So go give it a quick read and let me know what you think afterwards! You have __Logic Dive__ to thank for begging like a puppy. Much love, now ON WITH THE STORY!_

_Sail_

_(AWOLNATION)_

_[This is how I show my love. I made it in my mind because I blame it on my A.D.D. baby.]_

Tsuki and Roppi discreetly made their way out of the room. They had tried to hide the evidence as best as they could, but surely someone could still notice how they were smiling a little wider. They were standing a little closer. They were laughing a little louder.

Tsuki swore he saw Roppi's eyes shining with something akin to happiness. He had never seen such an expression on the raven's face before. It made him want to jump with joy and shout that it was because of him.

Masaomi and Mikado were strolling through main room, on their way to the television room. Masaomi stopped when he saw them.

"You two totally just fucked." he grinned.

"EH? Wh-What?" Tsuki stammered.

Well, if the golden eyed blonde didn't know before, he certainly knew now based on Tsuki's reddening face.

"Don't be so modest! I can always tell."

"It's like his talent or something." Mikado said as he tugged his shirt further down.

"Roppy-Toppy?" Masaomi smirked.

"Roppi-Bottomy." the raven responded.

"Damn, Tsukilicious! Didn't know you could be so forceful!"

"C-Can we please t-talk about something else?" Tsuki whimpered, trying to disappear into his scarf.

"But this is the most interesting thing that's happened here in weeks! You can't expect me to just ignore it!"

"Come on, Tsuki. It's time to talk to Dr. Kishitani about what happened today with Seiji." Roppi nudged the taller man, slipping his hand in the blonde's. Tsuki nodded at him gratefully and they started toward the stairs to find the brunette's office.

When they rounded a corner, there were shouts coming from behind the wooden door. Roppi frowned and looked up at Tsuki.

"Do they usually fight this loud?" he asked.

"N-No... I've never heard yelling like that." the blonde said quietly.

Suddenly, the door opened, and out walked Shizuo Heiwajima.

"B-Brother?" Tsuki asked in disbelief.

"Oh, hey. You coming to talk to Shinra?" Shizuo asked like this was an everyday occurrence.

"Um...Yeah..."

"Don't worry. We're taking care of it." the elder blonde said gruffly, motioning to the door.

"We?" Roppi said, knowing very well who else was in there.

"The flea."

Tsuki turned a little whiter and bit his lip.

"S-Shizuo...what are you guys doing?"

"Izaya called me and told me you guys got in trouble for nothing. Then he starts rambling about some scheme to get you off the hook... I don't know, but I'm here to make sure that psycho doesn't kill someone."

"THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!" a female voice shrieked from inside. They all flinched when they heard it.

"Dr. Yagiri! Calm down!" Shinra's voice called.

"Yes, Namie-chan, stop being such a spoil sport." Izaya's smoother voice drawled.

The door flew open again and Namie barged from the office, her face tear stained. Inside, Shinra had his head on his desk and Izaya was twirling in the swivel chair in front of the brunette, laughing to himself.

"Izaya, what did you do?" Roppi sighed, letting himself in. The two blonde Heiwajima's followed him.

"Eh? I took care of the trash, Roppi-chan." the informant replied.

"Izaya somehow acquired pictures of Dr. Yagiri engaged in sexual acts with her younger brother." Shinra said from the desk.

"..._How?_" Shizuo asked in bewilderment.

"I have my ways, Shizu-chan. Besides, isn't it _dreadful _that she would take advantage of her poor brother like that? If you ask me, you need more guidance in this place Shinra." Izaya smirked.

"I know... But I've exhausted all our funds for the year..." the spectacled man sighed.

"I know someone who can help you~"

"Izaya... This may not be the best-" Roppi started.

"I already have a full time job, but I'll be having some free time soon enough." the informant continued.

"Are you saying you want to take Namie's place?" Shinra asked in disbelief.

"Just until the funds you need from the government come in by February. It's already almost January. That way, you can hire someone else at your own leisure, and Roppi-chan can leave with me in the new year." Izaya explained.

"Flea, I'm not sure I want you helping my brother." Shizuo hissed.

"I'm a master at psychology. I'll work for free, Shinra. Try finding a better deal."

"I just don't get what's in this for you..." the brunette said critically.

"Helping a dear friend. Getting a front row seat to the madhouse circus? Getting to see little Roppi-chan every day? Those are simply bonus." the informant pushed.

"Won't you get behind in your work?" Roppi asked from behind the elder raven. Izaya turned to look at him from his chair.

"Of course not. I'll be getting a secretary soon. What time is Dr. Yagiri's final shift over?" he asked Shinra.

"6. Why?"

"It's important, Shinra. I need to go tie a few loose ends. Roppi-chan, come with me." Izaya said, grabbing his younger cousin's hand like it was non-negotiable.

Tsuki watched them go fearfully, subconsciously scooting closer to Shizuo.

* * *

"What exactly are you trying to prove here?" Roppi asked as he was dragged through the halls.

"That I'm in charge everywhere. They think just because that little rapist is related to a doctor here he can act how he wants? I don't think so." Izaya grinned.

"Rapist?"

"Yes. I took the liberty of reading up on little Seiji-chan. Let's just say if he wasn't insane, he'd be in prison for rape ten times over."

"How can they just let him roam freely then?" Roppi hissed, getting angry in spite of himself.

"Exactly. That's what I'm going to stop. We're going to shake this place up, Roppi-chan~"

They stopped in front of a new pair of doors, to another office. Izaya smirked dangerously and let himself in. Namie was at her own desk, packing her things.

"GET OUT!" she shouted when she saw them.

"Oooh, not very attractive. I can see why you have to have your brother fuck you." Izaya said shamelessly.

"Those pictures are fake! You're just a master at Photoshop and nothing else!" she yelled, throwing a book at him. He caught it and threw it aside.

"Now, now. I assure you, they're real. Did you know Erika-chan lives in the room next to Mika's?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Namie scowled.

"Everything. See, she knows when little Seiji-chan leaves Mika's room. She followed him one night, and saw him heading for your office. Now, normally, this would be acceptable since you two are siblings. But, this time..." he paused, smiling widely at Roppi like this was the funniest game in the world.

"This time what?" she pressed.

"This time, I told her to crack open the door and film what she saw. I met her at Christmas time you see. Since that Masaomi kid told me of Seiji-chan's intentions toward my little Roppi-chan, I knew I'd have to intervene. Shizu-chan mentioned she had a camera, and the rest is history."

Roppi blinked in surprise. Sometimes, he was very glad that Izaya was on his side.

"B-But how did you know...about Seiji and myself...?" Namie asked, defeated.

"It's not like it was hard to tell when you were drunkenly all over him. Not to mention the fact that he wasn't trying to push you off. That let me know it happens whether alcohol is involved or not."

There was an awkward silence only filled with Namie's harsh breathing and Izaya's absent humming. Roppi just looked between them, anticipating a fight.

"Alright, so you got me fired. Why are you still here?" she sighed, obviously admitting defeat.

"Because, Namie-chan. I am taking your job. I need you to watch my office while I'm away." Izaya smirked like he was talking to a friend.

"Why the _hell _would I help you?"

"You'll find that no company will hire you if I leak this information to the internet. If you stay my secretary until I leave, I'll keep it between us. If not, say goodbye to your medical license."

She glared at him so hard Roppi was certain she was wishing death on both of them. Then she threw more stuff off her desk and the raven knew Izaya had her.

"Fine. _Fine! _But once I finish my end of this, you never speak to me again!" she snarled.

"Not an issue. I'm not that interested in your incestuous family." Izaya informed her as he stood up straight again. "Show up at my apartment tomorrow. I'll email you the address. If you try anything funny, I'll slit your throat."

"You don't have my email address." she said flatly.

"I do. Don't be late." he smiled as he led Roppi from the office.

They walked together, falling in stride as they made their way back to the main room.

"So. You and Shizuo, huh?" Roppi asked casually.

"Ah, I should've known you had caught on." Izaya smiled.

"It's not hard to figure out. You two are obsessed with each other."

"True. More of an habitual infatuation really. Nothing like what you have with Tsuki, I'm sure. Shizu-chan and I just have really great sex."

"So do Tsuki and I."

They exchanged glances, carmine meeting ruby, as they both started laughing loudly.

"I always knew you'd be just like me~!" Izaya sang.

"Shut up! We're completely different!" Roppi tried to sound mad, but he couldn't.

The two blondes were waiting in the main room, looking very involved in conversation.

"Oh, I think Shizu-chan's trying to have the talk with Tsuki." Izaya observed.

Sure enough, Tsuki's face was three times redder than Roppi ever saw it before. He was so far shrunk in his scarf that his face was barely visible.

"Heh. He's a little late." Roppi smirked.

"He's late at _everything_. Damn brute is like a toddler."

"Wow, you must really like him if you insult him all the time."

"Maybe~"

They walked toward the two, both stopping in front of their own monsters. Shizuo looked up, his gaze softening slightly when he saw Izaya standing so close to him.

"Taken care of?" he asked the smaller man.

"Of course. Ready to go?" Izaya responded.

"Yeah."

Tsuki immediately grabbed Roppi and pulled him close.

"_Never _leave me alone with Shizuo again!" he squeaked. Roppi laughed.

"Bye, Tsuki. See you soon. If Izaya gives you problems, just call me." Shizuo said, turning to his brother.

"A-Alright. I will." Tsuki stammered.

"Oh, is Shizu-chan going to punish me?" Izaya purred.

"Damn straight."

The informant rolled his eyes and gave Roppi a loose hug before he turned back to the taller man.

"Is that a promise?"

"Of course."

And the two men walked toward the exit, leaving their younger family members behind them. Both tried not to smile as they saw Shizuo's hand wrap around Izaya's before they disappeared into the white void outside.

_[Sail with me, in the dark. Sail! Sail with me, in the dark. Sail!]_

* * *

_Sachi: Izaya is a mastermind! _

_ Roppi: He's a psycho!  
Tsuki: I think I'll like him more than Namie..._

_ Roppi: You think that NOW. Just wait..._

_ Sachi: I think it works better this way. Now I can work with Izaya more often again~! Anyway, review for-_

_ Izaya: Virtual love!_


	19. Chapter 19

_We broke 100 reviews! YES! This calls for a party dance of sorts! And of course, the virtual love I owe you for being so awesome. __erihan__, yes, Seiji is a creepy little mess. __aurore__, aww thanks! To answer your question, ADD stands for Attention Deficit Disorder. It basically means that if you have ADD, you can't focus on anything for a long period of time. The mind wanders too much. Sorry, I should've said so to begin with! I need to accommodate my readers that aren't native English speakers, haha. __Logic Dive__, you loved it? I love YOU! __Threegreenbeans__, you're still in school? It's huffin' SUMMER! Tell them you need to go on vacation! __Braverly-Homunculus__, he is the coolest mastermind EVER! __FallingforWerewolves__, yes I know... Izaya as a therapist is just too sexy though! I mean, picture this with me. Someone signs you up to speak with a therapist and you're entirely displeased. You walk into an office and there's a devilishly beautiful man behind the desk wearing a black coat and reading glasses... I would stay mad forever so I could always see him! __Insol-chan__, you're so sweet with your good luck wishes! Don't fret over not reviewing for the lemon. There will be more lemon for you to review on~! __TinkanaiT32__, you love my A/N's? Here I thought they were just babbling! Mothers do always seem to know how to halt one's game. __Paranormal Alchemist__, I'd be mad too if I were Namie! But, I'd have a crush on Izaya anyway. __Too lazy to log in__, it says you reviewed chapter 2, but I'll send you love in case you're already to this point. You're in the same boat as Roppi? Don't fret! There are tons of people who have suicidal tendencies! I really don't think most people understand how overwhelming it can be. If you need anything, you can always PM me. I happen to be a pretty good therapist. (In theory, haha.) __AllTheLovelyBrains__, you KNEW I'd have to add Shizaya in there! Your compliment was so amazing! I've been called a lot of things, but never a Godsend! I huffin' LOVE you! __juana anguiano__, you reviewed an earlier chapter too, but I'll include you as well. Thanks for the love! All of you, the reviews make me so happy! I'm having to work every day now so my schedule will be a little hectic. I'll make time for the story though. WOW, this note is long. Enough rambling! On with the story~!_

_Order Made_

_(Radwimps)_

_[I think I must have been asked this once, before I was born by someone, somewhere. "Choose one: the past, the present, or the future, and I will allow you to see it. Which will it be? Which will it be?" And I probably decided on the past. So that, rather than just strong, I could become kind, become kind. So that I could understand what memories are.]_

Tsuki was pulling at his scarf as they settled down into group for the day. He was nervous because he was going to be scrutinized by Izaya Orihara today. He actually had to tell the man things about himself. Roppi had told him Izaya was actually really professional in his work, and there was nothing to worry about, but he was still scared.

He was terrified of Izaya Orihara.

Roppi, however, was very pleased. He missed his cousin terribly and this way, he would see him every day. When Izaya arrived, he wanted to ask about how it was going with Namie, but he would wait until after group was over. He didn't want special treatment just because he was related to the new therapist.

The rest of the group was filing in now. They all looked around the room before they sat. It was a few minutes past time to start.

"Where's crazy lady?" Masaomi asked, breaking the silence first.

"Fired." Roppi said.

"Fired? Why? Did someone notice she was a bitch?" Kadota interjected from his place beside Saburo.

"Kadota, that's not nice at all!" Erika squeaked from beside Walker.

"It's not like she needed this job anyway. She told me yesterday she already has a new job." Seiji huffed.

Roppi snickered to himself. She had a new job alright, as Izaya's secretary. The elder raven was going to torture her endlessly.

The door opened again, and Izaya Orihara shuffled in the room, swinging his arms widely as he went. He threw some papers on the desk and looked over at all of them wordlessly.

"Hmmm, this won't do. Who arranged the chairs like this?" he asked.

"Dr. Yagiri did..." Mikado said, looking from Izaya to Roppi.

"Ah, well that explains it. She can't even file in alphabetical order, much less arrange chairs." Izaya sighed.

"Don't insult my sister!" Seiji hissed, fists clenched.

"Oh, I forgot we have a Namie lover in here. You're aware that you're the only one likely to miss her? I understand why though. I mean, your face practically screams, 'I LOVE my older sister."

There was a collective gasp around the room. Everyone knew about Seiji's incestuous relationship with Namie, besides Mika, but no one ever commented on it.

"What did you say?" Seiji snarled.

"Alright, Seiji-chan, move to the back. Take Mika-chan with you. Roppi-chan and Tsuki-chan, come over here and sit in the chairs beside me. Everyone else is good, but I want the chairs closest to me filled first, so I can see you all properly." Izaya stated matter of factly.

The patients did as they were told, and Roppi was now sitting directly beside Izaya. The elder raven grinned at him.

"Fancy meeting you here."

"Heh, yeah. How's the secretary working out?"

"Ugh, later. Too long to go into now." Izaya sighed, waving his hand dismissively.

"Let me get this straight, _you're _the new therapist?" Kadota asked from his new space closer to the informant.

"Why yes, Dota-chin, I am."

"Don't call me that!" the brunette hissed amid the laughter from the circle.

"Dota-chin? I'm totally using that now~!" Erika called.

"IZAYA!"

"It's not _my _fault I named you better than your parents did."

"That name is obnoxious!" Kadota continued to whine.

"I like it. Erika-chan seems to like it too. Roppi-chan, do you like it?" Izaya asked.

"It doesn't concern me one way or the other." Roppi stated.

"See? He likes it. Tsuki-chan? Do you like it?"

"I-I...um... y-yes?" the blonde whimpered, scooting closer to Roppi.

"Seriously? You're such a little baby, Tsuki." Seiji hissed from the back.

"And you're such a little sister fucker." Roppi shot back.

"Yeah? Well at least I don't let blonde behemoths fuck me!"

"Jealousy is so unbecoming."

"Seiji-chan, shut up." Izaya called from his place.

The informant was wearing an expression a child in a candy store might wear. He looked elated to be here. Of course, he probably was since he loved troubled people so much.

This insane asylum was Izaya's candy store.

"Do you want us to introduce ourselves, Dr...?" Masaomi asked from beside Mikado.

"Orihara. And no, Masaomi Kida, I don't require introductions. I already know mostly everything about all of you." Izaya smirked, pulling some reading glasses from his coat.

"That's...creepy." Mikado said.

"Creepy? I look at it as being well informed. Now let's see... Mikado Ryuugamine, it says here you've made little progress in your OCD tendencies. Are you just unwilling to work or are you afraid?"

"I...don't see why I need to change it..." Mikado sighed.

"I know. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Walk me through your routine, but leave out the kinky details between you and Masaomi." the informant grinned.

"I wake up, roll over until I feel the cold side of the bed, get my stuff ready, take a shower... Of course, I have to wash my hair three times to get it clean. I go through shampoo and stuff like crazy..." the blue eyed male trailed off.

"Go on." Izaya pressed.

"And then I get dressed... But I have to stand by the door, facing away from it a little. I'm afraid someone could bust in and attack me or something... Then, I go back to the room, stepping over every crack in the tile and wake Masaomi up."

"You mean throw pillows at me until I wake up." Masaomi sighed from his chair.

"You snore too loud to hear me!" Mikado shot back.

"I see. That's not too bad. The details written here go much more into a routine than that... I'm going to revise your file and say that you have made progress in your therapy." Izaya muttered, crossing something out on paper and writing over it.

"You can't do that. You just started here." Seiji said.

"I can do what I want, little Seiji-chan. Who's going to stop me?"

There was silence in the room again. Seiji was glaring at the raven hostily, but making no moves to get up. Mika was chewing on her fingernails nervously.

"Um... Are you two like twins or something?" Saburo asked, pointing to Roppi and Izaya.

"No. We're cousins." Roppi replied while Izaya continued to revise the files.

"You look exactly like each other. It's tripping me out." Saburo sighed, leaning a little into Kadota. "Don't you think they're twins, Kadota?"

"No. Get off me." Kadota hissed.

"Maybe I should call you Dota-chin?"

"GET OFF!"

"Settle down, settle down. Let's see... Tsuki-chan, why are you being so quiet today?" Izaya asked the blonde.

"I... I um... I don't know..." Tsuki stammered.

"You're afraid of me. What on Earth did you tell him, Roppi-chan?" Izaya laughed.

"Nothing. Shizuo scared him."

"Ah, the brute always flatters me... I assure you, I'm entirely gentle."

"That's a lie." Kadota remarked.

"Don't listen to Dota-chin. He's just mad because everyone knows his real name now." Izaya smirked.

"Izaya!"

"Tsuki-chan? You don't want to talk?" Izaya tried again.

The blonde was biting his lip and looking at his hands. He knew he was being unreasonable, but he was scared of this man. He kept hearing Izaya's words from earlier in his head.

_"The eyes of a murderer are never hard to miss." _

"C-Can I... be excused?" Tsuki squeaked, standing up without an answer and running toward the exit. Roppi frowned at his retreating form.

"Well that was discouraging." Izaya sighed. "The therapist from before must have been a real pain to him if he's that afraid of speaking to new doctors."

"He's just a wuss." Seiji remarked.

"You're just a dick." Roppi hissed.

"Alright, Roppi-chan, go get him and make sure he's alright. Seiji-chan, shut up." Izaya sighed, waving Roppi away. "Hurry up."

Roppi stood and made his way to the door, glaring at Seiji as he passed. His glare was returned from the brunette.

The raven made his way down the hall, looking for any sign of the blonde. He found him in the art room, sitting on a stool and facing the window.

"Tsuki?"

"R-Roppi..."

The raven walked behind the blonde and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"What's wrong?" he pressed.

"I... It's just that Izaya-san knows about me killing that boy... No one here knows that besides the doctors and you... was here the whole time I was here and she usually ignored me but... Izaya-san asks questions and I'm scared to answer them..."

"Tsuki, he just messes with you because of how you react to it. Honestly, he wasn't even messing with you in there this time. I can always tell when he is." Roppi replied, tugging the scarf down to place his lips on the blonde's neck.

"I know that... But it's hard having new people...know..." Tsuki sighed blissfully as Roppi's tongue licked his skin.

"Mmm, you didn't mind telling me."

"Y-You're different, Roppi... I can always be myself with you."

"Of course. I wouldn't have you nay other way~" Roppi purred, moving around to place his mouth on the blonde's. Their tongues wrapped together, moving in a rhythm.

"I love you..." Tsuki smiled when they parted. "You always know how to help me."

"I love you too. That's why I know how to help you." Roppi grinned. "Now, want to go help me torture Seiji some more?"

"_Roppi_."

"Ugh, I know. I'll try to be good..."

"We both know that's not true." Tsuki sighed.

"Heh. You know me so well."

Roppi held Tsuki's hand as they made their way back to group. This time, Tsuki seemed more at peace than before. He paused outside the door.

"There is something else wrong though..." he muttered.

"What?" Roppi asked.

"Today... marks 4 years since I've been here..."

_[Everything was put together just as requested, so wipe those tears away and let me see your face. Come on, show it to me with pride. Thank you so much for everything. Sorry to have caused you so much trouble. But could I ask just one last thing? "Have we met somewhere before?"]_

* * *

_Sachi: Ahh, more Radwimps. This song is simply beautiful. Once again, I'll try to update faster next time, I promise. It depends on how beat I am when I get home today._

_ Roppi: You think you're tired? Try living with Tsuki._

_ Sachi: Hehe, if you'd stop being perverted maybe you could get some sleep~_

_ Tsuki: Eh?_

_ Sachi: Anyway, review pleeeaseee! Also, I have a homework assignment for you! Go to youtube and type this in the search:_

**_Order Made Shizaya (English subbed)_**

_The picture should be of Shizuo smoking a cigarette. Just watch it! You'll be glad you did~_

_Till next time, my dear readers!_


	20. Chapter 20

_Ahh, my off day. I wish I could just fly to an island somewhere where all the men had to wear little shorts and nothing else and brought me coconuts full of Monster while I typed. *sigh* Alas, I'm sitting on a couch drinking a CAN of Monster, but it's just not the same. But enough of my sob story. This week, aside from working almost 40 hours, has been AWESOME! These two lovely ladies sent me some fan art for my story 'Psychosomatic Monsters', and I've been getting reviews like crazy! But enough of that, now for the virtual love! __Braverly-Homunculus__, I cried when I first saw it too. (There's another one called '15 years pursuing a cute boy') you'll really cry with that one. Thanks for reviewing! __FallingforWerewolves__, agreed. Poor Dota-chin. __TinkanaiT32__, bahahaha, I always love your reviews! And yay, you did your homework! __aurore__, ...oh, __aurore__... WHYYY? YOU HATE ME! Haha, just kidding. But really, this was my thought process with your review:_

_ Sachi: Needs more steamy moments between Tsuki and Roppi? What can I do?_

_ Logical Sachi: There's nothing we can do right now. This is the slow-down part of their relationship. It'll be alright._

_ Demented Sachi: Make them fuck on top of Seiji._

_ Needless to say, I want to do the second one, but that would require too much planning. They're unable to do a whole lot because they're in a mental institution, but I'll try to add more scenes for you since you said you loved me~! Never be afraid to tell me if you guys want something added or something. I'll try to accommodate all of you if it's possible. __Logic Dive__, thanks for the good luck wish! Your reviews are always so nice~! Insol-chan, thank yoooou! I love the fact that this story is getting reviewed so much. To me, those are the best presents you can give! (Besides fan art) __AllTheLovelyBrains__, I love you more! We agree that Seiji needs to die! __blackwingsgreeneyes ,__glad you reviewed for the first chapter! It's the shortest, but it got a lot of reviews anyway... __Burning-Petals__, agreed! I always try to update soon when I can~! __erihan__, hahahaha! putting Seiji in a dress would scar too many people, but I do agree it would be hilarious! As for the picture, I've seen it before and it IS adorable. I huffin' hate that won't let us post hyperlinks... I'd post a new picture or video with every chapter if it would let me! Anyway guys, thanks for reviewing like always! I love all of you! ON WITH MAH STORAHHHH!_

_Time to Pretend_

_(MGMT)_

_[I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life. Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives. I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars. You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.]_

They stood outside the doors, listening to the voices from inside.

"I fucking HATE you!" Seiji was screaming.

"Ahh, I can live with that. Lots of people hate me~" Izaya's voice answered.

Tsuki was shuffling on his feet. Everything about his demeanor said he didn't want to go back in that room. Roppi couldn't blame him. Tsuki had 4 years of this.

4 years of therapy...

4 years of seeing people come and go...

4 years of his life, wasted.

Who knew when the last time was that the blonde had had fun? Not that Roppi was an expert in fun, but he knew Tsuki needed something besides what he was getting.

For once, Roppi would put that first, above his own need to blend in with the background.

"Let's get out of here." he said to the taller man.

"Where are we going?" Tsuki asked in surprise, allowing himself to be led down the hall.

"When we went outside the other day, I saw a staircase that I think leads to the roof. I want to see if it does." Roppi replied.

"WHAT? Roppi, we'll get in trouble!" Tsuki squeaked, looking around like he expected someone to pop up at any second.

"Relax, will you? Who's going to stop us? The only nurse here today is at the front desk. Namie is gone, Shinra is in his office, and everyone else is in group right now on this wing. The only danger we have is Izaya, but he wouldn't turn us in."

"...How do you know all this stuff...?"

"I pay attention in case I ever want to sneak off and kill myself." Roppi explained, listening to the whimper that was directed at him from his lover. "I already told you I'm not killing myself. I just know all of this stuff because I was planning to."

They walked toward the end of the hall, then Roppi turned toward Tsuki.

"Where's the laundry room here?"

"Eh? I-It's behind the door to your right. But we're not allowed in there..."

Ignoring him, Roppi walked in the room and scanned for new clothes for them. He grinned when his eyes settled on the outfits hanging up. He tossed a white coat to the blonde that the doctors usually wore.

"R-Roppi?"

"Wear that. Button it up all the way too, to cover up your regular clothes."

Tsuki did as he was told, and observed the raven who was taking off his pants.

"...Roppi..."

"Easy now. I don't need you forcing yourself on me just yet." Roppi grinned, pulling off his shirt too. He felt Tsuki's eyes boring into him, but he couldn't _wait _for how the blonde would look at him when he noticed his plan.

Roppi snatched the white outfit from the hanger, and pulled it on himself, buttoning it up. Tsuki's eyes popped out of his head.

"Y-You're wearing a nurse's outfit..."

'Why, yes I am. How observant of you."

"Roppi... You look... pretty."

The raven sent him a smirk as he gently folded up his jacket and placed it under his arm.

"We're going to the roof dressed like this so no one will stop us." Roppi explained.

'You'll be cold. It's freezing out there."

"That's what the jacket is for, my dear. Once we're outside we can put on our warmer clothes again if you'd like."

"I-I like what...you're wearing now..." Tsuki mumbled.

"Could it be that Tsuki loves it when I wear women's clothing?" Roppi purred, walking toward him and swaying his hips a little more than necessary. He took Tsuki's large hands and placed them on his hips.

"Roppi..."

"That's _nurse _Roppi~"

"...Nurse Roppi... Can I kiss you?"

"Of course, _Doctor _Tsukishima."

Tsuki's hands bunched in the white fabric, pulling it up a little to reveal the raven's thighs as he forced his mouth against his lover's. Roppi purred and wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. Tsuki was trying to pull up the small white skirt further, but Roppi stopped him.

"Not _here_ doctor." he smiled as he found one of the small hats the nurse's often wore and placed it on his head. He found a surgeon's cap for Tsuki and stuffed the yellow locks inside before he deemed them ready to leave the laundry room.

They slipped down the hallway mostly unnoticed. One or two patients not from their group shot them odd glances, but they were never stopped. Roppi walked a little ahead of the blonde, slipping toward the door where he saw the staircase not too long ago.

"This way." he said, turning toward the blonde. Tsuki's red eyes were focused on his ass. Sighing, Roppi opened the door and shoved him through the opening.

They went up the winding stairs, Tsuki's hand finding his as they walked. The raven squeezed his fingers and continued leading him up the path. Eventually, they were at the top of the stairs, outside a large door. Roppi unlatched it and tried to push it open, but it was stuck from being closed so long.

"Doctor, I need you to open this door, stat!" he said in an official voice. Tsuki grinned at him before he tugged it open with one hand.

The roof was covered in snow. It was against the gray horizon and the air was thick with cold. Roppi breathed out happily, watching as his breath came out as a puff of smoke. He unwrapped his coat and pulled it on before he pulled his pants back on under the dress. Tsuki was watching him intently.

"Why did you...want to come up here?" he asked the smaller man, eyes still glued to the white nurse's dress.

"For you."

"...Me?"

"Yes. What better way to spend your 4 year anniversary?"

Tsuki looked down at his feet that were quickly getting buried in the snow.

"4 years of my life, wasted. Do you think I'll ever get out?" he asked sadly. Roppi placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course. You're not even crazy, Tsuki. You're just nervous, but that's a good thing. You're cautious about things. It's better than acting on impulse, ask your brother."

"Shizuo?"

"He's always acting on impulse, and he gets in trouble because of it. Izaya used to tell me all about how he used Shizuo's temper to get the better of him all the time because he was so impulsive. You actually think things through. You're always thinking about what to do and what not to do." Roppi said, walking toward the edge of the roof and looking over the railing.

"You notice a lot about things..." Tsuki observed, joining him against the railing.

"I notice things I like." the raven shrugged.

"I just... I feel like all of this time is wasted. Since you came here, I feel so much more...alive. Before it was just the same thing, every day. Sometimes I... I understand why you wanted to kill yourself." the blonde admitted, leaning against the raven.

"That doesn't have to be a bad thing." Roppi said quietly.

"Huh?"

"Life is hard sometimes. I was all ready for giving up until I met you. But... We know we have this way out if it ever gets to be too hard."

"Way out...?"

"Like this." Roppi said, climbing on the railing and standing on the outside as he held on with his hands.

"Roppi!"

"See? If I ever truly want to give up... I can just jump." the raven whispered, leaning forward a little.

"S-Stop!" Tsuki stammered, trying to climb beside him on the edge. In his frantic state, he couldn't figure out how to operate his limbs correctly. Roppi laughed in a hollow voice.

"Easy, Tsuki. I'm not jumping."

"T-Then get down!"

Still chuckling, Roppi started to climb back over the rail toward the blonde, but then...

He slipped on the icy metal.

"ROPPI!" Tsuki screamed as the raven fell backwards. He lunged forward and caught the raven by the collar of the white outfit and supported their weight by holding onto the freezing rail. He grit his teeth as he pulled Roppi back to the roof.

They fell backwards, the raven on top of the blonde, as they were buried in the snow. Roppi was shaking. Tsuki placed his hands on his back in comfort, but then he realized Roppi wasn't crying.

He was laughing.

"R-Roppi?"

"Oh God, that was _hilarious_! Here I was finally willing to live and I almost _died_! Have you ever heard of such irony?" he laughed, bunching his fists in the white coat the blonde was still wearing.

"That was scary! It wasn't funny at all!" Tsuki hissed.

"Heh. I bet you're reminded that you're alive now at least." Roppi replied, still shaking with suppressed laughter. The blonde looked at him incredulously, before he smiled a little.

"I guess you're right..." he said quietly, joining the raven's laughter.

They stood up and brushed the snow off of themselves. Roppi stretched and sighed happily as his joints popped loudly.

"Um... I-I'm glad you wanted to take me out here...but I want to go back in now..." Tsuki whimpered, his eyes filling with tears.

"Oh Tsuki, I'm sorry."

"N-No, it's fine. That was just s-scary..."

Roppi looked at him sadly as he agreed to be led back inside. So much for a pleasant outing.

When they reached the hallway again, Roppi took the pants off and wrapped them up with his jacket. They started toward the laundry room again.

"Hey! You two!" a voice called from the opposite end of the hall. The nurse from the front desk was eyeing them suspiciously.

"Run." Roppi said quietly, tugging on the blonde. They made a break for their room, turning corners very quickly and running till their lungs were burning. Tsuki was practically dragging the raven as they went.

Finally, they made it and shut the door quickly behind them. Roppi stripped the outfit and replaced his clothes as he pushed Tsuki down on the bed. He crawled beside him and wrapped them up in the covers.

"Roppi?"

"Shhh. Act like you're asleep."

Tsuki did as he was told and wrapped his arms around the raven as they laid quietly together. The door opened and they heard someone walk in.

"My, my, my. We have ourselves a naughty nurse and a kinky doctor." a smooth voice drawled.

"Izaya!"

"You two need to cover your tracks better if you want to sneak off." the elder raven smirked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"D-Did anyone else see us?" Tsuki asked nervously.

"Hmm? No. No one else is as observant as me dear Tsuki~."

"The nurse at the front desk almost caught us." Roppi pointed out.

"If they ask me, I'll say you were with me."

"Thanks, Izaya-san..."

Izaya looked over at the blonde and reached over to ruffle his hair.

"I'm not doing it for free."

"W-What do I have to do?" Tsuki whimpered.

"Next time we have group, you have to promise to talk to me." Izaya grinned.

"Oh, o-okay..."

Roppi laughed at Tsuki's bewildered expression and planted a kiss on his temple. Izaya stood up and went toward the door.

"It's almost time for Shizu-chan to come pick me up, so I'll be going now."

"Shizuo is picking you up?" Tsuki asked in surprise.

"Ah, yes. The monster is so chivalrous. He likes to walk me home even though it's below freezing outside. Why we can't just call a cab is beyond me." Izaya laughed, waving his hand absently.

Roppi cracked a grin at his older cousin before Izaya started to walk out of the room.

"Oh, by the way, Roppi-chan, you have gorgeous legs in that little nurse outfit~"

"Get out!"

Laughing like a madman, Izaya skipped out into the hall, closing the door behind him.

"I'm taking this stupid dress back to the laundry room." Roppi snarled, getting out from under the covers.

"...Keep it..." Tsuki whispered.

"Keep it? Why?"

"Y-You look...really sexy in it..."

Roppi sent him a grin before he climbed back on top of him.

"Tsuki is a little perverted~." he said as he kissed along the oaf's jaw.

"Only for you..." the blonde moaned as the raven's teeth nipped along his neck. His large hands trailed down to grab the smaller man's thighs and pull him closer.

"Mmm, Tsuki..." Roppi purred as he moved his kisses to land on the oaf's lips. Tsuki deepened it instantly, rolling his tongue along the sides of the raven's.

"Ah... Should I put the dress back on?"

"I'd just take it off." Tsuki smiled, starting to unbutton the raven's jeans.

There was a knock at the door.

"Hey! You two ditched us in therapy so you have to come hang out with us now!" Masaomi's voice filled the room.

"_Now_?" Tsuki asked, exasperated.

"Yes, now! You can go at it later!"

Roppi glared at the door before he buttoned his pants again and climbed off of his lover.

"I don't want to stop." Tsuki pouted, smoothing the sheets.

"Neither do I. But we always have later, love."

Grumbling slightly, Tsuki wrenched the door open and shot the two men a nasty glare.

"Now, now. I have an idea for how to celebrate your 4th year here." Masaomi grinned.

"What?"

Stepping aside, the golden eyed male presented them with two swivel chairs with wheels at the bottom.

"What the-"

"We're going to race!"

"Just so you two know, I am completely against this." Mikado interjected.

"Race?" Roppi asked, stepping beside the blonde.

"Have a seat~" Masaomi purred to his lover, helping the man into the chair. "You sit down too, Roppy-Bottomy."

Roppi looked at Tsuki questioningly, before he sat in the swivel chair.

"The last one to the other side of the hallway wins!" Masaomi yelled, shoving Mikado's chair in front of himself and laughing maniacally.

"Wha- Roppi doesn't want to-" Tsuki started.

"What are you waiting for? Go!" Roppi said loudly, pulling his knees up to his chest. The blonde blinked, but did as he was told and chased the other pair down the hall, pushing Roppi in front of him.

It was exhilarating. Tsuki was laughing as he jumped to stand on the axis of the wheels, both him and the raven moving too fast to stop now. They were starting to pass the other pair now, the shouts from behind them growing louder.

"Stop! This is a hospital, not a circus!" the nurse was shouting.

All four men were laughing now, still heading straight for the wall. Tsuki and Masaomi tried to slow them down, but it was no use. They crashed, the chairs absorbing most of the impact. Roppi landed in the floor, laughing loudly, joined quickly by Tsuki. Mikado was hanging out of the chair, Masaomi helping him back into it.

The nurse was running toward them, still shrieking at them. They did as she said and took the chairs back to an empty office, and were forced to sit in the television room until it was time for dinner so she could watch them.

"Happy anniversary, Tsukilicious." Masaomi called from the large armchair where Mikado was in his lap.

"Thanks..." Tsuki grinned at him, putting an arm around Roppi. They were on the couch together.

"4 years..." the blonde sighed, leaning his head against the raven's shoulder.

"There won't be a 5th."

"Huh?"

"Tsuki, we're getting out of here together. I'll make sure of it." Roppi looked at him earnestly, red eyes locking together. "I'm not leaving without you."

The blonde smiled at him and pulled him closer.

"You're the only reason I didn't jump today." Tsuki said truthfully. "These anniversaries always make me depressed."

"You're the only reason I didn't off myself weeks ago."

Through this crazy place they called a mental institution, they were brought together. Even if they were locked up against their will, they met each other. And they gave each other a reason to live.

That was more than they had ever had before.

_[There's really nothing, nothing we can do. Love must be forgotten, life can always start up new. The models will have children, we'll get a divorce, we'll find some more models, everything must run its course. We'll choke on vomit, and that will be the end. We were fated to pretend, to pretend, we were fated to pretend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Lengthy update! Muahaha, we're moving right along, ne? 20 chapters! I really don't know how much longer it'll be. Probably not too much longer though._

_ Roppi: I feel like this chapter was…stupid._

_ Sachi: This chapter was you trying to cheer up depressed little Tsuki! Of course it was stupid! But that's okay every now and then! We need a break from drama sometimes! Besides, you're just mad that you were in a dress._

_ Tsuki: I liked this chapter!_

_ Izaya: Why is everybody in the postscript without me?_

_ Sachi: Izaya… Who untied you?_

_ Roppi: Um… Review?_

_ Tsuki: Please!_


	21. Chapter 21

_I'm not going to lie you guys. I'm not entirely sober right now. It's hard to type, but I have my auto correct on__,__ so let's do this! I have work the rest of the week so it'll be rough again, that's why I'm typing in my current state. Hehe. I'm only glad that I get to update now! Time for the love. __Paranormal Alchemist__, I'm glad that I made your day better! __Threegreenbeans__, thank yooou! You're so sweet for asking about my life haha. I'm good aside from family drama. I swear, I always thought that when I moved out of my parent's house the drama would cease, but my sister is the most dramatic person EVER. Our house is never lacking in a good fight. When my parents visit, it actually calms down now. It's crazy. __Logic Dive__, good roleplay thought! Haha, I may use the nurse outfit again if I get a good idea for it. __erihan__, nah this time Erika was busy with other things. I have my plans for dear Tsuki and Roppi, never fear! I already have the ending planned out. __xxpsychocupcakexx__, thanks so much! I thought I should let you know that I read your story about Psyche's headphones few months ago and I loved it! I actually have the Nyan Cat song on my phone, set as my friend's ringtone to piss her off. Poor Blueberry-chan. __FallingforWerewolves__, I don't know but I think it has Meme potential! __TinkanaiT32__, of COURSE you can join me on the island! We'll enjoy the men in shorts together! Also, I can't help my demented side. Your mother wants to commit you? Haha, my parents gave up on that when they realized they're just as bad as me. As for who tied Izaya up, that was me of course. He likes to wander; I like him to stay where he is. Problem solved~. __AllTheLovelyBrains__, haha, he did indeed look very lovely in that outfit! I'm thinking of drawing that picture. I need to update my other story about Delic and Hibiya soon too because it's getting reviewed like CRAZY. I think it's the most popular thing I've ever written! So I may do that next if I'm not too tired...Thanks for reading and reviewing! Now, on with the story!_

_The Undertaker (Renholder Mix)_

_(Puscifer)_

_[You were way out of line, went and turned it all around on me again. How could I not smell your lie through the smoke and arrogance? But now I know, so you will not get away with it again. I'm distant in those hollow eyes for I have reached my end. So...]_

Roppi stretched leisurely over his and Tsuki's bed. Surprisingly, they were too tired to do any sexual activity the night before. After all the excitement of the day was over, they went straight to sleep.

As it was, Roppi was awake and staring out the barred window. Tsuki was breathing lightly, still asleep on his side. He was cuddled against Roppi, his mouth slightly agape. The raven grinned slightly and leaned more into the hold.

There was a fresh blanket of snow on the ground outside. It was still falling from the sky, mercilessly assaulting the ground in endless white. Roppi longed to go feel it again. He hated being inside all the time like this.

He thought about what life would be like when they got out. Of course, he still had money saved up from when he did have a job. Izaya could never understand how he could go so long without spending money, but he never really needed any. Izaya was the one who liked to spend money on lavish things. Roppi was actually easy to please.

If he had a book, a sketch pad, pencils, and coffee, he was content.

He definately had enough saved to help them get their own place. Izaya would probably pitch in too. The elder raven loved when Roppi asked for help. Needless to say, it never happened very often.

Roppi wondered about how the blonde would adapt to the outside world. Did he remember how cruel people are? How vicious they can be?

In spite of it all, Roppi believed Tsuki needed some stability. The raven wanted to give him that. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to obtain another job or not, and he was quite sure Tsuki's nerves would prohibit him from finding work.

Of course, there were programs set up for people who were recently released from institutions to find work and fall into place with every day society. Roppi wondered if the blonde could do something like that. He froze.

_"Am I seriously planning my future with this idiot?"_

Roppi laughed lightly to himself. How far he'd come in just a few weeks.

Tsuki shifted on the bed, moving to rest his head against the raven's chest.

"You're awake. I can tell." Roppi smirked.

"No I'm not." Tsuki mumbled.

"Then how are you talking to me?"

"I'm sleep-talking."

Roppi laughed lightly again and planted a gentle kiss in the blonde mop of hair.

"What were you thinking about?" Tsuki asked, crawling up to the look at his lover's face.

"Our future." Roppi replied.

"Heh. I'm glad you said _our_."

"Of course it's ours. I don't think either of us want a seperate one, do we?"

Tsuki kissed him on the lips, humming into the gesture when the raven's fingers found his.

"You really think we can get out of here together?" the blonde asked hopefully.

"I believe we have a month left, like Izaya said. I'm here because he put me here, so he can get me out if he's my doctor now. You've been here for 4 years, but you've made amazing progress from where you were. If you're ready, I think we have a good chance of leaving together."

"Why wouldn't I be ready?" Tsuki inquired.

"Because the world will love to eat a nice little blonde like you." Roppi said quietly.

"You really think that I'll be unable to adapt?" Tsuki's voice was fearful.

"I think that you'll be better than me. I think that together, we'll make it work."

"I've been thinking recently and...this place really is all I know now..."

Roppi sighed, running his fingers through the blonde's hair.

"What's so wrong with change? It brought us together, ne? Not to mention if things never changed, they'd be boring. Of course it'll be hard at first, but I think you can do it. Remember, there's always a way out."

Tsuki looked at him with a fearful look again.

"Is it scary that...I actually find comfort in that?" he asked.

"Nope. It just means you're as fucked up as me." Roppi grinned.

The blonde rolled over to the edge of the bed.

"I was thinking about going to the art room today. I haven't drawn in a long time..."

"If you draw me in that nurse's outfit, I'll kill you." Roppi warned.

"I-I wasn't going to!"

"Then why are you getting so defensive?"

"Because!"

"'Because' is hardly a valid reason."

Tsuki looked at the floor and his face reddened.

"Fine. I was thinking about it." he huffed.

Roppi laughed and stood up too, going to pull clean clothes from his part of the room.

"We have group today. You'll have to talk to Izaya." he said.

"D-Don't remind me..."

"Relax. I'll keep him busy too. If I know him, he's already obsessing over some big mystery in the hospital or something that he wants to solve. He's always been like that. Nothing is ever truly as it is when Izaya Orihara is around."

* * *

They went to the art room. Roppi watched Tsuki paint, noting that the colors weren't as bright as usual. He knew something else was troubling the male, but he wouldn't push it until the blonde spoke about it on his own.

They walked to group together. Izaya was already in the room, facing everyone. His head was in a book.

"Have a seat, you two." he said, not looking up.

They took their spots beside him.

"Did you know that in most group therapy sessions, they encourage the patients to switch seats and sit with new people every session?" Izaya asked as he looked up.

There was an uncomfortable shuffling at his words. Everyone always sat with their friends. It was a comfort zone thing.

"However, I think that is ridiculous, so you may sit wherever you want." the elder raven continued, tossing the book to the side. "This is why I hate these books sometimes. Their methods are entirely unorthodox. Why does it matter where you sit? I find that it's easier to get you all to talk to me if I allow you to sot in your comfort zones."

"I feel more like talking when I sit beside Walker." Erika chimed in.

"Me too! But…with her." Walker said.

"I-I want to sit with R-Roppi." Tsuki stuttered, trying to keep his end of the deal with Izaya.

"That's fine. Sit where you want, I don't care. Anyway, today's topic is suicide." Izaya said stoically.

"S-Suicide?" Mika asked, shifting closer to Seiji.

"Yes. I was going through the records of this hospital and I saw we've had two suicides in the past 5 years. Anyone care to elaborate?"

"Um…the first was Haruna Niekawa…" Tsuki said quietly.

"You mean the crazy stalker." Seiji growled.

"Care to share that story, Seiji-chan?" Izaya asked pleasantly.

"She was obsessed with me! Then Mika came and she went ballistic. I don't even know what her deal was."

"T-That's not true. She was his girlfriend and she had split personality disorder. When Mika-chan came, he dumped her and she let her personality take over." Tsuki intervened.

"Shut up, stupid!" the brunette hissed.

"_You _shut up, Seiji-chan. Continue, Tsuki-chan." Izaya said from his place.

"W-Well, her personalities' other name was 'Saika'. When Seiji left her, she went into that mode where if she couldn't have him, no one could. T-Then she tried to…cut him with a knife she hid when she came here…"

"A knife? You have awful security in this place." The elder raven sighed.

"Y-Yeah. He slapped her away and was yelling at her, then I tried to stop him…"

_"__Then he cut your neck." _Roppi thought dryly.

"But after that, she gave up. Saika lost control, and it was just Haruna-chan again. She…stabbed herself in the neck." Tsuki whimpered.

Roppi sat in silence. He had never heard the whole story before. This was the first time he had ever heard her actual name.

"I see. Who discovered her?" Izaya asked calmly.

"M-Me. I was her f-friend. She was in her room, b-bleeding out…" the blonde said quietly.

"Good riddance." Seiji hissed quietly from his place.

Izaya narrowed his eyes at the brunette.

"Seiji-chan, I want you to tell us what happened to Anri-chan." He said.

"Anri? She gained weight and freaked out." Seiji shrugged.

"You forget to mention that you and Mika insulted her so bad she fled from group before she actually hung herself." Roppi snarled.

"Yeah? Well Mika told me you were talking to her before anyone that morning. Plus you ran after her before she died. So, anything you want to confess to?" Seiji asked.

"I confess to talking to her and telling her what a dick you are and how she shouldn't listen to you." The raven replied.

"You sure you weren't telling her how great suicide was?"

_"__No… That's exactly what I was telling her." _Roppi thought guiltily.

"L-Leave Roppi alone! He was the only one willing to help her!" Tsuki yelled defensively.

"Calm down everyone. The point of this exercise is not to point fingers, but to see how everyone is dealing with the loss. Mika-chan, you go first since you're being so quiet." Izaya interjected.

"Um… I didn't really know Haruna-chan very well. When I came here, she killed herself a few days later. Anri-chan was m-my best friend…" she whimpered, looking at her feet.

"Go on." Izaya said emotionlessly.

"A-And she died because I called her fat… But I was just mad! I swear! I thought she wanted to take Seiji from me! I-I didn't mean it!" Mika wailed.

"Seemed like you meant it to me." Roppi said.

"I wish she was here… I'd tell her how sorry I was…" Mika whispered.

"Regardless of what was said, the decision to die was hers and hers alone. No one here is to blame. Even if you can all think of whose fault it was, the fact remains that it was still Anri-chan's alone, just like Haruna-chan." The elder raven said matter of factly.

Roppi thought about this. He had been blaming himself for her death the whole time, but the decision to hang herself was hers. Just like when he cut himself, it was his choice to do so. He never wanted anyone to blame themselves for his death.

He just wanted to die.

He wondered if that was what Anri wanted too. Just to have the peace that came with an early demise.

Life was much harder.

Damn, Izaya actually _helped _him. He could never let the elder raven know that. Of course, Izaya being who he was, probably already knew.

"Anyway, you may leave early today. That's really all I had to talk about today~"

_"__Fuck. He already knew about how it was bothering me…"_

The group stood up to leave. Roppi wondered why Erika never really spoke to Izaya. He had asked her help in catching Namie with Seiji after all. The two never seemed to actually _interact _together though.

"Izaya, are you and Erika not really friends?" he asked his cousin when the room was empty of everyone besides them and Tsuki.

"Eh? What makes you ask that?"

"I was just thinking how strange it is that you enlisted her to tape a scandal, yet she seems scared of you." Roppi shrugged. Izaya smiled.

"I never asked Erika-chan to tape anything. In truth, there is no tape." He said.

_"__What?"_ Tsuki asked.

"Namie never actually asked to see any footage. That was her mistake. The fact that she went along with my accusations means that there were really moments between the two. If she never finds out there's no actual footage, that's just one more argument I don't have to have." Izaya smirked.

"…You're evil." Roppi sighed.

"Hahaha! I prefer to think of myself as devious, Roppi-chan. I like to get what I want, and not be questioned. What I don't know, I make up."

"I'm n-not surprised anymore…" Tsuki grinned.

"See? It was worth it just to get Tsuki-chan to warm up to me~!" Izaya sang.

Roppi rolled his eyes and started to leave the room.

"Wait, Roppi-chan!" Izaya called.

The younger raven turned.

"Do you feel better knowing Anri-chan's death didn't involve you?"

"…How do you always know exactly what I'm thinking?" Roppi sighed.

"Because you're my favorite." Izaya said simply. "I pay attention to things I really like."

"S-So I guess you know a lot about my brother." Tsuki said daringly. Izaya looked up at him.

"I know more about Shizu-chan than he knows about himself."

Tsuki and Roppi grinned.

_[So thank you for making me feel like I'm guilty. Making it easier to murder your sweet memory. I'm severing the heart line, I'm leaving your corpse behind. Not dead, but soon to be though, I'm not gonna be the one that kills you. I'm gonna leave that up to you.]_

* * *

_Sachi: My buzz has officially worn off. _

_ Tsuki: Was it from typing?_

_ Sachi: No. It was the food I just consumed._

_Roppi: Why drink on a Thursday anyway?_

_ Sachi: Because we had it here and my sister was like 'Drink this' and at the time I was like, ' Well, can't argue with that logic!'_

_ Tsuki: Um… L-Leave a review for love! Or just to be mean to her for drinking._

_ Sachi: Hey!_

_ Roppi: See you next time._


	22. Chapter 22

_Haha, I'm glad you guys liked the chapter despite the state I wrote it in. I actually had to go back and re-read it, because I forgot what I wrote. *sigh* Anywho, on to the love! __Paranormal Alchemist__, eh it's not all that great being drunk. It's not worth the drama it causes. Also, I'm only 19, so technically I'm not supposed to drink either. (shhh.) __Braverly-Homunculus__, I know! It's almost over, you know. It's too sad to think about though! __Threegreenbeans__, in high school, I had a reputation for being a smartass and not caring what people thought, haha. One of my best friends often told me I was a sociopath (like Izaya.) But now, I take that as a compliment. My point is, don't let the naysayers get you down. After high school, you'll find people stop caring about your actions as much. (except at work.) __TinkanaiT32__, don't judge my drunken state! It was a party Thursday! __Marshmallows Rule the World__, you can too write, you negative Nancy. I think so, at least. __erihan__, I know, he's so creepy in the manga! I really hate Namie too, in case I haven't made that obvious. __FallingforWerewolves__, haha, I think I'm going to draw it soon enough for all those that wanted it! __aurore__, I'm glad I made your break better! Haha, Demented Sachi likes your suggestion, but I have to advise you not to talk with her too much, since she's nuts. __Logic Dive__, thank yooou! I shall update NOW! I'm sorry for the lateness, my managers like to make me work ALL the time. I work with a bunch of guys (none of them attractive) and some of them have started that flirting business with me. Example:_

_ Me: Can you lift this? I'm horribly weak in the arms._

_ Random dude at work: You're horribly cute too._

_ *sighs* Men and their libido. The worst part is that certain fellow has a child and a girlfriend. I was like, "Um...thanks?" Now I'm done sharing my life for the week! On with the story!_

_Boats and Birds_

_(Gregory & The Hawk)_

_[If you be my star, I'll be your sky. You can hide underneath me, and come out at night. When I turn jet black, and you show off your light, I live to let you shine. I live to let you shine.]_

The amazing thing about being locked up is that after a while, all the days seem to run together. Christmas passed, New Years passed. Two weeks went by without much of anything happening.

Of course the patients celebrated the best they could. Roppi gave Tsuki a new picture, and unlimited minutes under the mistletoe one of the nurses had hung up. Tsuki gave him a painting in return. Both men kissed on New Years.

Izaya gleefully reminded them that they had about two weeks left in the institution after group one day. The patients still had their arguments, but it was unanimously agreed that Izaya was a damn good therapist. (Seiji seemed afraid of him now.)

Oddly enough, every day that passed, Tsuki seemed more and more distraught. Roppi was trying to give him space and not push him too much to explain what was wrong, but after two whole weeks and no improvement, he was worried.

Just a little.

The blonde would participate in group, but would never tell Izaya anything troubling him. He ate when in the cafeteria, but very slowly and disdainfully. As if he didn't really taste it. When Roppi asked him what was wrong the first time, Tsuki had kissed him gently and told him not to worry about it.

Today was one of the colder days in January. Despite being indoors, there was a slight chill in the stagnant air of the hospital. Roppi shivered and pulled on a very thick sweater when he woke up. He looked over at the blonde who was still curled into a ball on his side of the bed.

The raven placed a small kiss on the blonde mop of hair, and left the room. He didn't want to wake the taller male, since he didn't feel like the man was getting too much sleep these days anyway.

Two weeks of not much interaction with Tsuki was leaving Roppi in a state of very high anxiety. He needed the release again.

_Bad._

If Tsuki couldn't grant it…

Maybe he could find another blade…

_"__No! I can't do that… I promised him…"_

Sighing, he went to the art room.

Tsuki's easel was sitting by itself in the corner they all usually shared. The canvases were filled with paintings, but they were all with very dark colors. Roppi knew the blonde painted what he felt.

It was like a stab in his heart to see the dark colored swirls assaulting the white material.

He picked up some paint tubes, and began to mix colors together. He didn't really know how to paint very well, but he wanted to try.

The brush moved across the canvas slowly. The paint was soaking into the material rapidly, bathing itself in the bright swirls the raven was creating.

He didn't know what he was painting; he just needed to paint it. From a distance, he could hear the door opening in the back of the room. It was early, way too early for everyone else to be awake.

Roppi didn't look up to see who was coming toward him. He knew who it was.

"You're up early today." He stated.

"You left the bed… I was cold…" Tsuki's small voice answered.

"I've been cold for a long time now, Tsuki." Roppi replied. He made a rather violent red slash across his canvas.

"R-Roppi…"

The raven continued his work, not turning to the male. The weeks of distance…the weeks of silence.

They were wearing him down.

Giving up on the painting, he dipped the entire brush in the paint and started to fling it toward the canvas. Again and again, it was covered in the red depths of paint.

"W-What are you doing?" Tsuki squeaked, taking the brush from the smaller male after a few violent strikes left the raven trying to stab through the material.

"Stop it, STOP IT!" Roppi snarled, thrusting the brush at the blonde. "I can't do anything with you, can I? I can't cut myself, I can't kill myself, I can't _paint_! And I can't get rid of this GODDAMN PRESSURE!"

Tsuki's eyes were wide with fear at the look on his lover's face.

"I-I'm sorry…"

"Shut up, Tsuki. God, just shut up…" the smaller male whimpered, holding his hands over his ears.

Tsuki watched him sadly, biting his lip.

"W-What are you-"

"It's blood, alright? I painted blood. Do you know why? Because that's what I want most in the fucking world right now! I wish I had never thrown away that letter opener!"

"Roppi…"

"You don't even _look_ at me anymore, Tsuki! If you want to break up with me, just say so!"

"R-Roppi…"

"Say it! SAY IT!"

"I don't want to break up!" Tsuki yelled.

"Yes you do. You're lying to me. I can fucking tell that you're lying to me. What is it? You think if you leave me I'll kill myself?" Roppi hissed.

"T-That's not-"

"Because I don't need that as a reason! I'll do it now and save you the guilt of thinking it was your fault!"

_"__Roppi-"_

The raven shoved past him, aiming for the door. Tsuki's arm shot out and stopped him.

"Let me go." Roppi warned, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

"Not until you listen to me."

"There's nothing for you to say! I've heard all of it before! Just let me go!"

"S-Shut up, Roppi." Tsuki hissed, grabbing the man's hands and abusing the center of his palms. His fingers were teasing the area.

"Ah, s-stop…"

Tsuki started pushing the raven backwards, till he ran into the table. The blonde lifted him and placed him on top of the hard surface, crawling on top of him and resuming his assault on the smaller male's hands. His knee went between Roppi's legs.

"Tsuki…hahhhh, stop…"

"No." the blonde said with finality. His lips found the raven's, effectively cutting off the protests. He moved his knee to the side so he could straddle his lover, violently pushing their hips together.

"_Tsuki…"_

"You think I don't want this too?" Tsuki growled in Roppi's ear. "You think you're the only one that needs this?"

"Nnnnnn, God…"

"Because I need it just as badly. I need you, Roppi."

"T-Then take me…"

Tsuki snarled in a feral voice before he moved his hands to the raven's pants. He unbuttoned the material and tugged it down, along with the smaller man's boxers. He gave the sensitive flesh he was met with a few gentle strokes, before he increased his pace and mercilessly pulled harder. Roppi was writhing beneath him, trying to get the blonde to go even faster.

"U-Usually…I'm not like this, Roppi…" the blonde whispered in his lover's ear. "But we both need this now, right? You want it too?"

"Ahhh, T-Tsuki…"

"Tell me you want it."

"You know _ah_, you know I do…"

"Tell me again… Tell me what you want, Roppi~"

"I want you…I want you to fuck me…"

Tsuki looked at him approvingly before he connected their lips in a heated battle. Roppi was losing the little duel, his will to fight gone. He opened his mouth and allowed the taller man's tongue to travel down his throat as the man's hands went to undo his own confining pants. He settled himself between Roppi's legs and raised three fingers to the male's lips.

"Tsuki…"

"Don't give me that. We're prepping you this time." The blonde growled, referring to the last time when Roppi had thrust down dry and hurt himself.

Frowning, the raven opened his mouth and licked the fingers teasingly. If the blonde wanted his fun, he would have his own. He wanted to make the man so bothered he would cut the prepping short.

Tsuki watched as he inserted the fingers into his mouth, sucking them gently with a purring noise. He swirled his tongue over them, nipping the fingertips gently with his teeth.

"Roppi…"

"Put one in now." The raven ordered.

Tsuki pulled his hand away, moving it between his lover's legs. He looked at the smaller male lustfully before he shoved one in roughly, knowing Roppi liked it that way.

"Ahhhhh~"

Grinning slightly, Tsuki pulled the slick digit out and shoved it in again. He began to increase his pace, slamming the saliva coated finger in more and more harshly.

"T-Tsuki- ahhhhhhh, m-more…"

The taller male obliged, shoving the other two in at the same time. He began to scissor his fingers around, stretching the muscles in order to accommodate the intrusion that was about to come. He was thrusting his fingers in and out, curling them upwards when…

"OH! There, there again!"

Smirking, the blonde repeated the action as the raven's hands found his face, connecting their lips again. Tsuki pulled his fingers out and gave himself a few strokes before he began to push inside his lover.

"Mmmmmmm, God…" Roppi purred, closing his eyes as his body welcomed the intrusion.

"Still… Still so tight…" Tsuki sighed blissfully as he was sucked in to the hilt. He rocked his hips, trying to find the sweet spot again.

Roppi threw his head back and moaned lewdly as his prostate was teased.

"Fuck…a-again…"

Tsuki pulled out so only the tip was inside, before he slammed back in.

"_Tsu- ahhhhh…_"

They found a pace, Roppi's legs wrapping around the blonde's waist so he could pull the man more into himself.

"It… It's so good, Roppi…" he moaned, shoving in again.

Roppi mewled in response, licking the taller man's lips and welcoming their muscles to resume their duel.

Tsuki was swallowing the smaller man's moans, his hands moving down to grip the thin hips as he thrust in harder. Roppi's body began to shake under him.

"T-Tsuki I…"

"Me too…"

The raven let out another loud moan as he came, his hips still moving with the blonde's. Tsuki thrust inside the velvet heat a few more times, before he joined the man in the bliss of release. He fell down against Roppi, kissing him again and again.

"I love this feeling…" the raven sighed contently.

"T-The afterglow?" Tsuki asked, willing his body to stop shaking.

"Feeling full…"

Their bodies were still connected.

"You like having me inside you?" the blonde purred.

"Fucking _love _it…"

Tsuki laughed gently, pulling out as he nipped the alabaster skin of Roppi's neck. He stood from the table, trying to steady himself on his shaky knees as he found a clean rag that was used for wiping brushes clean and removing stains on the tables. He cleaned himself and his lover, before he pulled their pants up and threw the rag away, burying it at the bottom of the trash can.

He climbed back on the table and held Roppi in his arms.

"I'm sorry…about…you know." He said quietly.

"If you're sorry, you'll tell me what's wrong." Roppi informed him.

"…We keep getting closer to leaving… Every day we get closer…"

"You're not ready to leave, are you?" the raven assumed.

"I… I don't know… I want to… I really want to. I'm just…terrified. What am I going to do for work? How will we have money? There's no future for me, Roppi."

"There's a future for you with me. We'll make the rest work."

"Since when are you such an optimist? You know this will be almost impossible for us. How are we supposed to live normally?" Tsuki asked in an exasperated voice.

"We can't live normally, Tsuki. We can never live a normal life. Every day is going to be a challenge. No matter where we are, you'll still be a nervous wreck, and I'll still be a suicide case."

The blonde looked at him wistfully. These were the same thoughts he had been thinking for weeks.

"But I'm willing to try. I want us to work, Tsuki. I want it more than I should. I'm just selfish enough to make you try too, even if you don't want to."

"…I just… Y-You can do so much better, Roppi…" the blonde whimpered, his garnet eyes turning misty. "I have nothing to give you… I'm just a space case…"

"You give me all I need."

"I wish… I wish I could be more confident… I wish I could walk into a public place and not lose my head… I want…to walk down the street, with my head held high…" Tsuki said.

"I want that for you too. I want to be able to take bad news and not automatically reach for a razorblade, but we won't know until we try."

"B-But… You deserve so much…"

"_Tsuki._ You're the only reason I'm still alive. You're the only reason I want to wake up every day. Can't that be enough? Can't you settle with just being everything to me?" Roppi asked him.

"I… I can do that for you, Roppi. I want to be with you always…" the blonde replied.

"Good. I love you, and I need you with me. Enjoy hearing that now, because I don't want to have to remind you again." The smaller man said.

"I love you too… I don't want to be without you either…"

"Then talk to me from now on. I'll listen to your problems… I'll try to help you…" Roppi assured him.

"You know… You'd be an excellent therapist too…"

"You think so?"

"It must be an Orihara thing…" Tsuki grinned.

"Heh… Maybe. So…two more weeks?" Roppi asked, holding out his hand.

"…Two more weeks…" Tsuki agreed, intertwining their fingers.

As they stared at the ceiling in unison, the silver lining could be seen.

Finally, things were becoming clearer to them. They were able to see their future together, without the walls of the institution limiting them.

And _finally _it wasn't as scary as Tsuki feared.

Whatever was out there, they would face it together. Roppi would be there for him, and Tsuki would return the favor.

They could take on the world, as long as they had each other.

_[But you can skyrocket away from me, and never come back if you find another galaxy. Far from here, with more room to fly. Just leave me your stardust to remember you by.]_

* * *

_Sachi: A reader actually sent me a PM this week about a dream they had about this story. She asked me to analyze it for her! I love dream analysis. I love playing therapist! If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll always answer you! This, I promise._

_ Roppi: You'd be an awful therapist._

_ Tsuki: I-I don't know… You may be good…_

_Sachi: Meh. You two are just negative Nancy's. _

_ Izaya: Sachi, it's hard to eat this ootoro with these handcuffs on…_

_ Sachi: Then I'll feed you~!_

_ Tsuki: …_

_ Roppi: Um, review? We like them a lot._

_ Shizuo: WTF? IZAYA! _


	23. Chapter 23

_Hello my lovelies~! I have a very special announcement for everyone who loves this story! We have, including this chapter, THREE chapters left. Yep, that's right. It'll end on chapter 25. (I like keeping the numbers in a certain form. Ending 'Psychosomatic Monsters' on 42 chapters drove me crazy...) So let's all stick together until then! Now, for my ultra-love. __Paranormal Alchemist__, haha, I assure you, being older isn't grand. I'm 19, and already under more stress than I know what to do with. Enjoy being so young! You have a few more years until the world decides to try and ruin you. Thank you for supporting my therapy dreams! __Threegreenbeans__, you and I are in agreement! __erihan__, yeah, most of the characters, if not ALL of them, have some sort of crazy quirk. I'm not sure if I agree than Namie's love is pure though. I think of it more as her obsession that she's too scared to let go of. __Logic Dive__, you have good instincts. Or maybe you've just grown accustomed to my writing style, haha. __TinkanaiT32__, I need pictures of this so called shirtless man! Yay, I'm in author-dom! And YES, handcuffs! Izaya could cut through the rope! (They're not fuzzy though. He refused.) __Braverly-Homunculus__, I'll be glad to help! I love analyzing things! Lately, I've been thinking I'd be a damn good informant, haha. __, thank you so much! That's a great compliment! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, y-you only got an account to review this story? I FUCKING LOVE YOU! That's the most awesome thing that's been said to me since someone told me I looked like Misa Misa from Death Note! (I don't like the woman, but she's pretty.) You guys are too kind to me, always! So I shall spoil you with my update! On with the story!_

_Sleeping Lessons_

_(The Shins)_

_[Go without, till the need seeps in. You're low, anymore. Collect your novel petals for the stem. And glow, glow, melt and flow. Eviscerate your fragile frame, and spill it out in the ragged floor. A thousand different versions of yourself.]_

One week.

That's how much time they had left at this Godforsaken place. The place that was placed in the great overseer's blind spot, where everything was the same, every day.

It was easy to lose yourself in a place like this. It was easy to forget why being sane was so important. It was easy to remain in a state of complacent acceptance. It was easy to give up.

Roppi was tired of giving up.

He spent his whole life thinking the world was a fucking snake pit, ready to eat you and take away everything you hold dear.

And in a way, the world is like that.

But, like in any movie where one is against a monster bent on destruction, the survivor finds an ally to fight with.

And even if the blonde was about as formidable as a wet puppy, Roppi could think of no one he would rather stand with.

The raven felt at peace with things for once in his life. He was unable to plan ahead too much, because there was always an obstacle that stood in the way of any plans he and Tsuki could create together. The world wanted to stomp its righteous foot in their faces at every turn.

Get out, find a job- *stomp* _No one will hire you._

Get a place to live- *stomp* _Who would sign a lease to a couple of ex- insane asylum inmates?_

Be happy- *stomp* _Since when were you EVER happy?_

Despite that, Roppi was still at peace. For once, he couldn't think of all the negative outcomes without thinking of the positive ones too.

Unlike Tsuki, Roppi was well aware of how the world really was. It was a big, formidable place, full of people who want to take your dreams and crush them like pebbles. However, Roppi was already unhappy in the life outside the walls of the institution. He had nothing to go back to, no one to disappoint if he failed.

All he had left to do, was to _try._

He wanted to give Tsuki a life he deserved. He never wanted the blonde to see death again. He never wanted Tsuki to give up on the world, like he himself had already done so long ago...

But, most importantly, he never wanted Tsuki to give up on _himself_.

Roppi had already given up on himself. The only reason he was still trying was for the oaf. He had promised Tsuki he would try, and that was what he was doing. The blonde gave him a reason to wake up every day, and Roppi returned his generosity by continuing to exist, and thinking of ways to make Tsuki smile.

Because Roppi really loved it when Tsuki smiled.

So he would go back out into the world, ready to fight with the feet that stomped them down. He would give Tsuki everything, _everything_. He would make society leave them alone, so they could be happy.

Because love makes you so some fucking crazy shit.

Today was rather lazy. There was a drizzle pecking against the windows. It was a little too warm outside for it to be snow just yet, but it would probably become snow when the sun went down.

The constant beating of the moist drops against the frame left Tsuki and Roppi in a state of contentment, as they lay together in their huge bed, made from two smaller beds pushed together. The raven was reading to him out loud again, absently playing with his hair between his fingers. Tsuki was against his chest, purring quietly.

"Tsuki?"

"Hmm?"

"Just making sure you were awake." Roppi chuckled.

"I'm awake... I'm just really happy right now." the blonde replied, nuzzling more into his lover's chest.

"Really now? I make you happy?"

"You're the only thing that makes me happy."

"You're easy to please then, Tsuki."

"No. I just spent my whole life looking for you, so now I'm enjoying the fact that I found you." the blonde mumbled. Roppi closed the book.

"I've spent my whole life avoiding you." he said. Tsuki's head snapped up.

"Eh?"

"I tried to run from anything that would hold me to this world. My mother's suicide left me scared to form an attachment to anyone for too long. Izaya was my only thread linking to this world, but I knew if I died, he would be able to move on. But you... You _need _me. It's...hard to fathom sometimes." Roppi explained.

Tsuki was looking at him fearfully.

"But, now I realize, I need you too. I need you more than I ever thought I needed anything. And it...makes me so happy, that you finally caught me."

"I make you happy, Roppi?" Tsuki asked, crawling forward so he could hover over his smaller lover.

"You're the only thing in the world that's _ever _made me happy."

The blonde smiled at him before he kissed the raven gently.

"I've been thinking... I think it's okay if we never have a normal life." he said when he pulled back.

"Oh?" Roppi asked.

"Well... If it's normal, it'll be boring... And... I've looked for you for too long to ever be bored... I think we deserve some fun..."

"Haha, indeed we do."

"I want to see the world, Roppi. I want to travel... I want to meet people who are far more messed up than me... I want to... I want to get out of here."

"It's good to finally hear you say that." Roppi said, stroking the man's cheek and letting his fingers brush blonde locks away from his glasses.

"I'm still scared...but... There's got to be more to life than this place. And... I want to do all of this stuff...with you."

"I'll always be beside you."

"I'd rather have you under me." Tsuki smirked.

"Oh? Well we can do that too." Roppi smiled, connecting their lips again.

"Mmm, can you imagine? Kissing in Paris? Holding hands in Italy?" the blonde asked happily.

"Making love in America." Roppi cut in.

"Getting married in Canada."

Both men laughed at this thought.

"The best part though... Is when we get out, no one can stop us..." Tsuki smiled. "Once we save some money...we can do anything we want."

"Of course. Everything is going to be alright. We can both have a fresh start, together."

It was at this moment, that the door swung open and Izaya strode in, dragging Shizuo behind him.

"Oh? We have two men that wanted to stay in bed all day?" Izaya laughed as he observed Tsuki on top of Roppi.

"Izaya! Get out!" Roppi hissed.

"Ne, Roppi-chan is so mean. We came here to talk to the both of you."

"_He _came here to talk to you. I'm here because the damn louse likes to drag me wherever he goes." Shizuo huffed.

"Because you're my favorite~!"

At this, Shizuo's expression softened and he held Izaya to him a little closer than before.

"I was thinking, you two are leaving this place next week." Izaya smiled. "I found a lovely apartment down the street from mine. It's not as big, but I know how you have lavish things, Roppi-chan. It would be cozy for you."

"How are we supposed to convince anyone to sign us a lease?" Roppi asked.

"There's the beauty of it~! It's not signed to _you_. It's signed to me." Izaya informed him.

Tsuki's eyes widened and he looked between his brother and Izaya, who were both grinning madly.

"Y-You got us an apartment?" he asked them.

"Indeed. Once you get on your feet, you can pay us back."

Roppi was staring at his cousin without blinking.

"Ne? Is Roppi-chan alright? I didn't break you, did I?" Izaya laughed, leaning over his younger cousin. Roppi's hands snapped up and he hugged Izaya to him, practically pulling him on the bed.

"Thank you...Thank you." he said.

The elder raven laughed and he held Roppi to himself in return.

"Think of it as my apology for locking you in here for two months. Also, it's close enough to me where I won't worry as much. I'm trusting you to make a new life for yourself, Roppi-chan. I want you to focus on living, and stop thinking of dying."

Tsuki was squishing Shizuo in his own hug. It was like watching two bears try to hug each other. Both ravens were certain that if the blondes ever hugged them that hard, their heads would pop off.

"You can take Namie's job, if you'd like. I'm firing her next week." Izaya said to Tsuki.

"Eh? B-But I'm scared of your job, Izaya-san."

"There's the beauty of it. All you have to do is file things and show clients into my office. Maybe make some tea now and then. If you can file in order, you're already much better than Namie." Izaya laughed.

"I-I... T-Thanks..."

"Now, now. I assure you, I'm a difficult boss. If you can handle me, you can handle anyone in the real world. I've been reviewing your files, and I think working somewhere very close to your own home and with someone you know will make your transition better. Also, I can watch you and continue your therapy if I don't have anything better to do. We need to make sure you're not overwhelmed, because I've noticed how nervous you've been recently. I have to take care of my Tsuki-chan~." the informant said happily, ruffling the youngest Heiwajima's hair.

Shizuo's arms wrapped around the lithe body, pulling Izaya in to himself. He whispered something in the elder raven's ear, causing a Cheshire grin to envelope Izaya's face.

"Is that so~?" he asked, turning a little in Shizuo's grasp to face him.

"Mm-hmm." the bodyguard growled, kissing Izaya suddenly.

Tsuki's face turned red and he shrunk in his scarf as Roppi gave him an 'I told you so' look.

The two men broke apart, Izaya smirking and Shizuo seeming to realize for the first time that there were two other people in the room. He looked at his younger brother in a mixture of apology and fear.

"Um..."

"Forgive Shizu-chan. He gets so happy when I'm nice to his family. Last week I sent Kasuka a fruit basket to help him get over a cold and Shizu-chan broke my door to come and express his _appreciation_~"

"Kasuka was sick?" Tsuki asked in surprise.

"Yeah. He was pretty bad off for a while." Shizuo replied, slinking his arms around Izaya again. He legitimately seemed to do this without thinking, like it was just instinct now.

"We have a few more sessions of group though!" Izaya said animatedly. "I came to get you."

"Yeah, I need to leave soon then." Shizuo said, letting his arms release the raven.

"Eh? No, just come sit in with us. It's fine. I'll just say you're my assistant or something." Izaya said.

"Assistant?" Shizuo laughed.

"Yes. You _assist _me all the time. I counted five times that you assisted me yesterday~"

The men kissed again. Roppi's hands went to Tsuki's shoulders, massaging in comfort.

"I'll just go bother Shinra till you're done. See you later, louse." Shizuo grinned, waving to them as he stalked away. Izaya watched him go.

"M-My brother really loves you." Tsuki said quietly. The informant turned to him in surprise.

"Love? I assure you, it's nothing of the sort, Tsuki-chan. I simply give the brute what he needs."

"Which is why he loves you."

Roppi couldn't help but laugh at the frown that was gracing Izaya's features. The elder raven was clearly losing this argument.

"Think what you will. We're late for group." Izaya huffed, leading them to the session. Everyone was already in their seats in the semi-circle. Izaya took his place at the front, Tsuki and Roppi sitting beside him.

"Today, we're talking about ambitions. When you get out, what will you do? That sort of thing." the informant stated as he looked over the faces. "I require an aswer from all of you, so I don't want any grief. We'll go counterclockwise, so Mika-chan will go first."

Mika was sitting a few chairs away from Izaya, but she was still sitting closest to him, aside from Roppi who was sitting directly beside him on the other side. She gulped at the red eyes directed toward her.

"I...I want to be a youth counselor... I want to teach victims of abuse about the Lord..." she whimpered.

"You'd be good at that." Roppi said in a monotone voice. "Torturing them further by forcing them to listen to your Bible talk."

"Roppi-chan, be quiet." Izaya hushed him, a little smirk on his lips. "You can only speak when it's your turn."

Mika flushed and looked at her feet, tears springing in her eyes. Roppi cursed whatever God there was for giving him even half a conscience.

"For real though. You'd be good at it." he said, not looking at her. Tsuki placed a hand on his thigh.

"Seiji-chan, you're next."

"I don't want to answer." the brunette hissed, leaning back in his chair.

"I don't recall asking what you wanted." Izaya smiled pleasantly. "Now answer the question or I'll be forced to punish you for disobedience."

Seiji glowered at him, before he sighed and complied. Izaya was the only person Seiji ever seemed to listen to.

"I want...to go to my parent's graves...and tell them I'm sorry." he spat.

"Sorry for what? Being a creepy little asshole?" Roppi hissed.

"Roppi-chan! Be quiet!" Izaya said, turning to him again, still trying to hide the smile on his face.

"No! Sorry for...everything, I guess." Seiji said, leaning into his chair again. He didn't seem to want to elaborate anymore, so Izaya moved on.

"Saburo, your turn."

"Ugh, I want to go see my old man. Tell him that even if I wasted 6 months in an institution, I still did more with my life than he did." the man said.

'Do you think maybe your father is the reason that you always act out so much? You want his attention?" Izaya asked.

Saburo glared at him heatedly. "I do not act out!"

"You stole someone's van and tried to drive it into the ocean."

"Because I wanted that van!"

"Because you wanted people to notice you."

"S-Shut up!" and Saburo folded his arms in defiance. "I just... I wanted him to look at me...with something other than hate in his eyes..."

Izaya seemed to make due with this answer, because he moved on.

"Dota-chin~!"

"I want to get out of here, go to your house, and _kill _you for ever making up that damn nickname!" Kadota hissed.

"Aw, I'm part of your ambition? You're too kind to me."

"...I hate you sometimes..."

"Seriously, Dota-chin. Ambition? Dreams?"

"I... I want to go somewhere where it doesn't matter if I never show emotion. I'm tired of everyone thinking I have an inappropriate reaction to things. I can't help it. I want to move where no one knows me."

"I'd find you no matter where you went." Izaya grinned.

"Because you're a creepy little fucker."

The informant laughed, and moved on.

"Celty?"

_[I don't want to leave. I'm safe in here.]_

"Nothing I do can convince you that you have a head, can it?" Izaya sighed.

_[Maybe... I'd move close to Dr. Kishitani...]_

"Heh. Shinra would love that." the informant said. "I bet he could convince you that you have a head."

Celty turned red, and looked at her PDA in her lap. She was done with her turn.

"Erika-chan? I'm guessing you and Walker have the same ambition."

"Yes! We want to travel into the manga-verse! But it doesn't have to wait until we get out! We can transcend when we're worthy, regardless of our surroundings!" she smiled happily.

"And then we can be away from our folks that always hated us!" Walker said, dancing in place with Erika.

It was understood among the group that they were never to question the two about their delusions, for the whole fabrication was created to give the two an escape from their home lives. Not much was known about where they came from, but under her long coat, Erika was covered in scars. They never shared on the subject, and no one ever asked.

"I see. Good luck to you both. Mikado?"

"I want to go see every ocean. Then, I want to be able to jump in the water and not lose my mind about how unsanitary it is..."

"You've made astounding progress these past few weeks. Masaomi told me you ate all of your rice last night, whether it was misshapen or not." Izaya said.

"Yeah... I think...I can do it." Mikado smiled sheepishly.

"I want whatever he wants, Doc. So there's no use in asking me." Masaomi smirked, tossing an arm over Mikado's chair.

"Understood. Tsuki-chan? Care to share?"

"Um... I want to travel the world... I want to see everything there is to see...with Roppi..." the blonde said quietly.

"Oooh, fascinating! Are you two traveling the world together now?" Izaya asked.

"One day. We have to start our lives together first." Roppi answered. "Whatever makes Tsuki happy."

"I want you to be happy too..." Tsuki said.

"I am happy."

"Good." the blonde gave him a gentle kiss, in front of everyone.

It went relatively well, no one really losing their minds. (save for Erika, who seemed to foam at the mouth.) Izaya was smiling at them fondly.

"Good, good. You see, it's important to have goals upon your release. Don't become comfortable here. None of you need to stay in this place your whole lives. There's a whole world out there, full of marvelous humans~!"

"How the _hell _did you not end up locked in here too?" Kadota asked incredulously.

"Because I'm a God among men, and God's don't get locked up."

"D-Don't say that! It's a sin to say that!" Mika chimed in.

"No, Mika-chan. It's a sin to lie, and I'm only telling the truth. Anyway, you're free to leave. I have a monster to track down." Izaya said, standing and going toward the door. "I'll see you all later~"

There was a collective shuffling among the group as they all stood to follow Izaya's example. Tsuki took Roppi's hand and led him to their room, eager to continue their conversation from before.

As the hours passed, the rain morphed to snow as predicted. Roppi was reading to Tsuki again, resuming their earlier comfort. Finally, he closed the book quietly.

"Tsuki, may I borrow your sketch book? I want to draw something." he said. There was no response, because Tsuki was fast asleep.

Roppi smiled to himself and removed his body from under the blonde's.

"R-Roppi?"

"Shhh, go back to sleep love. I'll be right back."

"...Hurry."

Roppi opened the door and shuffled toward the art room. He figured he could find another book to keep, without them minding.

As he walked down the hallway, he couldn't help but notice the creepy tone the asylum seemed to take on at night. Everything was dark and...lonely. Roppi walked a little faster.

When he reached the art room, he went to the cabinets and pulled out a book he had used before, finding a few blank pages in the back. He smiled to himself at his accomplishment, and turned to leave.

Seiji was there, standing in front of the door, blocking his exit.

Roppi cursed his awful luck, and waited to see where this unfortunate event would lead.

One thing was certain. It wouldn't lead anywhere good.

_[And if the old guard still offend, they got nothing left on which you depend, so enlist every ounce, of your bright blood, and off with their heads. Jump from a book. You're not obliged to swallow anything, you despise. See those unrepenting buzzards want your life, and they got no right. As sure as you have eyes, they got no right.]_

* * *

_Sachi: Oooh, what will happen?_

_ Roppi: Another cliffhanger..._

_ Tsuki: No! I don't like where this is going!_

_ Sachi: If you want Roppi to live, you'll REVIEW! Muahahahaha!_

_ Roppi: ...We both know you already have this story planned out, and no amount of reviews will change it._

_ Sachi: Shhh! We're mind fucking!_

_ Izaya: Yes, yes. It's all very simple, Roppi-chan~_

_ Shizuo: You guys are all fucking crazy..._

_ Delic: ...Why am I in this post script?_

_ Sachi: So, leave a nice review! And may we meet again until the last chapter! *sobs*_

_ Delic: Seriously... Why am I here?_


	24. Chapter 24

_UGH. Guys, I believe my bosses are trying to kill me. They're like, "We need you to work every day this week...and then you can have a day off next Thursday." The problem? Incompetent employees! Do me a solid, and NEVER get a job unless you're actually planning to work. Today we had a guy get fired and I had to do his job and mine. His job required lots of heavy lifting and manual labor. I'm 5'5" tall, and horribly weak. So me VS heavy stuff? Let's say I lost... Anyway, enough of my bitching. We're getting closer to the end! *sniffles* My second longest fanfic... On to the love. __Paranormal Alchemist__, your attitude toward Seiji? Violence? I love it! Just let me get a chair so I can watch! Also, if I was to be hugged by Izaya and Shizu-chan? I think I would fangasm so bad I'd die. __Threegreenbeans__, your review confused me horribly until I recieved your PM. Haha, wake up before you send me love silly! The story will still be here after you get your much needed rest. __FallingforWerewolves__, you'll see~! __Insol-chan__, I don't know if I should be excited or scared by that review... I hope you make it epic, whatever it is! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, you tried to take Tsuki-chan? *tsk tsk* You should've known Roppi would take you down. Much love! __BlueRoseDream__, I inspired you to talk to your friend more? Well, awesome! Good luck with him! I know it's hard to deal with those who have given up. If you can be someone's Tsuki, go for it! Thanks for favoriting all my stories! You're so sweet. __Logic Dive__, slow your roll, Tootsie! Haha, for real though, YOU guessed it would happen! Muahahaha! __erihan__, AGREED! __, we all hate cliffhangers. (my bad.) __aurorage__, I'll write many more stories, I swear. This is just the end of one, not all. So we can stick together longer, if you'd like! __TinkanaiT32__, I wanna seeeeee! I've never been to a convention, but when I go I want to peddle my art and cosplay. __Burning-Petals__, thanks for the music tip! The music I used for this chapter is another MGMT song, which makes 3 I've used in all for this story. Are you wondering why? Are you like, "Sachi, aren't there more bands to write to? Why are you playing favorites?" Alright, right now, open a new tab and go to Google images. When you're there, type in "Andrew Vanwyngarden", the lead singer for MGMT. Look at him. Just LOOK at him! Now you see why! On with the story!_

_Indie Rokkers_

_(MGMT)_

_[I like the line between your belly and your thighs, the smell of your skin, the sparkle in your eyes. The smoke in your breath, the breathing hard and heavy, the back of your neck, the shine on your Chevy. The moon was so big when I drove it to the levy, girl.] _

Roppi frowned as Seiji stepped closer, narrowing the gap between them. He wasn't sure what to do. He could try to fight... Maybe that would make enough noise to save him?

The raven wasn't scared. He knew Seiji was capable of anything, but he was tired of being scared. Roppi was just...content.

Whatever happened, happened.

He told himself this as Seiji kissed him again.

Hard.

Roppi was slammed into the wall, wrists held over his head. Seiji's knee went between his legs, forcing a breathless gasp to escape him. Seiji moaned appreciatively at hearing his voice speak its enjoyment. It didn't hurt... But it didn't feel good.

The brunette was holding his hip with his free hand. He slammed his own erection against Roppi's groin, hissing in pleasure. The raven's mind was empty of everything. Why did he feel this way? Why couldn't he push Seiji off?

Seiji began to get irritated from Roppi's lack of response. At the same time, he was horribly aroused that the man wasn't pushing him off. He stopped devouring the raven's mouth, and latched onto his neck, tasting the alabaster skin he had dreamt about.

"...Why?" a quiet voiced asked from above him.

"Why what?" Seiji grunted, slamming their hips together again. "Ahhhhh..."

"Why me?" Roppi's voice was calm, emotionless. He wasn't even hard.

"Shut the fuck up, Haruna." the brunette hissed, shoving his tongue in Roppi's mouth again.

_"Haruna? Niekawa? Is he...having a delusion?"_

Roppi tried to think fast. What could he do to get this man off of him? Why was he frozen? Why...

_"Because I'm waiting for Tsuki to save me."_

It was then that Roppi realized Seiji wasn't holding his wrists anymore. The delusional male's hands were working the front of his pants, trying to pull them down.

Would he realize that the raven was obviously a male? Would he freak out and hurt him, like he had Haruna?

Seiji's hand groped at his groin.

_"Apparently not."_

Roppi sighed, and reared his fist back. He smirked in satisfaction when it made contact with Seiji's face, creating a sickening crack. The raven was more than positive that he had broken his fist in the process, but it seemed worth it. Especially when the brunette actually flew backwards, toppling over a table as he tried to collect himself.

"Could you at least try to keep your hands to yourself like a civilized human being? I don't recall giving you permission to grope me."

Seiji's head snapped up, blood oozing from his mouth as he sneered.

"Then stop acting like you want it."

"Don't touch me. Stop trying. Just _stop_. I'm not Haruna Niekawa." Roppi said, edging against the wall to try and reach the door. Since he realized Tsuki wasn't coming, his fear had returned.

"I know that!"

"Then why did you call me by her name?"

"Because you- You...feel like her..."

Roppi arched a slim brow, urging him to continue.

"She... She never wanted me. I forced her. She was like Mika...so religious. I was her first and she convinced herself she had to stay with me, even though she didn't want me."

So Haruna Niekawa was a victim in more ways than one.

"Then why are you trying to repeat the same mistake? First Haruna, then Mika, now me? Do you really not see a pattern here?" Roppi asked.

Seiji narrowed his eyes at him, his pupils dilating to cover his iris completely. The brunette sneered, letting his newly developed psychotic episode crash over him. When their eyes met, Roppi knew he was in trouble.

Even if Seiji Yagiri was a dick, he could at least be reasoned with. _This _Seiji Yagiri was too far gone to be brought back. Roppi needed to escape. And _fast_.

He edged further along the wall, nearing the door. He was almost there...Almost there...

Seiji's hand shot out, closing around his throat. His teeth were showing in a snarl as he pressed his body against Roppi's again.

"You ask why I do this?" he spat. "Because I love it. Call me sick, call me whatever you want. I _love _the feeling when the person I'm fucking stops fighting. Even you will stop fighting." he said as he used his other hand to open Roppi's pants.

"S-Stop…" the raven hissed uselessly. Seiji's hand traveled lower, tugging the jeans down to reveal boxers.

Roppi was faced with a risky decision. If he continued to try to use both hands to pry Seiji's hand from his neck, he would continue to be assaulted sexually. If he used his hands to try and stop himself from being groped, he would continue to be choked.

He cursed as he tugged at the hand closing tighter around his windpipe. Seiji smirked as he reached his hand inside Roppi's boxers.

"Stopped fighting I see."

"Fuck you."

The raven decided to close his mind and pretend it was Tsuki.

_The hands on him were Tsuki's._

_ The tongue nibbling on his was Tsuki's._

"R-Roppi!"

_Fuck, now he was actually hearing the blonde's voice._

He opened his eyes wearily, blinking over at the source of the voice.

Tsuki's eyes were wide with shock and fear as he observed the scene in front of him.

His lover was pressed against the wall, his hands trying to pry the hand away that was closed around his throat. His face was evident with fear when his eyes met Tsuki's. His pants were pulled down to his thighs and Seiji's hand was inside his boxers.

"Roppi!" he yelled again, charging toward the duo.

The raven looked surprised to see another familiar face behind his lover's. Izaya was there, frozen in the doorway.

Seiji snarled at all the noise, his delusion faltering as he looked up at the source. His eyes settled on Tsuki, who was still charging toward him.

The brunette reached in his pocket and pulled out a needle.

"Stop, Tsuki!" Izaya barked.

The blonde halted, looking confused at Izaya's sudden order.

Seiji grinned and pointed the syringe against Roppi's neck.

"R-Roppi!"

"Take another fucking step and he's dead." The delusional male hissed.

"Seiji-chan, you don't have anything in that needle, do you?" Izaya asked, his voice low. If the syringe was empty and was inserted into Roppi anyway…the sudden air would make the raven's heart stop instantly.

"Not another fucking step." The brunette warned again.

Tsuki's eyes were glued to Roppi's. The raven's expression was pleading.

For once, it wasn't pleading to die. It wasn't pleading to be left alone. It wasn't even pleading to be _saved_. It was pleading for forgiveness.

Forgiveness that he had let himself get trapped in this sort of situation, after he promised Tsuki he would never let anyone else touch him in a sexual way.

Tsuki's eyes filled with tears as Seiji's hand resumed stroking Roppi's half-hard arousal.

"Seiji-chan, I really think it's time to let Roppi-chan go." Izaya said warningly.

The brunette only picked up pace, grinning in triumph when Roppi's breathing increased.

"Is this how your mother touched you?" Izaya's voice called again.

Seiji's hand stopped its motions. He turned his head toward the elder raven.

"What…did you say?"

"You were always Mommy's little boy, weren't you? When did she start touching you this way? I believe your file said you were 6? When did you give in to her twisted desires, Seiji-chan?"

"Shut up."

"I'll bet you were a teenager who didn't know any better. I bet you got hard without meaning to. I bet you didn't even know what you were doing when you licked all down her-"

"Shut up!"

"Did she come? Did you enjoy it? Oh, you _did,_ didn't you? You couldn't wait to have her again?"

"SHUT UP!"

"And, do you know what else I bet? I bet you let your sister touch you, because she looks just like _dear old Mom._"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Seiji roared, keeping the needle where it was but not seeming to have very much focus on it. Izaya grinned his knowing grin and leaned against the frame of the doorway.

"Tell me, is it just girls with dark hair you go for? I'm supposing that's why you like Roppi-chan so much?"

Roppi blinked in surprise as he thought back to Seiji's words from before.

_"__You look like this girl I used to date before I came here. Man, she was fucking hot. She did all kinds of things with her body that you wouldn't believe."_

That was his _Mother_ he was talking about?

Seiji's glare faltered as his eyes glazed over.

"Flea…" Shizuo's voice said from beside Izaya. So he was here too?

"And your mother, when she died, did she blame you for starting the fire? The one that killed both her and your father?" Izaya continued, his twisted smirk evident on his face.

"S-Shut up…"

"But Namie-chan was there, ne? And she wanted her own turn to bathe in the forbidden ocean of her own brother's lust~."

Tsuki's fearful gaze traveled between Izaya's face and Seiji's.

Seiji released his grip on Roppi, who immediately backed away into the wall.

"Tell me, Seiji-chan, how can you go on _living _knowing that you killed your own mother? That's why you rape so often, ne? You're trying to fill that hole you created?"

"Izaya, enough." Shizuo said, placing a hand on the elder raven's shoulder.

"But you realized a long time ago that you can never truly fill that hole, didn't you? It's all pointless for you."

"_Izaya-_"

The syringe raised in the air again, this time going to point at Seiji's neck. The brunette placed his thumb on the plunger.

"Because you know, deep down, that Mommy _never _loved you." Izaya hissed, his eyes narrowing even more.

Tsuki whimpered as Seiji's gaze filled with tears and he inserted the needle into his skin.

The next few seconds went by in slow motion.

Izaya laughed madly at the defeated stare on Seiji's face as Shizuo's arms wrapped around him from behind. Roppi glanced at Tsuki's terrified expression, before he acted.

The raven snatched the needle out of Seiji's grasp, throwing it off to the side. Seiji looked up at him in confusion.

"Stop being so fucking stupid and start actually doing your therapy. Seriously, your little bitch fits are starting to piss me off." Roppi hissed, pulling his shirt back down from its hiked-up state. He strutted over to his oaf of a lover.

"R-R-Roppiiiiiiiiii!" Tsuki cried, pulling the smaller man into his grasp and squeezing tightly. "I w-was so worried!"

"Calm down, love. All is well." Roppi told him, hugging the male tightly in return as he was lifted off the ground. Izaya was still in Shizuo's grasp, leveling his gaze on Seiji. He turned to Roppi.

"You should've let him do it." He hissed.

"Probably. But either way I'm alright now, so it doesn't matter anymore." Roppi shrugged, reveling in the fact that Tsuki's lips were kissing every inch of his skin they could reach.

"Of course it matters! It will _always _matter! Do you know what it's like to have to put you in here to save you and then have something like _this _happen? Do you know how fucking frustrated I am? Do you know how _badly _that I, for once in my life, want to snap someone's neck?" Izaya snarled, his eyes flashing at the defeated brunette in the corner.

"Izaya, calm down…" Shizuo whispered, kissing the elder raven's neck and holding him tighter.

"But it's _alright_, Izaya. Everything is fine." Roppi said, reaching forward to take his cousin's hand in his.

They locked eyes for a moment, saying all that needed to be said in their wordless conversation.

"What…brought you here to save me?" Roppi asked.

"Shizu-chan and I have been here this whole time, negotiating with Shinra. We wanted to tell you that he has agreed to let you out earlier. Monday is your release date. We had dear Tsuki lead us to where he thought you'd be." Izaya said, his eyes lighting up and removing the rage that was only there moments ago.

"M-Monday?" Tsuki asked. It was already Saturday night.

"Yep. The louse blackmailed Shinra with reports on Namie's file and all the maintenance that needs to be done around here. This place is a hellhole." Shizuo huffed, nuzzling against Izaya's ear and mumbling something incoherently. Izaya smiled.

"In brute vocabulary, that means that this place is in violation of at least 15 health laws." Izaya smirked.

"B-But I thought Shinra was your friend." Tsuki whimpered, playing with Roppi's fingers on the hand that wasn't hurt.

"He is my friend. That's why I warned him first." Izaya shrugged.

"Plus owe him two favors." Shizuo added.

"Two? Why two?" Roppi asked.

"The flea is the one who asked Shinra to pull some strings and allow you two to be roommates."

Both Tsuki and Roppi stared in shock.

"I just happen to know that opposites attract. First hand experience, you know." Izaya purred.

Shizuo released him to pick up Seiji and toss him haphazardly over his shoulder. They began walking to the nurse's station.

"Um, yeah, we need him on some serious shit to make him pass out." Shizuo told the terrified woman at the front desk.

"What he means to say is that this man needs to be on lockdown. He had a psychotic episode and a suicide attempt." Izaya smiled at her in his caring way. "We would greatly appreciate it if you could place him in solitary."

The nurse nodded absently, turning red at the velvet noise of Izaya's voice. She picked up the phone and made some instructions to whoever was on the other line, her eyes never leaving the informant's face. Shizuo grunted.

Men dressed in white came from a different ward to take Seiji away. As they were injecting him with sedatives, and Izaya recounted the story to Shinra, who had ventured up front from the noise, Mika peered from the television room. Her eyes were wide and watery.

"D-Did he…rape you?" she asked Roppi quietly.

"He tried. Did he rape you?"

She nodded, holding her hands to her shoulders.

"But you still love him, don't you?" Roppi asked her knowingly.

She nodded again. She looked up at the raven through her bangs.

"What Dr. Orihara said is true? Y-You really stopped him from killing himself?"

Roppi only jerked his head in acknowledgement.

"T-Thank you…" she whimpered. Roppi shoved past her.

"I didn't do it for you or him." He said simply as he walked back into the arms of his lover.

_"__I did it because I never want him to have to see death again."_

_[I found blood and I saw stars, in the backseat of your car. And I told you it was love, but you don't wanna know the truth. I was young and in my prime, with my heart still filled with fear. And it goes on bleedin'.]_

* * *

_Sachi: One more left! *bursts into tears of madness*_

_ Roppi: *sigh*_

_ Tsuki: Um… We love you all for reading and reviewing! They mean a lot to us!_

_ Shizuo: Izaya was a little scary in this chapter._

_ Sachi: He was furious with Seiji. I like scary Izaya!_

_ Izaya: *pleased face*_

_ Sachi: Anyway guys… Let's all stick together one last time, ne?_


	25. Chapter 25

_Alright guys I'm typing this last chapter with Toki attacking me. He just bit my hand for no reason and made me have to re-type this sentence! He gets so mad at me when I type. Poor kitty. Anywho, time to begin the final chapter of 'Fix You'! __erihan__, yes, Roppi was nice in saving Seiji. __aurorage__, you're so sweet! Haha, I'm proud of Shizu-chan too. Quiet Crash__, it'll be alright! Move on with me to future stories! __Logic Dive__, I accept your cookies! Also, Tsuki's release will be answered in this chapter. __FallingforWerewolves__, I know! It saddens me. __Paranormal Alchemist__, I love them too! What Izaya said was indeed scary. But we must remember that Izaya is an unstable sociopath, and therefore capable of anything. __TinkanaiT32__, I'll take you up on that back massage! Also, I love how informative your reviews are. I hope you'll follow me on to more stories! After you finish 'Psychosomatic Monsters' first~! __BlueRoseDream__, don't steal them! I need them for this chapter! Then you can steal them. __AllTheLovelyBrains__, your review made me tear up a little. I LOVE YOU! __Burning-Petals__, hehe, so you saw the beauty that is Andrew? Also, many people have asked me if I will do a Tsugaru and Psyche story after this... The answer is a big, fat, MAYBE. Lol, I'm not really good at writing them I feel. That's why their chapters were always so short in 'Psychosomatic Monsters'. If I get an idea, I'll write one. Until then, I hope you'll all follow me to my DelHibi story. Time for the final chapter of 'Fix You'. I love you all. On with the STORYYYYYYY!_

_Everlong_

_(Foo Fighters)_

_[Hello. I've waited here for you, everlong. Tonight, I throw myself into, and out of the red, out of her head she sang...]_

The final morning of their final day was cloudy. It was hard to see the sun. It was hard to see anything in the sky. Tsuki had said it was bleak, but Roppi had said it was promising.

"It's like our future. It's hard to see, but I know it's there." he had said.

They walked outside into the main room one last time. Their bags were packed, and already being loaded into the taxi Izaya had called. Said raven was leaning against the wall in front of the nurse's station, Shizuo beside him.

"Roppi-chan~! Time to go see your new apartment! I've taken the leisure of decorating it for you."

"...I hope you didn't order tons of extremely expensive stuff." Roppi muttered.

There was a small gathering to see them off. Everyone from their group was there, aside from Seiji. Masaomi strode forward.

"Well, Tsukilicious, Roppi-Bottomy. It's been a hell of a good time here with you. Guess this is goodbye." he said as he pulled them both in for a loose hug.

"Don't say that. You're getting out, and you're coming to see us." Roppi said.

"Y-Yeah! You and Mikado can crash on the couch anytime!" Tsuki added.

"...It'll have to be one fucking clean couch," Mikado murmured from behind Masaomi. They laughed. The blue eyed raven walked toward them and gave them his own hug.

"Do you...really think we can ever get out of here?" he asked Roppi lowly.

"If Izaya can be free to roam the streets, I believe anything."

"Roppi-chan is so mean!" Izaya pouted, leaning against Shizuo. "Ne, Shizu-chan, tell him he's mean."

"No way, louse. You're a fucking lunatic." the blonde huffed.

"You like fucking this lunatic~."

"Heh. Damn straight."

Tsuki was trying to block out the conversation by absorbing himself in a conversation with Erika and Walker.

"When you get out, you have to come back and see us and tell us whether or not it's true that the air outside is heavier!" Erika smiled.

"Eh...What?" Tsuki asked.

"Inside the institution, the air is lighter. It's to make the pressure on our brains lighter and force us to be sane. What they don't know is that once you leave the air in here, you lose your mind again." Walker said seriously.

"Um...R-Roppi?" the blonde called to his lover. He knew Erika and Walker were a little off, but they were scaring him.

"Yes, love?"

"Help me." Tsuki mouthed.

"So, Erika, are you going to return to just stalking Masaomi and Mikado since we're leaving?" Roppi asked her.

"Eh, I guess. Those two are so boring though. You guys had crazy sex in the art room, so that's hard to top." she sighed.

"Y-You saw t-that?" Tsuki stammered.

"Oh my God, it's _true_? I was just guessing because you guys spent so much time in there, but OH MY GOD! I have to go rub myself against all the tables!" she squealed, running toward the room with Walker behind her.

"But Erika, that's so unsanitary!" he was saying as he was dragged.

Celty walked toward them from the back of the group. She held up her PDA, but then paused. They stared at her as she placed it in her pocket, and opened her mouth for the first time in years.

"I...I'll miss you two..." she whispered.

"Celty! Your voice is so pretty!" Tsuki yelped happily, hugging her tightly.

"So, finally figured out you have a head?" Roppi asked her as he watched his lover squeeze her to death.

"Um... Well, Shinra told me so many times, that finally I told him to shut up without my PDA and... I guess that means I have a head. Or maybe the aliens placed a talking device in my neck?" she said seriously.

"No. Your face is very pretty, as is your voice. I assure you, it's there."

She stared at him for a few seconds, before she pulled him into her ever loving arms.

"It seems I'm not the only one who has a reason to live now." she whispered in his ear.

"...It seems that way." Roppi relented, glancing over to his lover, who was now talking to Izaya and Shizuo with a very red face. Kadota and Saburo were there too.

"Um...R-Roppi-san?" a quiet voice asked.

"Yes, Mika?"

"I... I'm sorry for everything... I wish you luck." she said.

He observed her without saying a word.

"I know, I know. It doesn't change anything just because I said sorry. I just hope you can forgive me one day..." Mika whimpered, turning around.

Roppi walked forward and grabbed her hand, making her turn around to pull her in for a very, _very_, loose hug.

"I realize you think you love Seiji Yagiri. You don't. In time, you'll grow to hate him. When that day comes, I'll forgive you." he told her. She looked at him with wide eyes.

"See ya." he said emotionlessly as he released her.

"T-That's not true!" Tsuki's shrill voice yelped. Roppi turned to him in surprise.

"Relax, Tsuki-chan. All is well." Izaya smirked.

"No! Please tell me you really didn't do that!"

"Do what?" Roppi asked as he walked over to them.

"I painted your kitchen pink."

"..."

"I told him not to." Shizuo said.

"Izaya, you hate that color." Roppi sighed.

"So do you. I thought it would be a good prank~."

"If you painted my kitchen pink, I'm shaving your head."

"Which one?" Izaya grinned.

Shizuo slapped the back of his head, causing him to laugh harder.

Roppi rolled his eyes and walked over to Celty again.

"I need you to take me to see Shinra." he told her.

"Roppi?" Tsuki called.

"I'll be right back."

He followed Celty up the stairs.

"What's that way?" he asked her, pointing to a darker section of the hallway.

"That's solitary." she said.

"Oh, alright." he said, making a mental note.

They walked into Shinra's office. Said doctor was behind mountains of paperwork again.

"Ah, Celty~! Orihara-san! I'd love to talk, but I have to find someone new to replace Izaya and do the paperwork to have Seiji Yagiri moved to a different facility." he said frantically.

"You're moving him?" Roppi asked.

"Yes. He's had too many strikes. I'm making him someone else's problem."

"Dr. Kishitani, I'd like to apply for the position of the new therapist." the raven stated.

Both Shinra and Celty looked at him in total shock.

"Look, I know I look just like Izaya, alright? I realize he's unorthodox, but he's a damn good therapist and you know it. I'm nothing like him, but I've been told I'd be a good therapist too and... I want to try it."

"Orihara-san, you don't have any education on the subject..." Shinra said.

"I know that. But you've already broken quite a few rules. What's a few more?" Roppi shrugged, motioning to Shinra's hand wrapped in Celty's.

"...Why do I feel like you're going to blackmail me if I say 'no'?"

"Because I look like Izaya."

Shinra placed his head in his free hand and sighed.

"Fine, fine. I'll give you a week to see if things work out."

"Thank you. Also, I'd like to request to work in a different group."

"Why? You don't want to stay with the ones you've come to know?"

"No. I'm too attached to them, and my advice would be biased. I want to start fresh." Roppi explained.

"Ah, I see. You don't want to influence them based on your time here." Shinra smiled.

"Exactly."

"Well, I think that can be arranged. Report to me tomorrow morning at 9am."

"See you then." Roppi turned to leave, glancing back in time to see Shinra give Celty a kiss on the lips.

_"Ah, so that's how she learned she has a head."_

He strode back into the hall, going toward the blackness that was solitary. He glanced in one of the rooms, finding Seiji strapped to a bed with a dead look in his eyes.

"Hey there." he said to the brunette. Seiji scowled at him.

"Why are _you _here?"

"Well, it's not like anyone else is coming to see you, so deal with it."

"...Thought you'd be gone by now."

"I'm about to leave. I thought I'd come say bye to the person I really hate before I left." the raven explained, edging toward the bed.

They sank into silence.

"You look like you've given up." Roppi said finally.

"Well, after being raped by my mother, then raping two women, and almost raping a man, can you blame me?" Seiji spat. "I don't have a reason to keep going."

"No you don't. Not yet. You'll find it though."

"...Why are you acting like this? You hate me. You just said so."

"I do hate you. At the same time, I want you to know that how you feel right now is how I felt before I came here. I wanted to die, and I almost killed myself on many occasions. Then...I met Tsuki. He gives me all I need." Roppi said.

"What's that little idiot got to do with me?"

"Nothing."

"You're saying I'll find someone that just makes me want to keep going? Do you know how stupid that sounds?" Seiji hissed.

"Your sister really loves you. Shinra said they're transferring you to a different hospital. I'm giving her the address so she can work there."

"...You'd do that for me?"

"It's not fair for me to let you give up on yourself when no one would let me."

"...Thanks I guess." Seiji tried to shrug, but the straps made it impossible.

"Fuck you." Roppi smirked, turning to leave.

"Oh, by the way..." Seiji called to his retreating form, "I hate you too."

Roppi walked back to the main room where his lover was.

"Where are Shizuo and Izaya?" he asked the blonde.

"They took their own cab so we could have some privacy. They're meeting us there." Tsuki replied, fiddling with his scarf.

"You're terrified, aren't you?" Roppi smiled.

"A little. But...you're with me..."

"Always."

They walked hand in hand, out the front doors together. Tsuki turned.

"I never thought...I'd get to leave this place alive... It's weird to be free again..."

"I'm not used to it either. We can do anything we want now, Tsuki."

"…Do you think the air out here is really heavier than it is in there?" the blonde asked in a scared voice. Roppi only laughed.

Rain started to pound into the roof of the cab as they drove away, leaving the institution far behind them. Tsuki observed the scenery out the window, remaking on how much had changed since he had been locked up. Roppi leaned against him, drifting in and out of a light sleep.

Their hands met.

Their future together could truly start now. Tsuki could get used to things outside more every day, and Roppi could be there for him always. They could start fresh, and stay together in their new apartment. (Once they re-painted the kitchen.)

It would be hard for both of them, and they knew that. They were both still far from sane, but sometimes that's okay. They had each other, and that was enough.

Tsuki completed Roppi, and Roppi completed Tsuki. Somehow, amidst the dysfunction of the institution, they had managed to fall in love and give each other a reason to live.

Together, they could figure it out.

Together, they were fixed of their problems.

And that's all they needed.

_[And I wonder, when I sing along with you. If everything could ever feel this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you've gotta promise not to stop when I say when. She sang...]_

_**The End~**_

* * *

_Sachi: *sobbing hysterically*_

_ Roppi: Um... It's going to be alright?_

_ Tsuki: I don't wanna end the story!_

_ Sachi: I had so much fun writing this! I'm so sad to end it, but it must be done... Now I can move on I guess..._

_ Roppi: Last time you said that you added another chapter to an already completed story._

_ Tsuki: Maybe you could give us a sequel?_

_ Sachi: DON'T TEMPT ME! *flails* Anyway, all of your reviews helped me through this! I loved reading them and replying to all of them. You guys are truly wonderful, and I'm lucky to have you all! I love you!_

_ Izaya: Now for more Shizaya!_

_ Sachi: *mumbles* Technically, now it's on to more DelHibi... Eh, but we all know I'll get there eventually. Until next time, my dear readers!_

_ ~Sachi_


	26. Chapter 26

_Izaya: Hello my lovely humans~! I bet you're all wondering to what you owe the pleasure of your God addressing you? Well, I have great news! This is the first chapter of my newest fiction!_

_Sachi: Um...Izaya..._

_ Izaya: Shhh, Sachi-chan, I'm talking now, ne?_

_ Sachi: ..._

_ Izaya: Now, what will this story be about?_

_ Sachi: It's a bonus chapter for my Tsukioppi... You don't have a new story yet...sorry..._

_ Izaya: ..._

_ Sachi: Um...but you're in it? And I uh... I love you!_

_Izaya: I'm going to your Facebook to troll you._

_ Sachi: Noooo! I said I was sorry!_

_ Roppi: On with the story! They're too immature to do this correctly...*sighs*_

_Maps_

_(Yeah Yeah Yeahs)_

_[Pack up. I'm straight enough. Oh say, say, say, oh say, say, say, oh say, say, say, oh say, say, say... Wait, they don't love you like I love you. Wait, they don't love you like I love you. Ma-a-a-a-a-aps, wait! They don't love you like I love you...]_

Roppi's feet crunched in the melting snow. Spring was coming soon. It had been two months since he and Tsuki had been released from the Ikebukuro Psychiatric Hospital. Well, more or less released. Roppi walked back and forth to the establishment every day for work.

He had a whole new group of misfits to help. They all seemed just like the old group. They had their problems, and there was no "quick fix" for any of them. He used his own experience as examples. He told them there was no way to cure themselves.

They had to learn to live with what they have.

And you know what? Thus far, he was doing damn good as a therapist. For once in his life, his fucked up childhood was helping others. Roppi let a small smirk grace his lips as he crossed the street. His phone rang.

"Hello?" he asked as he picked up his new smart phone. It had been another gift from Izaya. Tsuki had a matching one, and the poor raven had spent many nights trying to teach the blonde how to use it.

_"Roppi! I don't know where I aaaaaammmm!" _Tsuki's frantic voice filled his ear.

"What do you mean? I thought you were at Izaya's!" Roppi hissed. His cousin _knew _better than to send the fumbling blonde out on his own. Tsuki could get lost going in a straight line.

_"I was but he asked me to go to the post office and send something, since it's right down the corner... I guess I turned the wrong way and I tried to find my way back but I think I just got more lost!"_

"...Seriously? Tsuki, all you had to do was turn around!" Roppi said in disbelief.

_"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! Don't be mad at me! I'm just scared!" _Tsuki's voice sounded tearful now. Roppi let his anger fade.

"What do your surroundings look like?" he asked his lover.

_"Umm... There's a really tall building beside me..."_

"Does it say anything? Do any of the building near you say anything?"

_"Eh...N-No... Oh, wait! There's a little grocery store over there!"_

"The one with the green overhang in the front?"

_"Yes! I think we went there last week!"_

"We did. Now go inside, and stay there. I'm coming to get you."

_"Thank you..."_

"It's fine, love. Calm down." Roppi smirked as he hung up.

Now, you might be wondering why Tsuki doesn't just use his GPS on his smart phone. This is what happened last time:

"Eh? Which one is me?"

"Tsuki... You're the _only _dot on the screen..."

"Ah, okay! So, how do I access this?"

"It's on your main menu. It says 'Maps' on it... You just saw me do it..." the raven had said, smiling in amusement. Tsuki acted as if it was advanced calculus.

"Main menu? Is that the thingy on the middle of the screen?"

"...Those are your contacts..."

"Contacts?" he had asked, fiddling with his glasses.

They had eventually agreed that if Tsuki got lost, he was to either call Roppi, Kasuka, or Shizuo _immediately._ Izaya was off limits, since he had a habit of trying to make the poor blonde even more lost.

Roppi's phone rang again.

_"Roppi-chan, I'm missing a secretary. Have you talked to Tsukishima?"_

"Yes, Izaya. He got lost, thanks to you." Roppi said flatly, turning onto the street the grocery store was across from.

_"Eh? It was right down the street! I didn't think he would get lost."_

"He did."

_"Am I in trouble, Roppi-chan?"_

"Yes."

_"Oh, Shizu-chan, I'm in trouble!" _Izaya called to someone else in the room. Roppi heard a deep voice answer him, but couldn't make out what it said.

_"Ahahahaha! You're such a pervert, Shizu-chan~." _

After that, there was the sound of fabric ripping, something breaking, and the phone cut off.

Roppi walked into the store, looking around. A man called him from the corner.

"Good evening, sir! May I help you?"

"Ah, yes." Roppi said calmly. "Have you seen a tall blonde in here? He's wearing a scarf."

The man looked around like he expected Tsuki to materialize behind him.

"Is that him?" he asked, pointing to a man by the front window. Roppi smiled as Tsuki turned, meeting his eye.

"Roppi!" the blonde cried, running forward to embrace his lover. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"You just saw me this morning." the raven laughed, wrapping his arms around Tsuki's neck as he was lifted. The oaf twirled them around, drawing very much attention to them.

"I, ah, I see you found him." the man grinned, trying not to look uncomfortable.

"Yes, this is him. Tall, blonde, _devilishly _handsome~." Roppi purred. Tsuki shot him a lopsided smirk before he threw the raven on his back and started carrying him out of the building.

"Sorry again." he said when they got outside. "Izaya had me sort all these files today, and I thought it would be nice to go out and be of more use to him, since he helped us out so much. I guess I kinda screwed that up though..."

"I told you, it's fine. I don't mind helping you." Roppi said, kissing his neck.

"How was work?" Tsuki asked, following Roppi's directions and leading them home.

"Long. Shinra wants me to fill in for another group next week. I'd have two sessions of group a day, instead of one."

"Are you going to do it?"

"I don't want to, but we need the money if we want to eat." the raven said, pointing left for his lover to follow.

"True. I get paid next week. We can use my check for groceries."

"We need your check to pay the power bill. Let me take care of the groceries."

Tsuki huffed at him, walking outside their building. He walked them to the elevator, and pressed the button, leading them to their floor. When they got inside, he turned to his lover after he placed him on the floor.

"I need to pay for more than just a few bills. I'm supposed to take care of you!"

"Tsuki, your paycheck is essential to us to survive. I need to use mine for the big bills, since I make a little more. That's all." Roppi assured him. The blonde made a face at him, taking off his scarf.

"I only make a little less..."

"Exactly. Which is why if you'd ever bother to check my math, you'd see I only pay $100 more than you each month. We need each other to keep this place."

"Oh..."

"See?"

Roppi grinned at him, shrugging off his red and black jacket. His sleeves were rolled up again, revealing his scars. Tsuki stared at them.

"I still can't believe...it's been so long since we got out..." he said quietly.

"I told you it would work out, didn't I? You obsessed over nothing." The raven pulled his shirt over his head, going toward the shower. Tsuki's hand pulled him back.

"Wait..." he said breathlessly. He pulled the smaller man flush against himself, making them both hiss when their groins met.

"Tsuki?"

"Shhhh. It's my turn to help you out..." the blonde said quietly, kissing him fiercely.

"I, ahhhhh, I have paperwork to do..." Roppi moaned as his tongue was nibbled. Tsuki's large hands traveled down to his hips, fingers dipping into his waist band.

"It can wait, right? I'll help you with it. I'm getting pretty good at filing things." the blonde said, unbuttoning his lover's pants and tugging them down.

"You are? Mmmm, good because I'll need help with it. I feel like I'll be very busy in the next few minutes~."

"You will be."

Tsuki leaned down, biting on Roppi's neck. When the smaller man cried out, he breathed into his ear.

"Ah, do you feel how hard you are?" his hand grasped at the growing bulge in the raven's black boxers.

"Hahhhhhhh! T-Tsuki..."

"Heh... You're a little wet too. Have you been wanting this so bad?" Tsuki purred, fondling Roppi harder.

The smaller man leaned his forehead against the blonde's shoulder, breathing heavily. It was strange to observe every time. Whenever they started to have sex, Tsuki's personality changed drastically. He turned...animalistic. It made Roppi beg for him every time. He _loved _dominant Tsuki.

"It's... It's been, _nnnnnnnn_, a while..."

"We've been busy lately. I've noticed how stressed I feel. I guess, based on _this_," he pressed his hand even harder, "You've been feeling it too."

"Tsuki..."

The blonde gave him a Cheshire grin, kissing down his neck and spanning his hands over the raven's bare chest.

"Beautiful..." he hissed, leaning down to bite a nipple.

"Ahhhhh! S-Stop teasing me...ne?"

Tsuki flashed him a grin, indicating that his teasing was far from over, and kissed even lower. He reached the hem of his lover's boxers, and licked his lips.

"Do you want it, Roppi?" he smirked.

"Nnnnn..."

"Tell me, or I won't know."

Roppi forgot how to voice his want for this man. All he could do was thrust his hips toward the blonde, hoping for the best. Tsuki gripped his thighs, growling lowly.

"Alright then. I'll just wing it." he said, wrapping his mouth around the raven's clothed erection. It was blissful and infuriating all at once. Roppi could feel the heat, but couldn't lose himself in it.

He needed more.

"Hahhh, ahhh, please..."

"Please what?"

"Tsuki... Take them off...please..." Roppi begged openly. He would never let his voice sound this way for _anyone _else.

The blonde had a predator grin on his face, as he tugged the boxers down, wrapping his tongue around his lover's swollen member.

"Ahhhhhhhhh~! Ohhh, there..." Roppi groaned, moving his hips to force himself more into that delicious heat. Tsuki obliged, allowing the raven to assault his mouth. He bobbed his head, earning a feral cry from the smaller man.

"Nnnn, no more... No more!"

Tsuki released him, looking up so their eyes could meet.

"I want you, Roppi."

The raven sighed blissfully, tilting his head back against the wall. Tsuki was always so honest... It got him more and more every time.

"I'm... I'm all yours..." he told the taller man. The blonde snarled, and lifted him in the air, going toward their bedroom. He threw Roppi onto the mattress, following after him.

"I love you, Roppi." he said as he settled between the man's legs, grinding down.

"Ahhhhh! Love you too...ahhh..." The raven's hands frantically reached down to un-do Tsuki's pants.

"Eager?"

"Need you..."

Tsuki helped him remove his pants, before he gave him three fingers.

"Still? I don't need...preparation..."

"Yes you do. Be good and I'll make it fast."

Roppi hissed as the fingers entered his mouth without his consent. He nipped the fingertips, before he swirled his tongue around them, lathering them with saliva. He locked eyes with Tsuki, who was looking at him hungrily through his glasses. Roppi grinned before he reached up to remove them, placing them on the bedside table.

"Ready?" the blonde asked eagerly.

"I've _been _ready."

The oaf rolled his eyes, placing his fingers against his lover's entrance. Roppi moaned blissfully as one entered him.

"So good..." he purred, thrusting down against the probing digit.

"Roppi... You're so perfect...always..." Tsuki sighed happily as he inserted another finger. He curled his fingers into the velvet walls, searching for the spot...

"TSUKI! T-There!"

Found it.

Tsuki smirked, shoving the last finger in a little rougher. He knew his lover liked it better when it hurt a little. Roppi was writhing beneath him, riding his fingers.

"Need...more... Please..."

Tsuki smiled at him, moving to settle more against the smaller man. He removed his fingers, and positioned himself. Slowly, he pushed in.

"Nnnnnnn... Oh, God..." Roppi mewled. This was his favorite feeling.

"You're...sucking me in..." Tsuki hissed, wincing as the walls tightened around him. "If you keep doing t-that...I'll come..."

"Then move!"

The oaf pulled out, slamming back in harshly.

"Nyahhhhh... Tsuki..."

The blonde chuckled lowly as he hooked the raven's legs over his shoulders.

"'Nyah'? That's a new...one..." he ground out, picking up pace.

"S-Shut...up..." Roppi met him in the air to deepen the thrusts. He screamed when his prostate was hit.

"Fuck...Roppi..."

"Harder..."

They picked up pace again, the mattress squeaking under them. Everything was out of their heads besides the pleasure.

"Ahhh...Roppi... I love you...love you..." Tsuki said between thrusts. It seemed to matter so much more when they were connected like this. The blonde had to tell him.

Roppi was at a loss for words. He simply moaned louder, wrapping his arms around his lover's scarred neck. He only just noticed the scarf was still on. Tsuki slammed into him harder, making him cry out.

"Close..." he hissed.

"M-Me...too..."

One more well aimed thrust had both men careening over the edge of bliss. Roppi came on their abdomens with a cry. Tsuki came inside him, filling him up. The raven mewled at the feeling, his toes curling. They fell against the sullied sheets, both panting heavily.

Tsuki propped himself on his elbows, looming over the smaller male as he kissed him gently.

"I love you." he said again.

"I love you too...more than anything..." Roppi purred.

They lay in content silence, listening to the sounds of the city outside.

"I just thought about something." Tsuki said suddenly. "Where's that nurse outfit?"

"Seriously? You want to go again?" Roppi asked in disbelief.

"I wouldn't mind, but I was referring to the fact that we haven't used it in so long."

"...Now that you mention it...I haven't seen it around either."

"Hmm. I guess we misplaced it." Tsuki sighed.

"Speaking of misplacing things, we need to get you a GPS you can actually use. I worry when you get lost."

"...I don't mind it so much..." the blonde said quietly.

"Explain that, please."

"When I get lost... I know you'll find me."

Roppi chuckled at this, kissing his lover again.

They fell in silence again, letting sleep consume them for a little while. When they woke, they would have work to do, and Roppi would receive a call from Izaya apologizing for ripping the nurse's outfit. Shizuo would be in the background, saying it was Izaya's fault for being a damn tease.

Right now though, all was well.

_[Wait...they don't love you like I love you. Wait, they don't love you like I love you. Ma-a-a-a-aps, wait, they don't love you like I love you...]_

* * *

_Sachi: I'm done now, officially. I just had to do another lemon! Me lovey dominant!Tsuki~!_

_ Izaya: *Still mad*_

_ Roppi: So, this one is the last? You promise this time?_

_ Sachi: I do... I feel it ended better now. I got so many requests to know what Tsuki was like on his job, and how Roppi did as a therapist, and a __**very **__interesting one from TinkanaiT32 requesting to see them 'break in' their bed. :3_

_ Izaya: I demand a new story! I'm your favorite! I want a new story!_

_ Shizuo: Flea, you're being a baby._

_ Izaya: SACHIIIIIII!_

_ Sachi: I'm sorry! I'll start one ASAP, I swear! I do love you! *sobs and glomps Izaya*_

_ Tsuki: Eh... Review? We love them! And this bonus chapter __**WAS **__just for you guys~_

_Until next time, my dear readers!_


End file.
